Swearing, aibu?

[Ozwizard]

Ds is throwing a paddy! He wants to be able to use swearing whilst playing his Xbox. A boy in his Xbox party is having a row with ds and apparently this is how arguments are being played out by swearing at each other!! I am making ds look uncool by not letting him swear back so he looks like he is losing the argument! I do not like swearing and have never brought him up with it. I do not want him doing it, especially as when on Xbox he shouts anyway in the heat of the game! He's 13 and says that I should let him do it because of his age.

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

Yes, the more positive origins are American not English.

Re meltdown/tantrum: A child has no control over a meltdown, they can't be bribed or cooerced to stop etc, they're not acting out because they didn't get their way etc

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

although the American meaning is still only MARGINALLY more positive: still ghettoised to some extent, not as much as others in America nowadays though.. and like most ghettoisation they send in their own to shoot/scoop them up!

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

There's lots of other stuff about it if you google difference tantrum meltdown

[SurroMummy13]

It's up to you. Are you comfortable with him swearing?

If you are, allow him.

If only on the game but not outside his bedroom, then allow him.

If not at all, tell him so and put rules in place.

Whatever you do, be firm. I know if my parents had heard me swear, if never have heard the end of it!

In fact my mother still won't let me life down the one time when I was 3.5yr old and I said 'I'm bloody knackered'...

It's entirely your choice. But don't flirt between. Pick and stick.

[ILikeUranus]

Tell him to fuck off
I agree!

I also agree with your son that two teenagers having a barney, the one that doesn't swear loses the argument. However, I agree with your opinion that you couldn't give a fuck who loses the argument, and if he's having an argument instead of playing then he should turn the fucking thing off and play with something else. Personally I'm not at all offended by swearing though, and it wouldn't bother me at all if my 13yo told some tosser over playstation to fuck off. It would bother me if I had to listen to stupid arguing though, swearing or not, that shit is annoying.

[MrsRyanGosling15]

OK as an Irish person I hear this all the time! Basically throwing a hissy fit. People would be offended by their own shadow sometimes.

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

There are also some disabled people who still use "spastic" and "invalid". Still doesn't make it okay for general use.

[MrsRyanGosling15]

That's a word you would hear and know straight away its not ok. Hardly the same, as this thread has shown.

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

Is it? My mother (and several of her friends) insist it's fine because it's a medical term (and it was until relatively recently).

[MrsRyanGosling15]

Well go speak to your mother then. Different generations seem to use the same words and phrases in different ways.

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

Invalid: because people aren't their disability.

If you have cancer, you are a person with cancer, you aren't aren't a cancer
if you have downs syndrome, you are a person with downs syndrome, not "a down kid"
If you have a disabiliy, you are a person.. with that disabiliy. Not a invalid

also, I think the word can be deconstructed to sound like "not valid" ?

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

an

[DonkeyOaty]

Every day's a school day. I thought beyond the pale reffed Calais. I love learning stuff.

[MrsRyanGosling15]

But what if someone with epilepsy says it?

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

its other meanings = not acceptable
invalid

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

so what MrsR? Just because some black people say the n word doesn't mean I can!

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

(anyway, I used to say "shitfit" not hissy fit . I don't say either now out of the context of fitting, or "that bra is a nice fit" etc)

[ChickadeeChick]

Well I never. I also had not ever made the connection and have used the phrase "throwing a paddy" in the case of a tantrumming child. I'm absolutely mortified that it means that and that I didn't make the connection. That said I've never referred to an Irish person as a 'paddy' before though. The word paddy is more associated with rice fields in my mind.
Like I say, I'm absolutely horrified that I might have offended anyone in my use of words and certainly won't use it again. Also I'm shocked at "beyond the pale" I had no idea that was also racist. Thankfully I don't use that turn of phrase so I've not offended anyone there.

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

maybe then its the combination of that and also the word meaning not valid or not acceptable in other contexts

But invalid was certainly used for long term disabilities as well as illness (and still is by some )

Being a patient is temporary. If someone was described as "and they were an invalid" that would usually mean lifelong or a chunk of their lives at least

[CubicZirconiaBossyBabe]

Maryz I don't find it hard to understand that people don't want to be described using a term that also in other contexts means not valid or acceptable. Really, it's hardly surprising.

And I didn't "invent" it not being okay to use that way anymore. It's not okay. It's not really up to me. People who it has been used to describe are offended by it and that's all I need to know to use a different word. It's not hard