AIBU to object to these sex education sessions?

[balletgirlmum]

Had a letter from school informing me that the as part of phase children will be getting a some relationships & sex education sessions. Standard type of letter I've had them before.

Except this time the sessions will be delivered by the area Schools Christian worker. Further googling informs me he/she is employed by Scripture Union.

At the very least I feel I should ask the content & viewpoint that will be presented.

AIBU to object to this?

[LegoRuinedMyFinances]

How old are the children? If its primary school age I would object and refuse to allow my child to take part of the lesson.

If it were secondary then these children will already (or should know) the basic biology and I would encourage my teen to engage in the debate but to question any homophobia/sexist views of the talk provider, in a polite but adult manner. I would have a talk before hand to my teen and make sure they were able to discuss the matter in depth and with a clear opinion of their own.

It's an ideal age to nurture debate and encourage free thinking about subjects that they may have an opinion on.

The only thing that would give me cause for concern would be having a vulnerable, easily manipulated teen, who may not feel able to challenge the views of people they disagreed with.

[merrymouse]

We mainly talked about consent and the emotional aspects of sex.

Unless the BDSM society (if such a thing exists) really are giving sex ed talks to 11 year olds, this is part of the standard sex ed curriculum.

On the other hand I can think of plenty of 11 year olds who could teach the C if E a thing or two about being comfortable about different kinds of sexuality.

[grannytomine]

At my kids school the sex education sessions were taken by a former teacher who was in some sort of Christian pastoral role. He didn't seem to have any agenda. He had a great relationship with the kids, someone they felt they could go to. Of course that doesn't mean that everyone in his sort of position would be the same but just wanted to say the religious connection doesn't always mean they are going to be what you might expect.

Not unreasonable to find out in my opinion.

[BertrandRussell]

I would need to see all the teaching material before I let my child be taught about sex and relationships by any outside group.

I have always thought this, but even more since ds came home from a moving on day in year 6 that turned out to have been run by a Christian group and which included, along with lots of sensible advice, a significant element of Christian propaganda.

[MarmiteAndButter]

There are many Christians who are firm supporters of LGBT and equal marriage. So YABU if you assume that a Christian would automatically have an agenda against those things.
But YANBU to ask for specific plans and exactly what is being taught. I would also do that.

[balletgirlmum]

My child is 13 & in year 9.

Each year group from year 7-11 is going to have the lessons. The group providing them do regular assemblies in school. They are very evangelical in nature.

[merrymouse]

Is this the only sex ex that they will be getting?

[merrymouse]

Sex ed!

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

Have you contacted the school for a lesson plan?

Or have you already decided that you are going to object because you consider their assemblies to be evangelical and think this will impact on their ability to provide a sex ed class that meets your approval?

This is one of those MN threads that I don't understand tbh. No-one here can tell you about the structure of the lesson or the qualifications of the person taking the class. Only the school can do that so you have to contact them and ask those questions.

On the other hand, if you've already made your mind up about the group then all you need to do is contact the school to say your DC won't attend that class and list your objections to the school hosting it. Either way, I'm not sure how this thread helps . . .

[grannytomine]

Thinking about this I think so much comes down to the individual not just the organisation they come from. People have talked about the Brook and I have had some experience with them. Back in the early 70s contraception was not free, you needed a private prescription and then paid for the pill. For me it was a huge expense and I was so thrilled when the Brook opened in my town and I got the pill free. The staff were all lovely, treated everyone with respect, were great with new people who were maybe feeling awkward, back then if you weren't married people could be very judgmental about you wanting contraception, not unusual for young women to buy a cheap ring and pretend they were engaged and planning contraception for after the wedding.

Some years later I went there for a pregnancy test, you couldn't just buy them at the pharmacy then. They were horrible. I wanted to know but before I even took the test they were pushing abortion, I got quite upset and they just pushed more. So do I think the Brook is great, well yes I think it can be. Do I think that everyone who works there lives up to their reputation? No I don't. I felt belittled and bullied.

My point is I don't think we should automatically trust someone because of their organisation's reputation but we shouldn't write people off either so do go and ask.

[balletgirlmum]

I'm confused as I can't see how the Matthew verses has anything to do with sex ES (organisation website says the worker sees preventative sex ed as a modern application of these verses.

[BertrandRussell]

I would email the Head now and ask to see all the teaching material and any handouts. In the case of the year 6 workshop I talked about, it was the handouts that were the issue, rather than the actual content.

[jan2016]

No religious organisation should be doing sex ed lessons because of the risk they could be biased. Teaching abstinence tends to back fire because teenagers don't protect themselves.

This is why religious organisations should also not be running secondary schools generally. As fewer people are religious those left are more dogmatic

[ouryve]

I stormed into the thread in exactly the same way as MrsTP.

YANBU. I would want a transcript of what was going to be discussed before I consented.

[Tamponlady]

Sex education should be delivered by a inderpendant body somthing like the brook I would ring the la they should have a nurse that directly co ordinates sex in with in the la

[GunningforISIS]

I would teach your children yourself - why are you leaving it to the school?

You must have views that you would like to pass on, so do so.

I firmly believe sex education is the responsibility of parents and not the school but, since it's happening, get in there first and ensure that your message is conveyed.

[giantpurplepeopleeater]

OP - YANBU to want to reassure yourself of the organisations delivering teaching within the school, and the messages they will be delivering. Regardless of what subject it is., but especially when it's something like PSE or RSE.

Having had a quick google about scripture union, I would have some concerns. See here:

www.thirdsector.co.uk/church-group-uses-net-support-sex-education-kids/article/619340

www.secularism.org.uk/groups-currently-active-in-schoo.html

It all hinges on what your own personal views are and what you are happy with for tour own child. My child is in a CofE school and I would still take issue with faith based abstinance rather than a sex-positive message.

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

YANBU. At all.

[mrsjskelton]

If it makes you uncomfortable I would approach the HT and ask to see the material in advance.

[redfox2015]

Initially this seems like an easy issue to answer but the more I think the more of a minefield it is. I guess checking the content is critical.
Whoever teaches it may bring something of their beliefs judgements to it be that liberal, religious or whatever. My sex ed was really part of Biology ie. just the facts, which most but I guess not all knew anyway.
The school seem to be pretty upfront by saying this is a Christian viewpoint or the presenter may be able to be impartial. Is any morality teaching not going to be biased.
I suppose follow it up at home, but the thought of that conversation with my folks would not have helped me either
What a minefield

[lorelei9]

Ballet, I'm wondering if the school has provided any sex education before? Presume it has, so what form did it take?

This could be a group who just plan to talk about their beliefs, in which case it isn't sex ed anyway.

[JessicasRabbit]

My point is I don't think we should automatically trust someone because of their organisation's reputation but we shouldn't write people off either so do go and ask.

Absolutely. I've known some atheists who had pretty skewed ideas about women and their place in society - I wouldn't want that idea presented in class any more than I would want 'sex before marriage is evil'.

The problem isn't the organisation itself, or the personal opinions of the teacher. It is the content of the lesson which matters.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

It's not just about the official material or scripts that are used though is it? Which I would ask for anyway btw, it's also about how questions are answered, how debate is fostered etc too.

SO, the official material might come across as perfectly acceptable but the actual lesson may end up being skewed depending on what happens in the class.

[LondonStill83]

I deliver SRE to young people and have worked with (not For) a few faith organizations in the past- they certainly had agendas and I would recommend finding out very specifically what they will be"teaching"....

[LondonStill83]

AndNowItIsSeven- the age of consent is 16. So any 16 or over having sex is not underage.

And the reality is, if they are going to do it, they are going to do it. Wouldn't you rather them do it safely and with awareness of the risks and the knowledge and skills to protect themselves against pregnancy, STIs, and unhealthy relationships???