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AIBU?

Pay day loan and hen do - AIBU

235 replies

Henzilla · 29/03/2016 20:54

Apologies...another hen do one. One of my best friends is getting married. She's not having bridesmaids a few of us friends suggested organising a night out as a hen do but Friend 2 said she had spoken to bride who wants to go away for weekend in London. I said I can't afford a weekend away but Friend 2 went ahead anyway. I take the point - she only gets married once, so figured I'd just find the cash from somewhere. Now Friend 2 says she won't be able to come on the hen do as she has a 6mo. This is perfectly reasonable of course - one of the reasons I suggested a smaller thing so everyone could come! So now I'm in a position where I'm going to be taking out a payday loan to afford a night away that I'll be in charge of.

AIBU to think that her reason for not going isn't better than mine? Yes, I can take out a loan to afford it and she can't leave a baby she's breastfeeding. Am prepared to accept therefore IABU. I know the bride wants to go away and I want her to have a womderful weekend and I don't want to let her down. But I would have spoken to her and gently said is quite short notice for people and let's make it a fabulous day/night in our hometown. It's too late to do that now and I just feel desperately worried about money and that I've been cornered into something where I'm just going to be thinking about every pound so it's not going to be the dream weekend away she hoped for anyway.

OP posts:

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SavoyCabbage · 04/04/2016 18:30

Don't be sad, it's the right thing to do and the wedding is the main event.

sleeponeday · 04/04/2016 18:29

I'm glad, OP. I am sad you aren't going, but was genuinely worried that you'd keep getting in more financial shit if you didn't learn to say no to people.

You have the right to keep your head above the economic waters. In fact arguably the obligation. Good for you - putting a stop to this took genuine guts.

bearbehind · 04/04/2016 18:16

evansgreen do tell us why they are a good thing then?

OP, well done on choosing not to go. It's the right thing to do.

How did friend 2 / bride react?

ShamefulPlaceMarker · 04/04/2016 18:09

I'm also negative about Loan Sharks evan or are they okay too?

DoreenLethal · 04/04/2016 18:00

I have no idea why everyone is so negative to a payday loan.

Really? Ohkaaaaay.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/04/2016 17:56

I'm really glad you didn't get a loan op. You might not even know these friends in 10 years.

MrsHathaway · 04/04/2016 17:45

Evans - probably because they're not crap at maths. Hth.

EvansGreen · 04/04/2016 16:53

I have no idea why everyone is so negative to a payday loan.

AcrossthePond55 · 01/04/2016 01:16

You have made the right decision. Don't doubt it for a second.

Henzilla · 01/04/2016 00:49

I'm not going on the hen do. I'm sad about that. But I'm happy I feel better about myself.

OP posts:

MrsHathaway · 31/03/2016 18:18

It was half spam, Bear. I also reported it ::high five:: but thought it worth addressing the non- (or less) spam half in case MNHQ were slow to delete.

SylviaWrath · 31/03/2016 12:08

I ended up bailing him out so that we didn't have a bad credit history against our property. It cost me a huge amount!

My son and the OP need lessons in economics

Um, I think you could do with one of those lessons yourself. Credit history is on the person, nothing to do with the property, so that was an expensive mistake for you.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 31/03/2016 11:25

I ended up bailing him out so that we didn't have a bad credit history against our property

You wouldn't have had bad credit against your property, that's not how credit history works.

HazelBite · 31/03/2016 11:17

One of my Ds's took out a payday loan to go on a friends stag do. He didn't tell anyone and I only had knowledge of this when the company started calling the house phone about his late repayments. I ended up bailing him out so that we didn't have a bad credit history against our property.
It cost me a huge amount!

The irony of this was the wedding was called off at the last minute!

My son and the OP need lessons in economics!

Bearbehind · 31/03/2016 10:49

It's spam mrshathaway I've reported it.

MrsHathaway · 31/03/2016 10:42

A wise decision to take out a payday loan to have enough cash to go to a party you don't even really fancy ... a loan you won't be able to repay?

I can only get on board with wise PDL usage when there's a crisis the wrong side of payday, eg boiler blowing up and it's sub-zero outside so you can't put the repair off until Wednesday.

Freya888 · 31/03/2016 10:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Italiangreyhound · 31/03/2016 00:46

So, honey, you called the bride and friend 2 yet?

We need to know how all this ends???

hugs.

RedSoloCup · 30/03/2016 23:44

I've said no a few times to 'hen weekends' as I can't afford them, I don't feel bad, we'd all like an unlimited budget but that's not life sadly and a loan for a hen do!! No way!!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/03/2016 23:31

Sounds like you are keeping up with the jones's

If they are such good friends they will understand

Know you said you would be telling b2b that you can't go - but have you

If you have then well done

No point getting into debt for a weekend of drinking and dancing

JoyceDivision · 30/03/2016 21:32

Surely the problem is two fold:

Firstly having to use a pay day loan... If you can't afford to go and used a pay day loan, you would have that debt with astronomical interest to repay and then you have the costs of attending the wedding (outfit unless you already have one you plan to wear ) then the cost of drinks and taxis, and likely a gift as I'm guessing if you're not comfortable saying you can't afford the hen do then you wouldn't be comfortable not bring a gift. So if you can't afford thehen do, how are you going to afford a pay day loan repayments and then the cost of attending the wedding?

Secondly.. Banks take note of people using pay day loan companies etc so be wary... It can affect anyfutureplans you may have.

Interesting comment you made about not wanting to say you can't afford things and the cost of keeping up with your friends. Are there any particular reasons why you have a very different financial situation to them? Are they from generally wealthier backgrounds where money never has been an issue? Are you in a lower income bracket which limits your spending orhave you amassed debts trying to keep up to your friends lifestyles that are way out of keeping with your own?

Friendships don't have to be based on a similar financial standing but your being able to be upfront about what is it isn't affordable for you is necessary for any good friendship

SavoyCabbage · 30/03/2016 21:18

The Maui hen party is a cruise!

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starry0ne · 30/03/2016 21:17

well done OP...Hope you feel better today after making the decision.

Shutthatdoor · 30/03/2016 20:46

Hope not wizzywig

wizzywig · 30/03/2016 20:36

This isnt the maui wedding is it?

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