AIBU to send ds to school today?

[Watchingnetflix]

Ds1 (15) was away with army cadets all weekend, very tiring weekend, back about 4 yesterday and had an early night. He was shattered this morning and achey but I sent him to school anyway. He's messaged to say none of the others went to school today and I'm feeling super mean and guilty and don't know if I should offer to get him?

Thing is he's missed 4 days this year already with dental appointments as orthodontics is in a town 1.5 hrs away and he's in his first year of GCSEs and has some exams coming up.

I feel so mean now!

[Jeeves93]

As a cadet instructor I have never known any cadet take a day off school after a weekend unless they had sustained some kind of injury, which in itself is extremely rare. I am often shattered after a weekend but have to go to work the next day.

[Watchingnetflix]

Well he came home totally fine, he nodded off in one lesson but said he was fine by lunchtime although still sore, and I think he's quite proud he was the only one of his cadet mates to go to school.

To be fair he didn't even ask not to go to school (he knows he basically has to have a limb hanging off to avoid school ) it was only when he said his mates didn't go to school that the parental guilt kicked in!

[RaskolnikovsGarret]

DD is going on DofE shortly, and will be home at 7ish. No option of not going to school on Monday, and none of the girls would want to. I can't believe the whole of your DS's class was off, I'm shocked!

[Janecc]

I take it your ds is otherwise fit and healthy. If so yanbu or mean. My DD (7) did 6 dances in four 3 hr dance shows one weekend. She had to be on site fully made up and hair done by 12.30pm. The second show finished st 9.30pm. By the time I'd taken her hair and makeup off/fed her, it was 10.30pm Sunday. She still went to school the next day. I was a bit surprised that one mother had decided her DD wouldn't be going to school because she wouldn't cope - she did 11 dances. I didn't consider myself mean. All the other girls went to school the next day. Had my DD been really tired, I would have kept her off but only because she has a medical condition more easily triggered by illness or tiredness where her heart stops beating or slows to an imperceptible pace and she falls instantly to the ground, if it happens when she's standing, she can bang her head very hard. (Reflex Anoxic Seizure). Luckily she has only had a few.

[Ameliablue]

I would have sent him if it was me.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

I'd have done the same op, it's the kind of character building the army cadets would be proud of. I remember having 3 days doing a 50 mile DoE expedition in the Brecon Beacons. My mum was dead proud, ran me a nice hot bath upon my return, cooked me my favourite dinner.... and remarked how much I'd have to tell my school friends about the adventure the following day!

[whois]

You totally did the right thing and he'll be fine. He can have a lazy evening after school, a nice big tea and an early night tonight.

[crazywriter]

He'll be fine. During college and uni I'd have numerous weekends with military exercises. Lots of walking, running around with heavy packs and very little sleep. I would always have to go into classes on the Monday, no matter what time I got back on the Sunday.

You did the right thing sending him in, and he'll be better for it in the long run. If he really struggles with that, he'll have to decide whether army cadets is worth it (IMO it is) or not. A hobby doesn't stop him from going to school.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

You did the right thing; the others sound wimps.

[Beeziekn33ze]

OP You did the right thing and he'll be all the better for it. It was army cadets he was out with, after all, maybe some toughening up is part of the objective.
Funniest - Huge respect! ⛰

[Unicow]

I would have sent him in as well.

[funniestWins]

My Mum sent me to school unless I was nearly dead. I was at school on Monday morning having done the 55 mile Ten Tors walk over the weekend. I had to go barefoot in class because of the blisters. It didn't do me any harm and me and the other student who did attend got called up on stage that day for the headmaster's assembly.

You did the right thing.

[Biffa44]

With further questioning, I bet one or two haven't gone to school, the rest have. He's trying to make you feel guilty. ALL the kids in my son's class have PS4s and their own Youtube channels, don'tcha know....

[Ludways]

I'd have sent him in too. I used to do it.

[Rezolution123]

DD1 has been in Cadets for five years now and she has never had a day off after a weekend away training. If the others need a day off today then they are not ready for army cadet life just yet. Things will get better as the raw recruits toughen up but school work must come first.

[BreakfastMuffin]

I would send him to school too. They know how to make us feel bad don't they! Are you sure NONE of his friends are at school today? If I believed all my son (11yo) says he'd never go to bed before 10.30 pm (apparently ALL kids from his form go to bed so late), all of them also have Macs, new xboxes etc.., 😊😊

[acasualobserver]

He's messaged to say none of the others went to school today

It's their parents who have done the wrong thing.

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

You were right to send him. I try and book the day off after i go away with guides but if I can't I wouldn't dream of calling sick, and if I had better things to do with my annual leave I would suck it up.

He got back at a reasonable time and had an early night, he needs to suck it up and get through school or else reconsider future weekends away

[bluespiral]

If cadets prevents children from attending school then they shouldn't be in the cadets. Of course you did the right thing sending him.

[yorkshapudding]

You did the right thing. Tiredness isn't the same thing as illness and is not a valid reason to miss school. He will cope.
Also, "everyone else's mum let them" is a pretty classic tactic used by teens to push your buttons and make you feel guilty. I bet in reality it's only one or two who've been allowed to stay at home.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

DS came in and asked to go for a shower - in our en-suite! It was so he didn't have to step up into the bath in the main bathroom That was his only concession.

[Voteforpedr0]

He's 15 not 5 you were right to send him, i would've done the same thing. You can join the army at 16 and be expected to survive on much less sleep than that, he'll catch up with rest when he sleeps tonight.

[Watchingnetflix]

They got back about 4pm, they're never very late back and he went to bed early. I was kind of surprised the rest are off school to be honest (his team all in same school)

[AugustRose]

DD2 (9) went on a Brownies activity weekend last week - left Friday 5pm and got back Sunday 6pm - she went to school the next and she'd hardly slept all weekend.

I'm sure he'll be fine, I wouldn't be offering to collect him.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

He didn't even ask or suggest he shouldn't be in. he has the real thing in a few week, he can't just have a Monday off after every busy weekend. DS1 did the same and has also had weekends when he has been away tree planting etc and still gone to school. The other parents definitely are BU.