to be nervous about my sister's wedding?

[AllTheFluffyAnimals]

I'm a bridesmaid, as are my two DDs (6 and 9), three more adults and one baby. It's a big catholic thing, he is Irish and they are apparently quite traditional.

The only weddings I have been to that I remember (so not when I was a tiny child) have been my own and one of my friends, and neither were traditional or formal.

I suffer from quite bad anxiety anyway, but ARGH. I have no idea what to expect. What are my bridesmaids duties? What will be expected of the DDs?

My boyfriend is coming along and the kids love him so he can help entertain them, although he isn't invited to the sit down meal he is coming to the church and the reception.

The DDs have never even sat through a church service! The nearest they have been is 5 years ago they came to grandads funeral but my ILs took them out of the church when they started getting fractious, which was pretty soon.

DD1 is quite mature and sensible, but DD2 is, ahem, spirited.

i just don't want to let my sister down. She's put so much time and effort (and presumably money) into this dream wedding.

ARGH.

[HeddaGarbled]

Very important to keep your Kurds occupied during the service

[selsigfach]

Irish Catholic upbringing here. From a child's perspective, services are long and boring and go on forever but we were expected to sit quietly and behave. Bridesmaids will be at the front and I disagree with a PP, iPads and snacks are not appropriate. They will need to sit quietly and not make a scene for an hour, like at school assembly, without YouTube and angry birds.

[Smartiepants79]

Both your kids are at school so should be used to being asked to sit still for periods of time. They will have sat through assemblies etc.. They won't have to do anything except walk down the aisle when needed and pose sensibly for some photos. I'd expect a 6&9 yr old to be able to behave in this situation, they're not babies. If yr DP is there he could take the youngest out if necessary. You might be asked to help out a bit but with 3 other adult bridesmaids there shouldn't be too much to worry about.
Have some bits to keep the kids quiet available. And try and enjoy the day!

[serin]

Oh heck, stop your fretting and enjoy your day.
Your DC are 6 and 9, they will rise to the occasion , esp if you explain how important the day is and how they will remember it forever.
It doesn't matter that they haven't been to a church before, they will have sat through school assemblies and concerts and will be able to follow the service/hymns (assuming no SN?).
Full service lasts about 60mins but I have been to a few Catholic weddings recently which weren't the full Nuptual Mass and they were only 20 mins max.
It will be lovely.

[Catanddogmake6]

Agree with the bag of things for the kids today. At my daughters christening I did them for all the children. Sticker book or colouring. Those 'stretchy' men/ rabbits/ dinosaurs you find in party bags were a huge hit. I also put in sweeties that can be sucked likes fruit pastilles. Nothing noisy or that will clatter when dropped on the floor. Also get someone to put them on their pew so they haven't done it all before they get there. Said bag will also help with the meal when they are bored.

[AllTheFluffyAnimals]

That's ok then

[CalleighDoodle]

Haha i wouldnt have thought so. My sister is heavily pregnant right now. And the last irish generation in my family is my gran. Everyone else was born and lives in england, Scotland or america.

[AllTheFluffyAnimals]

Calleigh, you're not my sister are you?

[CalleighDoodle]

That sounds like my hen do! Salsa class, meal and dancing in manchester. Stayed near canal street...

[AllTheFluffyAnimals]

I should add, sister and soon to be brother in law are both teachers, as are many of their friends, so I'm hoping they will be understanding of children slightly pissing about. Or maybe not.

[MoggieMaeEverso]

And by Kurds I mean your lovely children. Sigh.

[TotalConfucius]

And talking of maggots....
My sister and I were bridesmaids at a Very Important Wedding when we were small. We had white furry tunnel things on strings around our necks that hung down, we were supposed to put our hands inside whilst we all processed down the aisle. I think they were called muffs.
In the middle of the mass my sister pulled a tobacco tin full of maggots out of her muff and proceeded to play with them on the floor of the church. Oh, mother was not amused.
So please ensure your DC don't carry any contraband into the church.

[MoggieMaeEverso]

Take a small backpack of things for the Kurds to do during the service:

• crayons and a new notebook
  
• stickers
  
• word search, connect the dots
  
• tablet/phone and headphones. Make sure you download lots of games or have access to YouTube videos
  

And snacks!

[AllTheFluffyAnimals]

The baby is just walking (she took her first steps this week) so hopefully she will walk sucessfully down the aisle as I think my sister has the idea that the children will walk in front of her looking all cute while the adults walk behind her.

[AllTheFluffyAnimals]

We've done the hen do, she's getting married at the end of this month. Hen do was arranged by me and the other two English adult bridesmaids (my other sister and a life long friend) grooms sister didn't even come, although we only found this out at the very last moment when I was about to pay for her hotel room (I paid and everyone paid me back thier share) The hen do had a salsa class, cocktail class, three course meal and night out on Canal Street.

The mother in law disapproves of the suits and has bought the father in law an entirely different suit. Which is a whole can of worms.

But then, one of my uncles HECKLED my wedding, so hopefully the more formal atmosphere will be good...

[NicknameUsed]

They have a baby as a bridesmaid ?

[EverySongbirdSays]

Speaking as an Irish Catholic - BillSykes has it spot on esp. about the funerals.

You are required to hold a bouquet and walk down an aisle.

Mass/Service will take roughly 60 mins. A bit of pissing about from kids will be expected, outright acting the maggot would be frowned upon. Best/good behaviour encouraged.

Are you her Chief? In which case it's rather expected for you to organise the Hen Do and that can be a right PITA

[AllTheFluffyAnimals]

There is the wedding, then the sit down meal (which many family members aren't even invited to - for example I know there is a table for 30 booked at a local restaurant for just some of our side who couldn't be fit in the sit down meal)(we have a big family) then the reception where there is a band and a DJ and big scale jenga etc in the courtyard and I think bacon butties. It sounds amazing. But also scary.

There is a story behind my boyfriend not being invited to the sit down meal - he wasn't invited at all to start with. We've only been together 9 months anyway though.

[Lightbulbon]

IT is v unreasonable to not invite the bridesmaids dp, even more so if she has DCs to look after during the event!!! A

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Edit... What is the reception if it isn't the sit down meal?

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

I would suggest to your sister that you would be less anxious if your partner was properly invited to help with childcare!

[CalleighDoodle]

I imagine it will be around an hour long if she is having a nuptial mass. Bridesmaids duty is just to walk down the aisle unless youve been given something specific. I had my two young bms read the bidding prayers. But they obviously knew in advance. A non-bm friend read the old testament reading. Me and my husband did the offertory. But again all this was planned well in advance.

[Lilaclily]

And your boyfriend will be able to take the kids out if need be
Don't panic ! He might get a meal invite by then too

[Sallyingforth]

There may be a rehearsal beforehand. If so you will see what's involved. Ask the bride.

[BillSykesDog]

So you've never been to an Irish Catholic wedding? One thing about Irish Catholics: they are used to children. There's lots of them about, a spirited 6 year old at a wedding will not phase them. Have bf take her out for a breather if necessary.

Irish Catholic events may be formal, but it's unusual for them to be stuffy or reserved. I have been to Irish Catholic funerals which have been more fun than a lot of British weddings. Go, have fun.