Mothers day help needed

[DaddyDr]

I guess I'm only posting here for footfall, so please bare with me.

I've never celebrated the likes of Valentine's day with my wife, we've been together 15 years married 9, and it's not something that's ever been an issue. I see it as a complete waste of time, I don't require a day to tell my wife I love her, I try show and tell her that everyday especially if I want a new computer game

Anyway, I thought the same applied to mother's day and father's day. Again I see them as pointless. So last year I didn't do anything for mothers day. (We have a 2yo) 5 weeks ago my wife gave birth to our daughter so now we have a 2yo and a 5wk old, and my wife has now said how hurt she was I didn't do anything for mothers day last year. So now I feel like a complete ar5e haven't not even given it a 2nd thought. I still think it's silly, but if she doesn't then that's fine.

So now I want to do something for her this year, last night I sat up laye making a card that im going to put a photo of the children in and get the eldest to scribble on it. But is this enough? When she says she would like something does she mean a gift? Or just the thought? I've seen a pottery place near by that does kids crafts that I was thinking about taking them to and getting them to make something. Is that to over the top?

Really confused as to what's expected. What would you people want and think is a nice thing from a person that's never bothered with anything like this before?

[MLGs]

The main thing I think is to give her a lie-in. A proper one, not one where she gets to "go back to bed" after being woken or where the older kid keeps running upstairs every five minutes.

Everything else is an extra!

[dustarr73]

Well what i do for Mothers Day,i go out wiht my friends.When my mam was alive i used to bring her out.Dp had the kids and he done the same for Fathers Day.

This year im going to Benidorm for 4 days and i cant wait.

[specialsubject]

mother's day does have religious roots, I suppose. But you have to be quite suckered in to pay the massive price premium for things that will be cheaper on the next day.

you show your worth every day of the year. Pink padded cards and wasteful packaged chocolate is not worth.

get the kids to make a card, and perhaps bring a treat of tea in bed or something. Being 'extra helpful' with housework should be done every day.

[Flingingmelon]

My DH did this in year one. In year two he asked what I wanted which left me a bit meh. I got flowers and eventually after much nudging he made dinner.

This year I have asked for him to be 'mum' for the day. Which means he cooks the breakfast and Sunday lunch, does the bath, DS's snacks and the pooey nappy.

I'm really looking forward to it.

So I'd suggest, along with the card (which sounds lovely) give your DW a rest and you'll be fine

[toastedbeagle]

My DH always takes me away for the weekend for Mothers's Day to a nice hotel with a spa. Works for me!
This year the "hotel" has become Centre Parcs but at least there's
still a spa!

[DaddyDr]

• dustarr73
  
  And let her have the remote for thetelly.Itis Mothers Day*
  
  That's just going toooooo far.
  
  I've booked a table at the pottery place for Saturday, the person on the phone sounded great and told me she has some great ideas I could try, so put my mind at rest somewhat.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

pottery handprints sounds good.

plus photo card, and a bit of special treatment.

[luckiestgirlintheworld]

My favourite Mother's Day present was when DH took DS (18 months at the time) to one of those pottery places, and they made a tea towel by painting his feet and getting him to walk on it.
I loved that they'd done it all as a surprise: they did it a few days before and had washed off all the paint properly etc so it was a lovely surprise that they'd done this this without me.
I recommend you do that!

[HumptyDumptyBumpty]

Sounds like you're pretty thoughtful/do your share ordinarily, OP, so you're well qualified to think of something.

If she's knackered, a proper lie in, with breakfast when she naturally wakes would go down a treat. If the house is tidy when she gets up, even better
Can you get a mobile beauty therapist (Return to Glory do at home treatments) to come and give her a massage/manicure?

DH lets our DD (2.1) choose something for me for birthday/Christmas/Mothering Sunday etc - usually makes me smile, as her ideas are pretty left-field (nice cushion, because she likes building dens out of cushions with me; pasta (yes, really), because she loves it, chocolate cupcake with chocolate buttons on that she nicked, etc), but it's the effort of taking her shopping and the funny side of her choices.

[dustarr73]

I think the pottery is really lovely.If you don't want to cook,order a takeaway. And let her have the remote for the telly.It is Mothers Day

[decisionsdecisions123]

How can you think that getting the children to paint a pottery piece is over the top?

Does she like jewellery? Would she like on of those necklaces where you can get a piece of the childrens art work engraved on it or something similar? Why don't you have a look on Etsy?

Is it really that difficult to think of some ideas??

[Noodledoodledoo]

Just to add a conflicting view - I tell my husband not to buy me flowers on the key dates as the prices are stupid. However he does by me flowers all year round, nothing flash just supermarket ones most weeks and always tries to get my favourites. I did get some roses for Valentines but that's because I was shopping with him and the price wasn't stupid - we didn't do any presents at all as money is tight currently but did do cards.

I would personally hate to be left to have time alone on Mothers Day - I can see the sentiment but its a day to celebrate being a Mother and its a bittersweet day for me as my mum has died so time alone would not be a good thing!

A small thoughtful gift is much more than the generic ones, I have a key ring which just says Love you mummy from xxxxx it doesn't have to be flashy to make an impact.

[Junosmum]

that should say I'm female, I'm not a lady, I have no title!

[Junosmum]

I'm a lady, and I hate valentines day, I think it is a silly, pointless, greeting card holiday, but each to their own and all that. BUT I'd be really upset if my husband didn't do something for Mothers day. This will be my first mothers day (DS will be 9 weeks old). I'm expecting a card 'from' DS and some chocolates or bubble bath. I don't want loads, just an acknowledgement.

[Pippa12]

The pottery idea is nice but you will have to be quick if you want to do that to give it time to set. I got my DH a ceremic plate with hand and foot print on- he loved it. Something personal from the kids is your best bet for browning points, and if your budget allows, something off you to say thanks. Flowers, massage, chocs, perfume, meal out, voucher etc. Also, don't forget to get her a wife card.

My husband had a brain fart the year my DD was born. He bought me 4 cath kidston cups, nice but odd present. I thanked him but asked what made him buy me those, his reply- 'because when my mum comes for a brew she says our cups are too big' it must have been the sleepless nights and we laugh about it now, but at the time I was abit !

What does she do for Father's Day? Perhaps that would give you an idea of her expectations?

[penelopewellingdon]

don't have lunch out.

it's madly busy that day and often overpriced, and given your dislike of 'forced' celebrations, you might find it very hard to enjoy.

make lunch for everyone at home, maybe buy a nice selection of adult treats from the deli?

agree with others saying, it's about the gesture. Letting her know she is appreciated and can have a special day.

[SaucyJack]

I don't think it really matters what you do, as long as you do something.

Card/flowers/Lunch out/Get your toddler to take her a plastic plate of toast in bed/whatevs really.

Most people are not divas, and just want a gesture to mark the occasion.

[dinkystinky]

You have a 5 week old child - doing something nice for your wife as person, rather than a mother, might be nice. So you and your eldest child giving her breakfast in bed, with a flower (real or paper one) and the card from your children, followed by letting her have a lie in with the papers (if she likes that) while you look after the baby might be nice.

[FeralBeryl]

TooMuch

Agree that it should be something your wife would like rather than generic shite. When I receive any kind of gifts, I love them to be things that I'd really like, but couldn't justify buying for myself-ridiculously overpriced candles, poncey make up - I'm looking at you Mrs Gloss, books, music tickets, spa treatments, or more recently, diamanté dust caps for my car tyres
I think it should simply be a day that says 'see you, well we think you're FANTASTIC we do'

[BlueJug]

I agree with you OP - it is crap. I never wanted anything and saw it all as a lot of commercialised rubbish and waste of time/money. HOWEVER your wife thinks differently so good for you to try to make her happy with this.

For Mother's day involving the children is key. The card is a good idea and in future years a card made with them is the answer. Also take them to choose flowers for her and get them to actively understand what she does for them and that it is her special day.

Presents - flowers etc. I wouldn't go down the whole scarves/perfume route - it is supposed to be about the kids.

[TooMuchOfEverything]

There is no point asking people who don't know your wife what she'd like. DH once bought me a she wee for an anniversary- it was exactly the best most thoughtful present ever.

[megganonion]

Whatever you do will be special. Most mums just want to no they are loved and respected. It's not about the cost. Just show her u love her

[Bonywasawarriorwayayix]

Can you ask her what she would like? DH and I always talk about our expectations for 'significant' dates. It really helps.

If not, I'd go for breakfast in bed, flowers/chocolates/small gift you know she'd like and anything you all enjoy as a family which can be done with minimal effort in her part. And some time to herself during the day.

Could you do a card with your 5 week old's footprints on as well as the toddler scribbles?

[lilone1234]

The handmade card sounds really nice. I'm on the side of PP who would rather breakfast in bed to a posh candle! Being mother to young children is very relentless and the children are too young to show appreciation so that's why you need to be doing something on their behalf.

[yorkshapudding]

I don't think it necessarily needs to be a 'gift' but any gesture that makes her feel that she is appreciated. This could be cooking her a nice meal once the kids are in bed, taking them both out for the day so she can have some time to herself..anything that you think she would enjoy or find relaxing.

I know some people think it's too generic and unimaginative but I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with going down the traditional flowers/chocolates route, depending on your partners tastes. DH knows I love having fresh flowers in the house but would never think to treat myself to them, same with posh chocolates, so I'm happy to receive them as gifts for valentines/mothers day.