All your Tesco Clubcard points add up...

[montymum]

AIBU to want to shout 'No shit Sherlock' everytime the self service check out at Tesco makes this unnecessary statement. I have no idea why it infurriates me so much but it does. Is it just me?

[PrimalLass]

For us they have added up to flights, two sofas, an XBox one and lots of Pizza Express.

[RatOnnaStick]

Tesco volume control is at the bottom of the screen. One tap takes it to full volume, two taps mutes the bugger. Do it before you start.

You can just about make it out in this picture.

[acatcalledjohn]

My issue are the new Morrissons self service checkouts. I may have responded to it out loud on more than one occasion

"Surprising item on the scale" (that alone had me )
"Hardly surprising, they are only effing strawberries!"

[CakeNinja]

I gave up on the clubcard.
I had one, set it up over 10 years ago. Stopped shopping at tesco after getting maybe £50 in points that I never used as I didn't really understand how.
Restarted shopping there and tried to log into my account online to do online shopping. Forgot password, got in touch with them and they helpfully reset my details and when I logged back in they had taken away all my bloody points
Don't use them at all anymore, use ocado with no points scheme whatsoever but at least I don't feel robbed

[montymum]

So pleased I am not alone. Was worried maternity leave had sent me loopy. The sainsbury machines are my friend at the moment as the keep churning out bonus points. We don't shop enough at Tesco for our points to add up to much.

[EsmesBees]

I wonder what it does if all your club card points don't add up? I mean, what action could you possibly take following that information??

[SouthWestmom]

My points are crap. Tesco petrol, Tesco groceries, yet all I ever get is about £25 a year (save for Xmas)

[StealthPolarBear]

Yes thay does sound like something you'd say in marriage counselling. "I acknowledge that you are hurt by my actions"

[OhSoggyBiscuit]

I love the Boots ones. "Card acknowledged." Yeah, thanks. I'm so glad you accept the presence of my advantage card, rude cow machine.

[scrappydappydoo]

I got told off for turning down the volume - apparently it is mostly turned off by shoplifters. I just said it stopped me turning violent.

[InTheTeapot]

Volume button is one of three on front of machine and has a volume symbol on it! Press repeatedly to quieten or indeed make REALLY LOUD!
Other buttons are scale reset button and something else I can't recall.

[Loula117]

The one that really irritates me is the ticket printing machine at Vue cinemas, when you've booked your tickets online and need to pick them up. You start off with a woman's voice telling you nicely to insert your credit card, she's saying something else and then a louder BLOKE'S voice interrupts and bellows "printing your tickets now!". It's like he has to come along and take over from the little woman. Gives me the rage!

[StealthPolarBear]

:o
I'll just get "ten bars of chocolate scanned successfully" in a professional, tight-lipped yet disapproving way.

[Bulletpr00f]

Where is the volume option!!!??? This could honestly be one of those mumsnet tips that changes my life.

[YakTriangle]

Stealth
I'm half expecting the voice to say 'Are you SURE you want that?' next time I scan some cakes.

[Haudyerwheesht]

I noticed this today funnily enough and thought they were going to say a total but they didn't and so it was basically stating the bloody obvious'

[StealthPolarBear]

Yak you may be taking this a little personally

[JakeyB]

I never felt I wanted to answer back when it was the woman's voice (Nippy Nora, the local Tesco staff called her), but the guy drives me nuts! They call him Nicer Nigel but I find him very patronising, and yes, I do swear at him when he says that!

I also tell him to Fuck Off when he tells you to find your items "or have a browse". Why the fuck would you have a browse at the checkout with a queue of people impatiently waiting their turn? That's what the aisles are for. I'm getting riled just thinking about it!

You are definitely not alone, OP!

[NeedMoreSleepOrSugar]

hang on, there's a volume control? where? why have i not seen this? I HATE those bloomin machines yelling at me! I'm off to Tesco to turn them all down as low as possible as my good deed for the day :)

[YakTriangle]

I always feel irritated by the smugness of the voice that says 'have you swiped your Nectar card?' on Sainsburys self service tills. Yes I have actually. So don't imply that I don't have enough sense to remember, you judgmental syrupy voiced trout.

[vulgarbunting]

I am SO GLAD someone else gets driven mad by this. It is the nost ridiculously stupid phrase, and whoever thought of it needs to be fired.

[StealthPolarBear]

Yes day they always make an attempt to look impressed too.
ooh look you get 10 extra point when you buy cheese!!

[StealthPolarBear]

Why do I need to press ok to say I've swiped my sparks card? You've just ac knowledge the swipe of my sparks card not get sodding on with it. I look forward to receiving 10% off girls tights aged 4-5 when I buy three pairs of boys' trousers (brown) age 13 -14 to be spent in the next 6 days.

[Mango5000]

They have adjustable volume??
I need to try this. Give me the rage every time!