Aibu to be annoyed when DD,(4) wets the bed...

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

Given that I put her to bed in a nappy and she has taken it off!

Is this a thing? I decided she wasnt ready to be dry at night, so kept her in pull ups, but at 1am I was woken up again to change her wet bed /pjs, while her discarded nappy was dry as a bone.

Any ideas?

I've let my 2nd and 3rd kids choose when to stop wearing nappies at night and they have surprised me by being ready when I didn't think they were (DC1 was the opposite and didn't want to give up nappies at night despite having been dry in the day for ages, and I coerced her eventually).

My Dc2 and 3 though both wanted to stop night nappies when they stopped day nappies - I thought they would definitely wet the bed as they had always had wet night nappies, but DC2 has never wet the bed ever, not even once (he last wore a night nappy at age 2.5, 6 years ago). DC3 wasn't quite so instant despite being 9 months older than DC2 had been but still only wet the bed very occasionally for the first few months (and not at all the first nappy free week) and then stopped totally.

I'd let her try without a nappy at all tbh - if she is very aware of not being in a nappy because she is never put in one, and you talk about trying it but going back to pull ups (which she must then keep on all night) if she isn't ready she might surprise you by not wetting the bed.

But YANBU to be annoyed that she takes her nappy off (especially if you have talked about needing to keep it on) and then wets the bed, as it is that you are annoyed about, not her failing to be night dry.

Yes, lifting can teach then to wee while asleep.

They also need to learn to wake up when their bladder is full- if you lift they dont get the full bladder sensation.

4 is way to young for dr's and nobody will prescribe her vasopressin at this age. It's a drug, with side effects. Dr's wont actively do anything until at least 7.

I used to lift my daughter when I went to bed at 11. She used to do a huge wee that she'd never have held unto morning. Why don't you try that and pop a pull up on/back at the same time. DD used to pretty much stay asleep.

I can't remember how or why it stopped; but before she was five.

I also have ds in a back to front onesie, my friend puts her dd to bed in a swimsuit under pjs :)

DS2 went through this stage. No where near ready to go to bed w/o a nappy or pull up, but kept taking it off, I imagine because it was uncomfortable.

I did spend quite a bit of money on trying to find the thinnest "bed time pants" in an attempt to get him to keep the pull up on and we talked quite a bit about it.

I reassured him it was normal (he was in Reception class and I told him that I bet 1/2 his class wore bed time pants but that there were things we could do if he wanted e.g lift him when I went to bed. He didn't want me to wake him.

I did end up bribing/rewarding him to keep the pull up on because it was just too much to deal with soaked bedding every day.
I also had washable bed mats which I prefer to the disposable ones.

In the end of course he just matured and it was all fine, but it's frustrating.

DS1 was dry at night before he was dry in the day so they're all different.

I'd put her nappy back on while she's asleep before you go to bed. Even if she stirs, she should drop back off to sleep.

Swimming costume under pjs! Inspired!

Last night was about the sixth time. First time was sleepover at nannas house and she went in their bed with them so I'm concerned that might be her agenda! Then she has been doing it sporadically at home over the last few weeks. We've talked about it and she does have a potty in her room. She knows she has to keep it on then a few days later she does it again.

Rather than double making the bed, although this method does require new sheet, I have an inco pad underneath DD. She rarely wets the bed but it's there as security and means the mattress cover is protected. Vastly reduces the need for bed changing.

Mine are the same age, 4 in a couple of weeks.

One twin wants to be dry at night and sometimes leaks if he's not been to the toilet before bed, or wets if he gets up and goes to the toilet, but his pull up is wet so he takes it off but doesn't wake us for a dry one or put one on himself. The double bedding works brilliantly in these instances.

The other isn't anywhere beer being dry at night so we're leaving her until she wants to be dry.

With our son, I've told him if he's dry 2 nights in a row I'll let him try without pull ups. He always manages the first night but never the 2nd!

I struggle with the idea of making them strip the bed etc themselves when they are still so little. To me it's just shaming the child and I worry that creates more problems than it solves. But I appreciate making them do the work works for some.

As your problem is your dd is refusing to wear a pull up, I think you need to work out why. Mine don't care what design they wear as long as when I buy huggies ds2 wears the blue and dd2 wears pink (I try and avoid them for this reason).

So, does she get to choose which ones she wears? Could that make a difference? A star chart with a reward that she really wants for a week of wearing them all night - dd2 had a sticker album with a sticker for every time she did a wee in the potty during training as she was very reluctant to say train.

Definitely onesies back to front, even big girl knickers over the top so they're a little more snug might help.

bedraggled Does she want to try without a nappy? Could she try at the weekend (or whenever it would be least bad to have interrupted sleep dealing with a wet bed if she does wet?)

Seriously you may find she is dry if she is very aware of going to bed nappiless, rather than sleepily removing it in the night. All mine have been night dry reliably quite a long time before their 4th birthdays, and all went from wet night nappies to dry at night without them, without waiting for a period of dry night nappies, so whilst it is equally normal to still be in a pull up at 4/5/6 it is also very much realistic to consider that she might be dry if she went to bed awake in full awareness of not having a nappy.

Get sleepsuit onesies. Asda do cotton ones, Despicable Me, Star Wars, Frozen... you'll find what she wants there. Much harder to get the pullup off.

Do you call it a nappy when talking to her? DS is almost 4 and he wears "night pants" not nappies because he's not a baby, he's a big boy. The "night pants" are actually just a daytime pull up (cheaper than the night ones and hold enough now that he only ever does 1 wee). I think at this age they see themselves as too big and grown up for nappies. To them nappies are for babies.

Maybe try buying some pull ups with a different pattern to what shes had before. Then telling her they are special night pants made for big girls. She may be happier to keep them on.

For easiness in the middle of the night try having an airmattress or sleeping roll near the bed with a sleeping bag or spare duvet on it.
She can then slip into that nice and dry then you deal with the wet sheets on the bed in the morning.

Put a potty at the corner of the room tell her to try for a wee when she takes her nappy off a towel and a disposable bedmat under the towel and see how she goes

Oh she does have a potty

I'd be annoyed at the nappy being taken off rather than the actual weeing. My DD was 3 in January and is dry in the day but we put her in pull ups at night which are harder to remove than nappies. She usually wets but we're not in a rush because we don't have an upstairs loo and I wouldn't want her going downstairs on her own anyway. We're moving soon hopefully.

She is probably humiliated if you call it a 'nappy' at 4 years old!! It could be because she is too hot or uncomfortable in it.Does she know she is taking it off or doing it in her sleep?
I would double sheet the bed with a waterproof layer in the middle or just lay yer on one of those pampers bedmats.If she wees she would be old enough to peel off one layer herslf I think with practice.

Put the pull up on after she is asleep. Get the Pampers night ones if you can. Mine has just stopped night wetting at 4.5. Is she constipated? That can make it worse as the mass presses on the bladder. Also double make the bed and use the disposable bed mats in between sheets. She will stop when she is ready.

As pp said this need to be her problem to solve. I suggest that in the morning she has to sort out the wet sheets and pjs etc which might mean there isn't time for the park or something more enjoyable. Which of course could be avoided if she kept her pull up on...

Obviously you would be there, she wouldn't have to scrub the sheets before I get flamed but she does need to see there is a consequence for this.

YANBU, bed wetting isn't a problem but her refusing to help to manage it is.

Lifting is a small effort, but totally worth it. Mine are three and four and my youngest has been out of nappies at night since two - we've saved a fortune and have a special weeing prompt (I say Pssssht and they wee night or day).

Bit of duct tape over the many tabs worked for us. Dt1 has finally grown out of taking it off at night! Conversely dt2. (Identical) has been dry at night since she was 2.5 and they are now 4.5.

Thanks for all your suggestions. I have tried asking her about it and I think she just wants to be a big girl, but we are talking masses of wee at 1am so I don't think she could make it through. Will look for some different pullup pants and try to sell her on them, or failing that will try a onesies or swimsuit. I usually refer to it as a bum, rather than nappy, but have moved to nappies ATM in the hope it would be harder to pull off.

It may also be part of general jealousy of her sister (2) who has just potty trained herself (daytime only) and so it might be one-upmanship in that respect. I just don't think she is ready in terms of bladder control.

Thanks again for all the advice

Taking up maydancer's point, we used to call the pull-ups our DC used at night "night-timies", rather than nappies. So, they were called something different to the nappies they had now grown out of for day time.

Did you call her nappies a "bum" when she was littler? Why don't you try giving them a new name, so she dissociates them from what she wore in her baby and toddler days?

OK this is a really yuck suggestion but if her room is a bit chilly, putting the heating up a bit might allow her to sleep through even though she's wet the bed?

You're all judging me now. I can feel the stares. I don't care . Mine are the same age as the OPs and they sleep through all nappy malfunctions which is fine by me. DD2 has even been known to puke up without fully waking...

My son aged 4 does the same but usually early morning. I think at some point in the night he does a pee and then finds the nappy bulky so it comes off and at 4.30-5 am we get a wet bed. I don't feel my ds is consciously removing the nappy, I think he is half asleep, so I can't really be mad about it.