To want to send Lily Allen our support?

[Destinysdaughter]

Just read that she has been the victim of stalking for 7 years which only ended when the man broke into her flat in the night, entered her bedroom and tried to attack her.

Seems like she wasn't taken seriously by the police and they were more concerned by the fact it was a burglary than that it was someone who had been stalking her for years?

This is an issue that is very serious and affects a lot of women, I had no idea that this had happened to her and wanted to say I'm angry on your behalf and I'm sorry this happened to you and you weren't taken seriously? And I hope this helps raise awareness of how common and serious this is?

[Ninefreerangeeggs]

Can't begin to imagine the anxiety she went through during this ordeal. Thank goodness the stalker's own mother had the sense to inform the police of his possible intentions

[squoosh]

Yes I read this last night and my blood ran cold for her.

Terrifying stuff.

[NewLife4Me]

[YummyDarkChocolate]

Yanbu. Terrifying for her.

Best wishes, Lily

[suzannecaravaggio]

Poor Lilly :(
she must be so traumatised and stressed :(

[HelenaDove]

Absolutely petrifying for Lily.


Claire Kendal did extensive research on this for her novel The Book of You. Including how victims of stalking were basically expected to gather their own evidence to even stand a chance of being believed.

[zozzij]

“These are not isolated incidents; they are part of structural violence against women because of their gender – 85% of young women in London have experienced sexual harassment – 85%! We know the reporting is improving, which is great, but support and services are disappearing for women. And 80% of victims are women; 70% of perpetrators are men"

I do wonder what the WEP spokesperson means by this, given that their definition of "woman" is "anyone who describes themselves as a woman." The fact that they refuse to acknowledge that the experience of womanhood is in any way related to biology really means that they lose the right to use this kind of language IMO.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Horrifying, and I'm glad she has spoken out. Imagine having to beg multiple times to even see a photo of the man who is terrifying you.

Imagine the police being so uninterested in one woman's safety, freedom and future.

It's vile. And it's scary that men really can do whatever the duck they want to women and the establishments and society condone it.

Because, not helping women who are harassed, hurt and terrified, that's tacit agreement that it doesn't really matter.

How utterly foul.

[Destinysdaughter]

She said in her interview that she's practically become a hermit. And this is from someone seemingly so confident and feisty who also has money. If this can do that to her then it just shows how devastating the effects of this can be.

[Hirosleaftunnel]

Terrible thing to have happened to her and her kids but she publicly criticised the Met over Ian Tomlinson and Mark Duggan. Anyone who has worked with the Police in London knows that if you cross them, they aren't going to come running to your rescue. Also the whole burglary thing, I assume that they had to prove something was stolen to prosecute as they could not prove the intruder had been in her home. The other thing that makes me uneasy is her attitude towards the perpetrator, he threatened her in her home and she says he is a victim of the system. Just no. Sorry I can't understand that.

[Ickythumpsmum]

Hiro don't you think you should be able to disagree with the police but still expect them to help you when in danger? Your post actually made me feel sick.

[HoundoftheBaskervilles]

Ugh, “These are not isolated incidents; they are part of structural violence against women because of their gender

GENDER

Sex is not gender.

And yes, you can be concurrently a victim of a perpetrator and 'the system', one doesn't necessarily preclude the other.

[Hirosleaftunnel]

Just to clarify, I'm not saying that the Met was right to ignore her, if that is what happened, I'm just giving a possible reason as to why they may not have been too keen to help her. All speculation of course, only those involved know what really went on.

[suzannecaravaggio]

The recent IPM program on radio 4 focused on stalking, I thought it was interesting
It's on iPlayer and podcast if anyone is interested

[The80sweregreat]

It doesn't surprise me at all - how many times have we read stories in the press where the police kept saying ' nothing we can do' etc.
its very sad and it still seems that the crime of stalking isn't taken seriously. Iilly is brave to speak up about it.
nold, sorry to read that.

[catewood21]

just to point out too, that it is not only women that are victims of stalking.25% of victims are men and over 25% of perpetrators are females

[BadDoGooder]

Its shit but I'm sadly not surprised.
My violent, abusive ex stalked me for months, and the police basically told me there was nothing they could do until he attacked me.
Its downright horrifying that women are expected to live in fear, and actually be physically assaulted before they are given any help.
My ex was only "spoken to" when he walked into the empty pub I was working in and violently attacked me. Even then a panicked 999 call and bruises weren't enough for further action as it was my word against his. (No witnesses, no CCTV)

I'm so sorry Lily, I've been there.

[LucyInTheSkyWithDonuts]

How bloody terrifying for her, and the implications of her case and lack of action make my blood run cold. Why is stalking not taken more seriously? Why aren't these men dealt with sooner before they try to ruin women's lives.

hopefully lilly can get back to what she does best, making great music and enjoying herself.

[suzannecaravaggio]

Why stalkers stalk
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p03qg4rk

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

I am sorry she had to deal with that stress for so long. Terrible.
Finding him in her room - knowing that her children were in the house - nightmare.

[nancy75]

Agree with catewood21, a male friend of mine suffered a hoffic 2 years being stalked by a woman, it's not just a problem for women

[BillSykesDog]

That's pretty standard for the police. I had terrible problems with a downstairs neighbour with MH problems which culminated in him threatening to stab me. The police at refused to understand that I wasn't in a relationship with him and never had been (even the neighbour wasn't claiming that FFS) and then started using semantics to justify doing nothing. The police claimed he'd said 'I feel like going downstairs to get a knife and stab you', which is apparently not an offence and not worth doing anything about, unlike what he'd actually said which was 'I am going to go downstairs to get a knife and stab you'.

They just wanted it off their books, off their hands, excused and ignored. Totally unsurprised the same happened here.

[OiWithThePoodlesAlready]

Ugh...its horrible. Her kids were in the house

I hope it's over for her now. She seems nice and very understanding.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

I'm glad it's been established that men get stalked just like women do. However, the statement '25% of victims are men and over 25% of perpetrators are females' can also be read as:

'75% of victims are women and under 75% of perpetrators are males'.

Therefore I'll do you a deal; we'll talk about this as a problem that mostly affects women for, oh, let's say 75% of the time and then discuss the impact on men for the other 25%. Is that ok?

[Catmuffin]

She said in her interview that she's practically become a hermit.

That's awful. How sad.