To leave a bf two year old for 14-15 hours?

[ArriettyMatilda]

I've got a hen do coming up in a couple of months that will be about an hours drive away. It's an all day activity followed by an evening of food and drink, which is not at all unreasonable. When dd was just over one I had a similar day and so I came back to feed her before the evening bit. I'm wondering if I could leave her all day without worrying about feeding her. Currently she feeds on waking, before nap, briefly after nap and then before sleeping at night and a couple of times through the night. I happily leave her all day if I need to, but I've never missed the bedtime feed.

I'm concerned she be really unsettled and confused about where I'm the milk gone. Has anyone got any past experience of leaving a bf toddler without milk for the first time? Is there any way I can prepare her? Will I need to express in the evening? The first few times I left her in the day I was uncomfortable by about 5pm, but that's not so bad now even though she feeds in the day. And finally am I being pfb?

[ArriettyMatilda]

I'm so happy to hear lots of others have managed this successfully. It's only because it'll be the first time that makes me worried but as a pp suggested perhaps I could try another night when I'm close by just so dp can see how he'll cope. I'm certainly not going to wean prematurely for the purpose of a night out when so many of you have managed similar.

I've accepted that I have less freedom as a mother, it comes with the job title! I really do appreciate that each time we feed to sleep it could be the last time and I think it's just so bloody lovely that dd gets to fall asleep with cuddles and a tummy full of warm milk. As she gets older I get more freedom, but also more tempted to have another! Sorry went off on a tangent there, but felt the need to explain why I'm not pushing dd to wean before she is ready. This works for my family, others do what works for theirs.

[nutellacrumpet]

I am bfing a 2 yo and my 4yo only weaned very recently before her last birthday.

I have left them both for long periods of time. They both only seem fussed about bfing if I am about. Otherwise they just seem to forget about it and are happy to have just food and drink. Enjoy your day out.

[MrsMook]

DS1 weaned down to just a bed time feed around his 1st birthday, so expecting similar from DS2 when I made plans to go away for 4 days at the same age. It turned out that he was a milk fiend. Although he happily managed without feeds in the day when I went to work suddenly at 10 months, on my days at home he still had regular feeds and still fed at night.

He managed fine in my absence. I suffered from engorgment. He happily accepted no mummy = no milk.

When I got home, he immediately launched at me to resume business.

I'd learned from DS1 that supply holds on for some time by that age.

[AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads]

My DS doesn't have any other sleep props either to go to sleep, yet still manages to go to sleep fine without me with some cuddles.

Take some breast pads! I haven't leaked for ages but after a night away from DS I did need to root some breast pads out.

[Lindy2]

She might take longer to settle to sleep but she will be fine.
You probably won't need to express but it might be an idea to have a pump tucked away somewhere if possible, just in case. You don't want to start to feel uncomfortable or be worried about leaks whilst you are out.

[5madthings]

Another one who has bfed a toddler but gone away and it been fine. I actually went away for a weekend when bfeeding mine as toddlers and they wrre fine with dh.

I did have to hand express a little bit so I was comfortable but I did just enough to take the edge off and toddler fed as soon as I arrived home.

Enjoy your trip op.

[wigglybeezer]

I did it, it was fine, APART from DS3 climbing into bed with my mother, lifting her nightie up and announcing "time for boobie milk now Granny", thus furnishing me with an anecdote to embarrass him for life!

[AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads]

My almost two year old will settle fine for other people as long as I'm not there. He knows that I'm the one with the milk . I've never pumped when I've been away from either of my kids and everything was fine. Got a little uncomfortable towards the end.

When you come back, however, she may not leave you alone for a few hours!

[Hufflepuffin]

I left my bfing 18 month old for the first overnight (for two nights!), I was sure he'd be a mess but he was fine and has slept better ever since.

I had a hand pump to keep me comfortable. If you don't already have one then this one would be good for going in a handbag http://m.boots.com/h5/cathub?unCountry=uk&path=/en/Nuby-Natural-Touch-Express-Manual-Breast-Pumpp_1113797/

[AnotherStitchInTime]

She will be fine. I regularly leave my bf 2 year old for 14 hours + when working long day or night shifts. He just accepts that it is not on offer when I am not there.

[Newmanwannabe]

I left DS at 2 1/2 for 5 days, He was breast feeding mainly just once at night before bed. The odd one at rare times through the night, day time only if he was unwell. He was fine, didn't fret (but he's not a fretful child anyway) , I didn't need to express, and then when I came back he just went straight back to breast feeds like there was never a break (we thought it might have stopped him breast feeding...). He was breast fed until three, it just gradually became a don't offer, don't refuse sort of thing...

[browneyedgirl1974]

I am still feeding my 3 year old. I have twice been away for 2 nights and we just carried on when we got back. The 1st time I had to pump but not the 2nd. I am sure everything will be fine.

[mrtwitsglasseye]

She will be fine. I fed my daughter until she was 2.5 but from about 16 months I occasionally went away overnight (so away for day + night + day) - she was fine, didn't even ask for milk while I was gone, I hand expressed for comfort and fed her as normal on return.

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

More reassurance from me. I fed DS2 until he was 2.4. On the odd occasion that I wasn't around at bedtime he settled fine for DH.

[StitchesInTime]

DS2 is 29 months and breastfeeds. He likes to breastfeed first thing in the morning and at bedtime. If we're having a quiet day at home, he also likes to have a feed lots several times throughout the day.

But, when he's having a day at nursery, or a busy day out and about, he can go without BF quite happily. If I'm out in the evening and someone else puts him to bed, then he settles well for bed without BF - presumably because it's me he associates with BF, so if daddy or granny puts him to bed, he's not expecting to have any BF so isn't upset by it not being offered.

I did worry the first time I was away for bedtime, but DS2 was absolutely fine about it.

[SecretSpy]

My toddler regularly went 48 or more hrs away from me from about 18m onwards and just resumed feeding each time. As long as they're with someone you are totally happy with, it will probably be fine 😀

[Booboostwo]

I've left both of my DCs in similar circumstances and they were both fine as they don't associate bf with DH. She'll be fine, go have fun.

[LeanneBattersby]

I've fed all my children until they were 3 and from about the age of 18 months I've been able to go out for long days, then full nights and eventually weekends without them really noticing. I usually bed share with them so they just share with my husband instead and they've been fine. I understand why you're worried as I was too the first time I left them but I think you'll be shocked by how well yours copes.

Good luck and enjoy your day out.

[CesareBorgiasUnicornMask]

I'm still feeding my 18 month old and when I'm at home he demands 'boooooooob' loudly and insistently on a regular basis. When I'm at uni and he's at nursery or with DH he isn't bothered and goes down to nap without it. Your DD will be fine. Just be careful you don't get a blocked duct if you usually feed every few hours!

[PurpleCrazyHorse]

She might be upset at bedtime, or she might not. You could try going out one night at bedtime and just see how she is with whoever is putting her to bed, that way you could work on bedtime with a beaker/bottle occasionally so the hen night is a success (and you'd have less worries about her not settling).

I'm off for the day in March leaving a 9mo alone with DH. DS is EBF and just started weaning and I'm sure it'll be a bit traumatic. However, it's only one day and TBH I really need a day where I'm me, not mummy, not boobs, just me. I'll have to pump at lunchtime I think but even if DS cries all day (unlikely) he will be fine. Sometimes, it's good to get out.

[OhShutUpThomas]

I'd be weaning her anyway, as she's 2 years old. This will give you some freedom back.

Judgey much?

There's nothing weird about feeding a 2 year old, it's perfectly natural. If OP wanted to stop, I'm sure she's aware that she could. We all have different priorities and OP obviously enjoys the comfort she gives to her daughter.

Bloody hate this attitude towards breastfeeding toddlers.

[CeeceeBloomingdale]

She (sadly) probably won't care as much as you. Both of mine weaned at around two years, if I was available they would demand but didn't give a fig on the nights I was at work . Get yourself away and enjoy!