To wonder what you do when your dc are older.

[Ivegotyourgoat]

This probably sounds really stupid, but my dc are still little, the eldest is 8. So they are generally both in bed by 8.30pm latest. At which time j usually let out a big sigh of relief, open a giant bar of chocolate and watch TV and spend an hour with dh.

I guess once they're a bit older that time on my own is going to go out of the window. I love my dc to bits but I love my hour or two child free in the evening.

What's it like in your house when they're teens? For example what if you want to watch something unsuitable like an adult drama? Do you just lose your evenings once they're older?

[BG2015]

My 2 DS are 16 & 13. We never see them. They are either in their rooms or out.

They play on Xbox/ps4 or watch Netflix, YouTube etc.

They rarely sit with us during the evening. We eat together at weekends but not very often during the week as we are all in and out at different times with clubs, work, gym etc

It's totally different situation than when they are little. I'm probably in the minority but I cannot wait till they have left home, so sick of teens eating my bread, biscuits and crisps and mountains of trainers by the front door.

[BoboChic]

IME the DC spent more time in their rooms as teens than as children as they had a lot more homework.

But generally speaking the DC have always liked hanging out with us in the evening. We have a very spacious living area in our apartment with several desks/tables/TVs/piano/sofas/beanbags so that everyone can be within companiable distance but able to do their own thing.

[NewLife4Me]

You make their rooms really appealing from about age 11/12. Decorate to their taste.

Then don't, I repeat don't, do anything else until they are 18 and off to work/ uni.

Bit by bit start to cull their rooms and if possible move eldest into smallest bedroom.
This is the time to stop it being too comfortable so they will want to move out.
it worked for ds1, getting their with ds2 now.

[motherinferior]

(Oh, and they borrow such items of your clothes as pass muster with them. It's a choice between frumpery and nudity.)

[motherinferior]

Except when they're moaning that there is NOTHING TO EAT IN THE HOUSE, while staring into a fridge packed with unacceptable items....

[GetAHaircutCarl]

They also inhale food.

That four pack of pain chocolate you bought for Saturday morning. Gone by Friday night.

[SparkleSoiree]

My current teen studies Monday to Friday in her room for 1-2hrs after dinner then spends time on social media with her friends. She may grace us with her presence through the evening, having a nosey to see if we have any lovely treats out! Occasionally she stays over at a friend but generally likes to spend time in her own company or with friends but rarely us.

My eldest child (24) NEVER kept regular hours with us. He lived out of the house, played sport and generally kept busy with his mates in one way or another. Still recall the time we got a 2am phonecall from his friend to go get him as he was singing his heart out at the petrol station (too much cider) and he refused to move.

I'm actually a bit sad when they become older teens as it spells the beginning of their independence journey and closer to the time when they will start thinking of moving out for whatever reason, even if it's only term time. I have one under 13 still but already the house is so much quieter since my son left home and I really miss the laughter, bickering, deep conversations, etc between myself and him or listening to him and his friends messing about upstairs.

Don't wish the time away because when they leave home it is a big wrench.

[BertrandRussell]

"Yes, teenagers are terrific. They can cook supper, read interesting books that you then purloin, and never, ever, inflict puppet shows on you."



Sadly, however, they still want to play shops. Only with Amazon and your Prime account...............

[motherinferior]

Yes, teenagers are terrific. They can cook supper, read interesting books that you then purloin, and never, ever, inflict puppet shows on you.

[GetAHaircutCarl]

I have two at 16.

They either watch TV with us or, more commonly, watch their own stuff on iPad/play PS/listen to podcasts etc

They usually go to bed around the same time as us.

[corythatwas]

Pixienott0005 Thu 05-May-16 23:16:41

"Christ by reading these posts I dread mine becoming teens. You basically get deafed out for technology."

Not as bad as it sounds. They show you things on Youtube, you watch the telly together, they send you things they think you might enjoy or tell you things they have learned, you go out for meals together, you can have an adult conversation and eat your dinner in a civilised fashion without constantly having to nag about table manners.

[DooWhop]

My youngest are 11&14, my eldest has left home. I'm often in bed before my teen, always asleep before! I don't really get any time alone with DH and haven't for years. We've even taken to walking round to the shops in the evening together just to get 30 minutes peace together
We get weeks behind on grown up to as teen is around but she has started joining us to watch milder stuff.

[BeALert]

Errrr boarding school.

Answer to everything.

[notoTTIP]

My older teen DS introduced us to Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones. We watched them with him so we could have some family time together. Basically once they're 16 you have to make an effort to tempt them to spend time with you.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

12 and 10 and things are a bit problematic right now, they do a lot of extracurricular stuff and often see friends after school so there is a lot of ferrying about which can be as late as 9.15, then homework has to be fitted in (12yo doesn't get home from school till 4.45 at the earliest and needs to unwind), dinner, other jobs. I work during school hoursand am supposed to be revising for exams but never manage to get started till after 9.30pm which is too late, I want to relax by then. But I'm still very inclined to spend the early evenings with the DCs becore they get to the teenage shut in rooms stage.

[Pixienott0005]

Christ by reading these posts I dread mine becoming teens. You basically get deafed out for technology.

[Pheobe1]

My two teens rarely leave their rooms unless food is being offered.
The slightly younger DC have their own TV room, and I keep the romote close by in case I need to pause anything inappropriate.

That makes us sound as if we never spend time together but we have regular family games nights which even the teenagers join. Saturday night is family veiwing together.

[JaceLancs]

The teenage years are mainly own rooms and out and about quite a lot
I still stuck to rules of eating together round dining table where at all possible, and no computer/games consoles in rooms. They both had tv in rooms from high school age but we agreed an acceptable switch off time
It's lovely when they grace you with their presence and deign to watch tv together
We used to arrange film nights with sweeties n popcorn etc
Now 23 and 24 and we all hang out together on occasions which is fab, and on others all do our own thing
As long as I know who is in to eat I'm cool with it, and surprisingly they still want to connect with me and DP when he's around
This weekend we are planning a games night, along with cocktail party. Will also be either bbq or Mexican food night depending on weather
Each family member and their DP will organise some part of food and will be lovely to chill out together

[missymayhemsmum]

You pick up after them, maybe watch TV together, hopefully share the chores and generally have less privacy than they themselves demand. You end up dispensing relationship and careers advice and help with urgent homework at midnight. And eventually you stop waiting up for them on when they go out, and are no longer the last to bed on a school night.
On the other hand, you can of course go out without needing a babysitter!

[seasidesally]

They'll probably be sitting in their rooms with YouTube on a tablet anyway. I thought no teens did actual TV any more.

pretty much this

most evenings i have the lounge and gigantic sofa all to myself

[Ivegotyourgoat]

I love the replies. I suppose it all happens quite gradually so you don't really notice it. Actually reading now I can see how I'm going to miss them when they don't want to know me.

I'm not watching anything that bad, but even the soaps I could imagine being a bit awkward at times, perhaps it won't be.

I'm in a house full of men and I don't particularly like sport, somehow I can see a lot of it being on TV.

[junebirthdaygirl]

Teens here used watch TV with us in the evenings which meant l watched a lot of sport but l didn't mind as it was fun all watching together. Now at college they roll in at the weekend looking for food and watch whatever we're watching at night if not out with friends or working late at part time jobs. No TV in any other room but they do use laptop late into the night. During holiday time we all watch movies on Netflix. Remember they are great company and you end up watching stuff and chatting about stuff you never imagined. Darts for example!!

[HoneyDragon]

Mine is nearly thirteen. I'm in the bath, I can hear him laughing his head of and going "fgs die please!" I really hope he's on the Xbox

[BackforGood]

Agree with everyone else.
Teens disappear into their own rooms and have to be prised out every now and then for you to check they are still alive. Don't worry, they won't come anywhere near you and your TV choices in the evenings.

Oh, and they can watch "adult" programmes. Indeed, I have heard a discussion about something one of them had watched (between ds and dd1) when it was said "It's probably not really suitable for Mum though"

[feelingdizzy]

Mine are 13 and 14 haven't seen them for about 2 hours,in their rooms on various gadgets. Dd 14 will sometimes watch TV with me,I often fall asleep on the sofa,the kids will wake me at 9/9.30 to tell me its bed time.I'm so rock and roll!