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AIBU?

I've messed up...

45 replies

StupidGirl4568 · 09/04/2016 19:26

Posted here for traffic, sorry.

Last night I got very drunk and went home with a man I met in a nightclub (I'm single btw) and the condom split. I don't take the pill as I've been single for many years and don't make a habit of having one night stands. I am currently about two weeks past my period, so at my 'fertile' time. I went to get the morning after pill this morning as soon as I woke up, and the pharmacist said due to where I am in my cycle it could fail, and said something about getting a coil fitted on Monday. I've been freaking out all day, and I bought some of the Clearblue ovulation tests (£23! Yikes!) to see whether I was ovulating. It came back negative. Sorry to sound dense, but does this mean I'm in the clear and can stop panicking?

OP posts:

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turnaroundbrighteyes · 09/04/2016 20:50

Do you know if the condom had spermicide in it? A friend was told that in the event of a condom failure the spermicide would still be effective.

lorelei9here · 09/04/2016 20:55

Yikes
Well if you won't abort then try for the coil but I totally agree with a PP, you took it in good time.

A private clinic might be able to do it asap.

Buttwing · 09/04/2016 20:58

I would get the coil fitted. The map didn't work for me I still ended up pregnant. After it happened the clinic told me that the coil being fitted would have been more effective. Unfortunately no one told me about it before hand. I would have had it in a heartbeat.

CantChoose · 09/04/2016 21:06

Fitting a coil is the most effective but you took the MAP in good time.
You would be unlucky to become pregnant but it's possible.
In my area there are several walk-in family planning services who will fit coils every day except Sunday. I suspect that other areas don't have such a readily available service though...
The fpa website should have a list of local services.
Good luck, whatever you decide!

glueandstick · 09/04/2016 21:18

Just to make you feel better, I took the morning after pill at the same time in my cycle about 11 months ago. She's currently having her night time feed....

getyourfingeroutyournose · 09/04/2016 21:32

Hey, you had fun and this shit happens. Do what the doctors and health pro's advise and definitely get tested for STD's. I would get tested now, once in three months and then in another three months after that one. Go get the full shebang done to be on the safe side as you said you plan on having kids in the future but a lot of STD's can remove that possibility if undetected as I'm sure you know.
Don't be ashamed. You've not done anything wrong.

mumcantmakeadecision · 09/04/2016 21:33

Please get the coil. Don't rely on MAP. I've taken it twice. Ds is 16 and ds2 is 9, it's not completely reliable.

CalleighDoodle · 09/04/2016 21:33

Wow reading this it seems the map only works if you wouldn't possibly get pregnant anyway!

Get the coil fitted. Get tested for stds.

Crabbitface · 09/04/2016 21:40

You haven't messed up at all. Fingers crossed for you OP. While you are having coil fitted get an sti check.

SuperFlyHigh · 09/04/2016 21:58

I must have been lucky (or infertile, I know I'm not as have had miscarriage and termination) as MAP worked every time taken 5 times in my life different stages.

I wouldn't fret too much.

thecatsarecrazy · 09/04/2016 22:03

My dh and I both had a condom mishap about my fertile time and i took the emergency contraception both times and things have worked out fine.

thecatsarecrazy · 09/04/2016 22:07

Sorry meant to say happened twice. I went out and bought a load of tests, convinced myself I would get pregnant anyway but no.

IamthepermedowlofVeronica · 09/04/2016 22:10

You've done what you can but a chat with gp on Monday is needed. Hope you enjoyed it despite the mishap!

CantChoose · 09/04/2016 22:36

Don't panic about the stories. It has a failure rate for sure.
But very few people will bother to post to say they've taken it any didn't get pregnant :)

HPsauciness · 09/04/2016 22:43

I've used MAP just fine.

The biggest difficulty is getting it in time (in first 24 hours), if you have done that, I would be satisfied with that myself.

In the old days you might have a split condom on a Sat night and not be able to get it til Monday morning.

RebeccaCloud9 · 09/04/2016 23:13

Ive taken it a few times and it worked every time (well, didn't get pg!).

StupidGirl4568 · 10/04/2016 00:12

I took it twice back in my younger days of being an irresponsible fresher at uni and it worked both times. That was quite a while ago now, and I feel a bit silly for hooking up with some random from a nightclub (don't even enjoy nightclubs anymore! But with a rare weekend to myself without my children went a little crazy!) Trying to re live my youth I think... both of my children were planned, and they were both conceived instantly (another reason why I'm worried - though it's been a few years since my last pregnancy so maybe I'm less fertile now...) so I've been pretty clueless about ovulation tests and whatnot until today.

Note to self: don't go clubbing and get drunk.

OP posts:

MrsRyanGosling15 · 10/04/2016 00:24

Glad I'm not the only one currently feeding a MAP failure! Sorry op that's not going to inspire confidence in you but it has made me laugh slightly. I still look at him and wonder how the hell he is here. I'm sure you will be fine.

StupidGirl4568 · 10/04/2016 00:37

Lol MrsRyan! It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if I was pregnant - I do want another, in fact I have been getting very broody again lately since the new series of One Born started but as I say, it's not really practicable to have one just yet! I'm single, in an overcrowded house, miles away from any family support, already have two kids who are now both in school so I sort of have my life back a little, I'm self employed and finally doing okay money wise at the moment, not megabucks but able to treat the DC to a couple of holidays a year and nice birthday parties - can't get maternity pay when I'm unable to work! And going by my previous pregnancies where I suffered with horrible hyperemesis and SPD, this one would probably not pan out any differently. I did feel a pang of disappointment when the ovulation test was negative I guess, not getting any younger and I feel pangs of jealousy whenever I see new babies - but the guy was erm, to put this nicely, a bit of a rough lager lout with not much going on upstairs. I would rather try for another with the right guy, or a donor if I don't meet 'the one'

OP posts:

StupidGirl4568 · 15/04/2016 18:14

Just wanted to update everyone: on Monday I bit the bullet and checked into a sexual health clinic to get the coil. Had to go 20 miles from home as my own GP couldn't do it(!) and the local hospital only run a clinic once a week so it would've been too late for me. It wasn't as bad as I thought. The pain was minimal compared to what I expected, luckily. They sent this hand hold nurse which was a bit embarrassing, but the doctor was understanding, though told me off as I'd never had a smear, so as well as the STI checks and coil, they did a smear with the big scary brush thing, eek! Spotted for one day, and have had no other symptoms since. Hoping to be TTC next year with donor sperm, so should be able to get it taken out at any time and fertility returns to normal. :) Definitely no more nights out clubbing at my age!

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