Oh yes Stealth I totally agree and think the FiL example is really really good - that's about normalizing positive choices and showing self care which is something that tends to be so private that you don't know you can't do it until it's bloody obvious!
Societies tendency towards normalizing gluttony and creating no-win situations where self control is tested to the limit creates a toxic background for anyone to make good food choices. And it needs to change.
But I also think fat-hatred and shaming is despicable, and increasingly accepted in culture.
Being straight talking is often confused with a tacit permission to be cruel and unpleasant to people who cannot hide their failings, as its there wobbling around for all to see (yes, that would be personal experience talking there!).
More modeling of good strategies, and positive feedback loops to help instill new habits, and more straight talking to help people see they have choices.
But please I'd love our society to make the shaming and hatred as socially unacceptable as the fat itself. I've love less of the hatred, class stereotyping, and the 'otherness', that just drives eating underground and increases the self hatred and need for comfort... Which are all triggers for more unhealthy eating.
Oops, sermon to congregation of mumsnetters who don't particular need it now over!
Ahem!