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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why people pick a nickname for their child?

124 replies

HackerFucker22 · 02/03/2016 22:28

As in "baby is called Alexander, nn John" facetious example

I see it all the time here. You give your baby a name and any nn develop organically I'm sure?

If you want to call your child Eliza then name her that. Not Elizabeth nn Eliza.

Sorry to the poster whom I am dissing, I love Eliza and I love Elizabeth but baby only really needs one name.

OP posts:

calamityjam · 02/03/2016 23:12

I did exactly what op stated that she dislikes. I had 2 Ds's and was over the moon to be having a girl. I wanted a really girly girl name to call her so chose Ellie, however I also wanted her to have a proper name as I saw Ellie as more of a petname so I chose Eloise. As it happens she hates Eloise so chooses to go by Ellie. She may wish to remain as Ellie, but she also has the option to use her formal name. I don't see the issue at all.

JassyRadlett · 02/03/2016 23:13

I'm extremely glad that my parents gave me the full version of my name, even though they called me by the shortened version from day 1, pretty much.

MattDillonsPants · 02/03/2016 23:13

Alis Ah...so you want Freddie but hate Frederick...why not choose David but with nn Freddie?

midsomermurderess · 02/03/2016 23:13

I agree. Some people here agonise over a name, it mustn't be in the top ten and then they don't want to use it. I know someone who always loved Rebecca and that was the name she gave her daughter but she's Becky. I also think that often nicknames develop organically.

MattDillonsPants · 02/03/2016 23:15

Calamity I think it's to do with conviction. Like...you loved the name Ellie...but didn't have the conviction to name her that. Ellie is accepted as a real name...people won't judge because a child is called Elllie or Meg or any other name that's actually a derivative. They just accept it.

Jesabel · 02/03/2016 23:16

My kids are called Betsy and Kitty (for example) but they are named Elizabeth and Katherine on their birth certificates. Seems normal to me.

DonkeyOaty · 02/03/2016 23:17

In the same vein - friends were very rejecting of nicknames and huffy about diminution so, deliberately chose a name that could not be shortened (think Tom/Jack)

But now they call the child by a doubling of the name (TomTom/JackJack)

Lurkedforever1 · 02/03/2016 23:18

Yabu. I think it's quite logical to have the full name on the birth certificate and then use the short. That way the child can use the full name if they want when they're adult.

Think a lot of nn's come about themselves anyway. Dd's came about because it's is how she (and other small dc) used to mispronounce her full name. And it just stuck. However since she's got older the full name with some obvious abbreviation on occasion has taken over.

SaggingTits · 02/03/2016 23:21

I know what you mean. My DB is Benjamin, NN Ben. Nobody has called him Benjamin, ever. This thread has actually just reminded me that he has a 'real' name . No idea why our parents didn't just call him Ben.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 02/03/2016 23:23

I called my child a shortening, but the full name is on his birth certificate in case he decides to use it when he's older. It really isn't a big deal.

SaggingTits · 02/03/2016 23:23

And to the posted who's friends daughter is called Moo. My friend calls her daughter (Beth) Boo. Drives me insane!

marshmallowpies · 02/03/2016 23:26

The thing is, I think you'll never know how you actually feel about it until you hear your DC being called by a NN, or when it happens to you yourself. My name has a very obvious 'short' version (the name chopped in half), and at school I was usually called by that name - I didn't mind much either way - but later on when I was working I had a proper 'office nickname' variant which caught on and everybody on my team used it. And it made me feel like one of the in-crowd and I loved it. But if someone I didn't consider a close workmate used that name - I hated it. If they put it in an email in a faux-buddy way I always responded with my full name. Why on earth did it bother me so much? I still don't know, but somehow it did.

The same thing has happened with one of my DDs - we have given them both NN which DH and I use, on and off, interchangeably with their real names, but a friend has come up with her own variant on one of the NN which she always calls her by. I always cringe inwardly but of course don't say anything - totally pointless thing to be bothered about, but somehow a name being used that isn't the one we chose irritates me! I guess more of the same thing will happen later on when they get into teenage years - I just have to live with it.

Dontlaugh · 02/03/2016 23:27

All of my family had their christenings paid for (my mum often reminds us).
We all have NNs
MN would not be happy, as the NNs relate to personality rather than names, if that makes sense.
They have stuck to this day.
I have the loveliest name (think Royal in Waiting) but the most tragic nickname. I truly don't mind/care!

calamityjam · 02/03/2016 23:27

I actually think it's to do with your own perception of names. In my case I had always loved the sound of the name Ellie but for some reason I personally felt it should be a pet name and therefore needed a formal name for it to come from. I have no problem with people who name their child Ellie or Millie or Tilly as their formal name, but it was what felt right to me at that time.

Peasandsweetcorn · 02/03/2016 23:32

I have a name which has a number of common shortenings. Childhood friends use one; university friends another; colleagues my long name. This never seems to cause me or them any problems. I have had a variety of nicknames throughout my life, some polite, some not so, some from affection, some from bullying. Again, it has never caused confusion. The difference is that I wouldn't introduce myself or sign off an email by a nickname.

Sleepingtom · 02/03/2016 23:33

I find it odd that there are so many threads on here about being perplexed about it. It's pretty normal and always has been.

Shemozzle · 02/03/2016 23:34

Longer version gives you and the child more options.

I adore the name Hattie. But I also really like Harriet so if I ever used it it would make sense to use Harriet so then we could use both names. I really don't like Harry or Haz, so I would choose my preferred nickname and tell everyone that.

One of my dd's has a long Greek name that is a mouthful and some people think beautiful and others hideous and harsh sounding. I like the message in the Greek classic it comes from. It has an unusual cutesy nickname taken from that full name, when she was born we announced as 'long Greek name: nn ...' At home we call her both names and some other nicknames. Everyone else calls her by the announced nn. I love that she has so many options, and a more interesting name, and if she doesn't like the cutesy nickname when she's older OR the full version then there are a couple of options to make a common nickname using her full. If we'd just named her the short version we'd be cutting out her options and there would be no history to her name.

PiperChapstick · 02/03/2016 23:42

YANBU.

This may out me, but I was part of a first time mum's group when DD was born, and a lady had a daughter named Elizabeth (gorgeous!) who they decided to call/nn Lix (pronounced licks) - WTF! All I could ever think was 'a cat Lix it's bum'. I don't really know how they got there from Elizabeth.

Anyway the natural progression of the group meant it was kinda split into groups and I didn't see this woman from when DD was about 5 months old. Fast forward 2 years and I'm in a soft play and hear a woman shouting at a little girl who she called 'Elizabeth'. I looked and thought "I know that child" - and yes it was Lix!

I chatted with the mum for a bit and said "I can't believe how big Lix is now!" And she replied "actually we call her Elizabeth" serves you right for being a clever arse with nicknames

Shemozzle · 02/03/2016 23:43

marshmallow I also have a full name that was very popular when I was born and it was just cut in half to make a common nickname. I never liked the full or short. But at a bar job at 18 someone took the middle of my name and made a weird nickname from that, and that stuck in a group of friends. I don't mind certain people calling me that, but as dp introduced me with my nickname I now have some in laws and mum friends that call me it and I can't stand it! I have tried correcting to no avail. Dp can't get his head round me not liking certain people calling me it.

Outaboutnowt · 02/03/2016 23:44

I know what you mean, I totally understand shortening Benjamin to Ben etc and understand the parents wanting a full name on the birth certificate.
What I don't understand is the nn being a random name. For example I know a Sarah, whose nn is Ellen, and her parents have called her Ellen from birth (it's not her middle name either). She feels weird if anyone calls her Sarah, for example name called out in doctors because no one calls her Sarah. I don't get why they bothered with Sarah at all, and I think she is going to change it officially as she doesn't identify with it.

I can't talk about nicknames though, DS's nn is Cheeky I don't even like it, it just stuck when we used to call him cheeky monkey in a silly voice when he was a baby!

Fatmomma99 · 02/03/2016 23:44

I don't see Rob for Robert, Ben for Benjamin, Becky/Becca for Rebecca as being nicknames. They are shortened versions of a name (and often quicker/easier to say).

My name is 4 letters which can't be shortened (eg "Fred") but can be lengthened ("Freddie"). I don't like the lengthened version of my name - it sounds horribly cutsie to me, but as it takes more effort to add the syllable, I take it as a compliment, assume the person saying it likes me, and never complaint.

I am occasionally asked "were you Christened "Frederick"?" to which I always respond "actually, I wasn't Christened, but it says "Fred" on my birth certificate".

I was always so jealous of people who had names you could do things with - the Elizabeths (Liz, Lizzie, Beth), Rebeccas (Bec, Becca, Becky, Rebeck), et al. I always swore I'd give any child of mine a choice.

We named her "Fred". I feel so guilty, but I love name.

I gave birth to her at about 4pm, so ended up staying overnight in hospital. Like most, not much sleep was had, so when we got home the next day, DH (who was desperate for it) had some 1:1 time with her and I went and had some sleep. When he woke me up to feed her, he said "her name is "Baby xxx"", so we called her "Baby xxx" for quite some time and now we call her "xxx". ONLY we do this, despite friends and family hearing us call her xxx. I love her name, and I love that we call her xxx as well. She's 14 now.

flightywoman · 02/03/2016 23:46

My sister is called Imogen. Obviously she gets called Imo or Im quite a lot as short forms of her name. But she also has a host of nicknames including:
Bim
Bimbi
Bimb
Bimmer
Bumper
Beano
Bundle
Bumpy
Bum
Binker

It's just whatever slips out at the point of speaking to her and has been going on all her life. My mum never said "I like the nickname Bimmer, what shall I call my child"! Nicknames are weird organic things that happen, I see them as separate to shortened names...

m0therofdragons · 02/03/2016 23:47

My dd3 us Kitty... She's Kitty on her birth certificate. According to mn she'll never be a high court judge as it's not a proper name. Er yes it is and has been recognised as such since the 16th century. My great aunt shared the name. We couldn't go with a longer alternative as we couldn't risk her ending up being Katie (a close relative who died very tragically in her teens).
Overall though we chose it because we love it.
Essentially I'm saying, everyone has their reasons and getting annoyed about other people's choices seems a bit bonkers to me.

Broken1Girl · 02/03/2016 23:50

Shemozzle, there are some lovely Greek names, but can imagine the hassle. Too many Brits can't cope with a funny furrin name, let alone one of more than 2 syllables.
I know a Penelope, who despises being Penny, yet people always do it.

SuburbanRhonda · 02/03/2016 23:52

I think some people are missing the point of the OP.

It's not that nick names are bad or inadvisable or anything. It's just odd that people post "we''re calling her xx, nick name x" rather than waiting to see whether (a) a nick name develops at all or (b) if it does, whether it's that one or another one.

I've only ever seen this trend on MN and to me it seems overly controlling.

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