Disabled priority in lifts?

[harshbuttrue1980]

I had a disagreement with a friend this weekend and genuinely want to know if I am BU. My friend can't walk, and uses a mobility scooter. She isn't in any pain at all, and has no other health issues. She has a great job and a really active life.
We went to a shopping centre this weekend, and the lift was full, so we had to wait to use the next lift. She said afterwards that I should have asked the other people already in the lift to get out so she could get in. I said that I didn't agree with this, as she is equally able to wait as everyone else. She was a bit taken aback.
To clarify, if there was someone on crutches, heavily pregnant, a child having an autistic meltdown or someone else who would struggle with waiting, then I think they should have priority.
Am I being unreasonable to think that someone in a scooter shouldn't ask everyone else to vacate a lift so they don't have to sit in their scooter and wait their turn?

[TooLazyToWriteMyOwnFuckinPiece]

My shopping centre lift goes up at least 8 floors (car parking) It is understandable that most people will use the lift rather than the stairs at some point.

[FuddleMuddle]

I'm not sure on this. I have MS and go through phases where my balance is really bad. The nearest tube to my house has 2 long down escalators and some long down stairs. When my balance is bad I can't do down. I wait for the lift and have got some dagger looks from people 50+ because to them I look totally fine. I'm not. But to them even if I've been waiting for the lift for ages they think they should get in first because they are 50+.

I had a lady challenge me on a bus the other week, some older people had got on (not really old) and I was sitting close to the door. She told me in a loud voice the seats were for elderly and disabled. I had to whisper to her I had MS and my balance wasn't good. I was mortified.

[YorkieDorkie]

You said a pregnant woman was in the lift amongst others. What if she had SPD or terrible sciatica like I did? Stairs used to send me into blinding pain and were avoided at all cost until I was forced to go to bed at night and come down in the morning. I just think it was a little judgemental of your friend to assume everyone in the lift was capable of using the stairs just because they were using their legs in the lift!

[JuxtapositionRecords]

There is no way of knowing why those people are using the lift. How humiliating asking people to get out and people having to justify why they are in there! There would be another one in a couple of minutes, surely not a big deal to wait.

[manicinsomniac]

YABU - your friend doesn't have the option of the stairs; most other people do. (unless of course there were no stairs?)

However, she was unreasonable to tell you to say it, she should have said it herself.

I have to admit though, I leave my disabled mum to use lifts on her own if we are out for the day together. I'm terrified of lifts and only use them if there's genuinely no other option at all. I don't think it's rude to take the stairs for any reason and meet your friend at the top. Also not unreasonable to use the lift with her though, of course!

[YorkieDorkie]

Yes to all of this! ^^

[LouBlue1507]

I'm with you OP but not only that, can she not use her own mouth? Why is it your place to ask people to get out of the lift? If she's quick enough to say something to you then she can say something to those in the lift!

[YorkieDorkie]

Damn wasn't quick enough!

[NeedAGrip]

Are you saying that I should have used the stairs and left my friend to take the lift alone??

You could have waited for her to get in the lift and then used the stairs to meet her at the other end of the lift. Thus freeing up a space in the lift for someone who can't use stairs.

[FarrowandBallAche]

But those already IN the lift might have needed it as they have a hidden disability.

[RoryHuntzberger]

Am wading in as an actual disabled person.

In general I am thoroughly unbothered by waiting outside a lift. I wouldn't dream of asking people to get out of a lift so I could get in

HOWEVER

I do think that if you are capable of using an escalator or stairs, and you are choosing not to without reason other than laziness and your laziness forces a disabled person to have to wait for the next one, then you are being a bit of a cunt, frankly.

I find the amount of YANBU here depressing and indicative of a wider social concern I have that more and more disabled people are being viewed as undeserving, demanding and a nuisance.

[PPie10]

But those already IN the lift might have needed it as they have a hidden disability.

Exactly. Who is to say these people are unreasonable. Do people really expect everyone to get off ?

[Groovee]

I have an invisible disability and often get glared at for using the lift. If able bodied people are using the lift because they want to rather than they need to, then it does annoy me a bit but I wouldn't say anything.

[FarrowandBallAche]

You see if I were in that lift and had seen someone in a wheelchair waiting I would have got out and made room as I can use the stairs.

[gasman]

People are funny about lifts.

Sometimes when I'm moving ITU patients around he hospital I ask visitors to get out of the lift so we can use it (usually me, nurse, porter and patient). It isn't good to hang around with an unstable patient and if that is the case I don't want bystanders in the lift either.

People get really arsey about it.

[cleaty]

When I have had to use a wheelchair, no one has ever given me priority. But it is annoying when the lift goes up and down full, and you have to wait ages.

[museumum]

Those who can use the stairs should.
If it's a massive problem (eg 3 or 4 lift all full when an able person would give up and use the stairs I think it would be fair for your friend to say to the next lot "is there anyone who can use the stairs? we have been waiting a long time as they're all full but I obviously have no other option?"

[FarrowandBallAche]

That's absolutely shocking gasman.

I remember when I was in hospital going in to theatre ( walking ) and had to wait for the lift as a patient in a bed needed the lift, thinking poor woman. She looked very ill. Didn't cross my mind to be arsey! Far too nervous actually.

[ZigZagIntoTheBlue]

Haven't read whole thread but the thing that bugs me most about lifts is when 1 person NEEDS to be in there and their 6 family members or friends go too! If I've got ds2 in pushchair dh will take ds1 on escalator or stairs.

[manicinsomniac]

In terms of hidden disabilities, I think it very much depends on where you are.

If you're talking about lifts up from some tube lines, train stations, hotels, hospitals or multi storey car parks then almost everybody uses them and the chances of someone in one having a hidden disability is pretty low.

If you're talking about one in a shop or supermarket then I don't think most people are even aware they have lifts so almost everyone in one would be disabled.

A general request to make room for a wheelchair user in the first group of lifts - absolutely reasonable and to be expected, I would say. Those lifts aren't reserved for disabled people, they're for general use. Using them might be lazy but humans are lazy by nature (look at how the majority of people stand still on an escalator) and that is fine. But it does mean that someone without the option should get an automatic priority, in my opinion.

If it was the second group of lifts, I'd probably just have waited as I would assume that everyone in it needed to be in it and it would probably be quite quiet anyway.

[228agreenend]

I think would be a little rude to ask those already in the lift to get out.

However, if there was someone waiting in a wheelchair for a lift, I would give them priority and let them go first when the next lift arrived.

[bigbluebus]

Roryhuntzburger I'm with you. My DD is a wheelchair user but if I am out without her and am only going up or down a few floors I will always use the stairs/escalator. Also if the 4 of us are out as a family and the lift is quite small, one of us will go with DD whilst the other 2 will use the stairs - it's usually quicker than waiting for the lift anyway.

The only time I have ever had to queue for a long time for a lift was at Ikea in Wednesbury before they did the alterations. They put trolleys outside and people would collect one and queue for the lift (as they couldn't use the stairs with a trolley) The thing was that they could have collected a trolley elsewhere in the store so wouldn't have then been forced to use the lift. The lift was tiny and we queued for about 20 mins just to get to the 1st floor where the main shopping started. When I eventually got to the checkout, I discovered that a clock I had purchased had the battery cover missing. The member of staff told me to go back around and collect another one. My response was a polite ' you've got to be joking' giving my reasons - a staff member was immediately summoned to go and collect one on my behalf using the stairs. Thankfully they've now had bigger lifts installed.

[FuddleMuddle]

If you're talking about lifts up from some tube lines, train stations, hotels, hospitals or multi storey car parks then almost everybody uses them and the chances of someone in one having a hidden disability is pretty low.

What are you basing this on? I use the tube and train a lot and am often at the hospital.

[Hushabyelullaby]

I'm a wheelchair user and absolutely would not expect or indeed ask other people to vacate a lift just so I could use it. If they are in it already IMO it's not justified asking them to get out so I could take their place. This is assuming that the lifts are frequent of course and I didn't have an urgent need to use it.

I have had people who are walking with a stick/on crutches wave me through a doorway first or into a lift first, but I always let them go before me. After all I'm in a chair/on a scooter, most of the time I could wait a long time if needed (not always, due to other health problems)......this isn't necessarily so for people with other walking/health issues. You didn't indicate that there was a reason she needed to use the lift urgently, so I'm assuming there wasn't one. It would change things if there was.

What an astonishing level of self righteousness. Good on you OP, she probably didn't have the brass neck to say it herself as she knew it was bloody cheeky. Ok the people in the lift already may have been able to take the stairs, but it's not like by having to wait a few minutes longer the OP's friend would have had physical repercussions.

Just because someone is a wheelchair user it doesn't mean that they automatically have rights to everything over able-bodied people. Nor can they (we), be rude, nasty, or entitled (all behaviour which I've seen).