AIBU to object to these sex education sessions?

[balletgirlmum]

Had a letter from school informing me that the as part of phase children will be getting a some relationships & sex education sessions. Standard type of letter I've had them before.

Except this time the sessions will be delivered by the area Schools Christian worker. Further googling informs me he/she is employed by Scripture Union.

At the very least I feel I should ask the content & viewpoint that will be presented.

AIBU to object to this?

A woman's breasts should be a playground for her husband.
Where in the Bible does it say this?
OT, probably Proverbs.

Jasper where did you read this about Oasis? They are a huge chain of academies and my children currently go to one, no issues with him sex ed is delivered and I've never heard of them delivering sex ed to other schools either, it's all in house.

OP YANBU. I would be asking to see the lesson content, which is your right.

OP have you asked your child if they know the person leading the lesson and/or what they think of the assemblies?

I don't know if the same person leading the assemblies will be doing the sessions. I suspect not as assembly person is the area high school worker & there is a separate sex ed worker listed on the website.

Assembly person is apparently very nice but talks a lot of religious nonsense. He assumes all his audience believe in Jesus wheras my child calls Jesus & God "fictional deities"

Probably Song of Songs/Solomon, no?

So many people on here saying that sex education lessons should be non-biased and non-judgemental. But I'm not sure what that would look like.

Because there are judgements to be made when it comes to sex. Especially school-age kids negotiating sex.

I mean, when ABetaDad says "It happened in my children's private school with charity groups coming in and also a lot of 'climate change campaign' and 'animal charity types' having access facilitated by certain teachers that had a close connection to the groups pushing a certain skewed message."

... I think, well that sounds all right, to have climate change campaigners in school. But then I realise it sounds all right to me because I believe in those campaigns. I'm just one person.

I presume there's a baseline of things that most MN'ers would agree they'd want their kids to be taught, and several things they certainly would not want raised in sex education lessons. But I bet once we listed those things, there would be many people who would quibble over some of them.

Especially when it comes to the emotions and the gender differences connected with sex.

What would we all agree on?

Sex education should include:

• Sex before marriage is fine and normal
• Masturbation is good for you
• Detailed biological anatomical understanding is important
• Homosexuality is not the norm,but it is normal and legal
• Abortion should be safe, legal and rare?

Sex education should not include:

There are judgements to be made when it comes to sex. There are things that are right, and things that are wrong. But won't those be different, depending on what kind of values we have?

I'm not explaining myself very well.

If the group doing them is already doing very evangelical sessions in school already, particularly as it's not an evangelical school, I would be worried about the sex ed sessions but also about the sessions in general.

I'd use the letter as a prompt to ring/email the head to find out exactly what is going on - firstly to find out what the content of the sex ed sessions is going to be and to get positive confirmation that they will not be homophobic or preaching sex after marriage or anything else you're worried about. I'd also be finding out what they do in the rest of the sessions (what does your dd think of them? And are they in class time (ie when you're paying the school to provide educational lessons!) or compulsory etc?)
Depending on these answers but if they do sound like they are using them as an excuse to evangelise or even just groom the kids to be evangelised to later, I'd be asking why they think this is appropriate and trying to get dd out of all their sessions. If they have to go to them, I'd be having plenty of discussions before and after to see what effects these sessions were having on my dd and to help her to see the issues with their explanations and arguments.

It sounds like your child knows what they think and wouldn't have a problem saying so, what is it your worried about?

i can't speak for this group or individual, but the work I did was very focused around getting young people to think for themselves are ask big questions. I loved it when students spoke up and told me their opinions, and I encouraged healthy debate.

withgrace Maybe the OP is not necessarily worried about just her child? Just because we don't think our child would be influenced is it still right to allow people to try? I should state that I am an atheist. I have noticed a lot on here that Christians believe there to be an anti christian rather than anti religion tone to a lot of posts. I think there is a point in that, but that's because more people have interaction with Christianity in this country than other religions. ffiw I am equally opposed to all others too. I also note that the mainly christian response to posters concerns about the constant intrusion of christian (attempted) indoctrination is a question about what it is that we are worried about. It's not a question of being worried per se as far as I am concerned, it's a question of it not being right to allow one group unopposed access to impose their believes on to vulnerable and impressionable people.

Believers will obviously not see anything wrong in what they are saying and would argue that they are simply giving information and setting a moral tone for society. Morals and values are not wholly exclusive of religious organisations or indeed necessarily always in place within those organisations/individuals.

I appreciate that it may be difficult for teachers to always remain unbiased and not give their own beliefs when teaching lessons. they are however paid and therefore accountable to their employer for their actions within the classroom. "Free" sessions provided by whatever organisation that is providing them are not accountable in the same way and that's why they have no place in formal lessons.

myother

i agree that the Op should be talking to the school if shes worried, i was just asking what shes worried about. Genuine question not trying to minimise.

it's a question of it not being right to allow one group unopposed access to impose their believes on to vulnerable and impressionable people.

As other posters have said, lots of different groups are allowed into schools to give opinions. Its not exclusively christian or religious groups. Part of growing up is learning to listen and understand different viewpoints and critically analyse them.

Believers will obviously not see anything wrong in what they are saying and would argue that they are simply giving information and setting a moral tone for society.

You're making a generalisation here, I personally would never use the word 'moral' ever and have no desire to 'set a moral tone' for anyone.

"Free" sessions provided by whatever organisation that is providing them are not accountable in the same way and that's why they have no place in formal lessons.

This isnt true in my experience. Organisations have to jump through a lot of hoops to be allowed to go into schools, and teachers who book them remain in charge of the lesson and accountable for what is said.

As other posters have said, lots of different groups are allowed into schools to give opinions. Its not exclusively christian or religious groups. Part of growing up is learning to listen and understand different viewpoints and critically analyse them.

That's irrelevant, though. They aren't being asked in to give their views and opinions, so the pupils may critically analyse them and draw their own conclusions. They are being brought in, as far as the pupils are concerned, to teach factual information on a vitally important aspect of life. They aren't coming in to talk about Christian approaches to sex and sexuality; they are coming in to teach Sex Education. OP has said they are a heavily evangelical group. This is unacceptable.

For the record, I am a Christian.

An environmental group being brought in to give their take on the environment is one thing. As long as it's balanced with good science. Having a trip to a church or mosque to meet religious people and get their take on religion; fine by me. And long as it's balanced by knowledge and history.

Having a religious group give their take on sex? Just no.

"As other posters have said, lots of different groups are allowed into schools to give opinions. Its not exclusively christian or religious groups. Part of growing up is learning to listen and understand different viewpoints and critically analyse them."

I don't want my child to have to extract the facts from a whole range of opinions when it comes to sex education. I want the facts to be front and centre.

withgrace I apologise if I read more into your question than was meant, but that is a regular "question" on threads about christianity and it isn't usually framed as a genuine question.

I have no problem with my child being given facts and being able to analyse them. But that is not necessarily the case with the subject matter here. I am sure it isn't a biology lesson here. There will be a huge element of either personal or organisational viewpoint given to the "facts" given.

It's good that you personally have no desire to set the moral tone - that is not a viewpoint that is often taken by others on here or in the general religious populace I can assure you.

I think "the hoops" can very much depend on the school. The head master of my children's school is a practising catholic who used to be a head at a catholic school. I think he tends to be overly generous to allowing Christian organisations access and actively supports organisations related to Christianity than others. For example an "outdoor education and bonding day" was organised with a christian supplier and the children were treated to a sermon and prayer during their lunch break. there are obviously many other non religious organisations that could have run such an event - I suspect the school was given a "special" rate. I've just had my childs report and the Business subject is focusing on charitable organisations - a quick google reveals that they all have christian links.

and if the teacher remains in charge of the lesson and accountable then I see no reason why the teacher isn't presenting the lesson. The person being brought in must be being brought in because they have something specific to offer over and above what a teacher has.....their specific viewpoint perhaps?

I think that the OP's clever child would take any evangelical nonsense with a pinch of salt.

Other youngsters, not so much.

I'd be worried.

They are being brought in, as far as the pupils are concerned, to teach factual information on a vitally important aspect of life. They aren't coming in to talk about Christian approaches to sex and sexuality; they are coming in to teach Sex Education.

I dont think thats necessarily true. If this was the only sex ed fair enough, but the op hasnt said that it is. Thats why the Op needs to ask whats involved.

"agree that the Op should be talking to the school if shes worried, i was just asking what shes worried about. Genuine question not trying to minimise."

The old "oh, where's the harm in a little Christianity?" argument. So frustrating.

Having a religious group give their take on sex? Just no.

Its not a religious group, its a person. A person who may have a different perspective on sex than most teenagers ever get to hear.

I don't want my child to have to extract the facts from a whole range of opinions when it comes to sex education. I want the facts to be front and centre.

I absolutely agree. Facts about contraception etc need to be clear. As I said above, if this is the only sex ed provided thats obviously not acceptable.

"Its not a religious group, its a person. A person who may have a different perspective on sex than most teenagers ever get to hear."

There should not be "perspective" in sex education.

myother thanks, having reread my post, I can see how it came across that way. I'm reasonably new to mumnset so didnt know my question was loaded that way.

Yes, I can see that that head teachers approach is not a good one. Sorry you're dealing with that :(

As for why teachers bring outside speakers in...to make it more interesting for pupils is the main reason. I also think its valuable to see a real person behind a view point, and be able to ask them questions.

Bertrand

I asked that because a lot of posters where suggesting the op withdraw their child from the session, which wont help if her concern is actually for other students IYSWIM?

As i said, I wasnt trying to minimise her concerns.

There should not be "perspective" in sex education.

There are perspectives on sex. There are also facts. Facts should be given objectively, as I've said. Perspectives should be varied, because how else can people decided what they think?

As for why teachers bring outside speakers in...to make it more interesting for pupils is the main reason. I also think its valuable to see a real person behind a view point, and be able to ask them questions.

Yes, but teachers are real people too and are/can be trained to properly deliver the subject and will probably be more familiar with the pupils.

This is the Chester area Scripture Union sex educator's blog and teaching materials

srestuff.blogspot.co.uk/
srestuff.blogspot.co.uk/p/resources-lesson-plans-i-coordinate-sex.html

There seems to be a lot of foaming at the mouth in this thread, I don't see anything wrong with the content at all.