Could you shop your children to the police?

[FairyFluffbum]

After a middle aged man was attacked news year eve after saying happy new year to his neighbour he was attacked by a gang of youths.
He is in intensive care but at the moment is stable

As it stands they youths have yet to be identified and the police are asking for information.

Surely ONE parent must have a suspicion or know and is keeping quiet.

Now I've just read about the two girls putting superglue on a toilet seat for a "joke"

I think children are becoming bolder in these years as no one disciplines them anymore and if anyone else dares to, the parents have a go.

So this brings me back around.

If you found out your child had done criminal activity, would you tell the police?

I look at my two and I know they trust me more than anything in the world but I would be the first to call them. I do accept "but they are children"

As j child I never attacked an adult, robbed a shop, mugged another child or even thought about/threatened rape.

[Birdsgottafly]

As for children/people "getting worse", in previous generations if you want to assault someone all you had to do was pick on a "Black/Jew/Gay", or your wife/children and it was fine.

If you wanted to torture and kill animals, it was all legal.

We're actually getting more civilised.

[ohtheholidays]

Yes I could but then they would be really really stupid if they'd done anything to warrant a call to the police being as they're Dad is a Policeman.

Our 2 oldest DS received commendations from our local Police force a couple of years ago,thankfully I think all 5DC will be staying well and truly on the right side of the law.

Sadly OP the case your talking about and many other serious crimes like that one are often commited by teens/children that have grown up within a home where that kind of behavior is normalized.Some do managed to escape that kind of lifestyle but sadly many don't.

[RattusRattus]

Yes, but DH never, ever would. It would present a massive challenge for us as parents.

[Savagebeauty]

What's his reason skip?

[BigSandyBalls2015]

Depends on the severity of the crime, but I hope I would be able to.

I have, however, seen at close hand how difficult this can be in reality. all very well to sit there with young children saying you would absolutely do x, y, z but it's rarely that clear cut.

A friend has been through hell with her teen, shop lifting, drugs, violence, stealing from parents to fund the drugs (they've had to lock everything away in a safe at home). He'd come home high, aggressive and start pushing his mum around. so many times myself and other friends said to her you must call the police, you must show him that this isn't acceptable etc etc. She is a strong, capable woman who was completely ground down by this and was terrified that reporting him to the police would be giving her son a criminal record, preventing him from hopefully eventually growing up a bit, putting this crap behind him and getting a job.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

BigSandy - you could be talking about my MIL there - she had exactly the same attitude to her DS1 (BIL), although he wasn't into drugs, "just" alcohol and violence and demanding money from his mother. She refused to ever call the police, no matter what - which never helped.

Eventually he kicked off while I was there with DS1, who was only 22mo at the time, and DH called the police. MIL still tried to get DH to retract, but because of DS1, the police refused and took BIL to court, where he was given a restraining order.

6 and a bit years down the line, BIL is in jail for assaulting a transport officer while under the influence. I do believe that if MIL had been more hardline to start with, and less enabling (giving him money to drink, bailing him out at every opportunity etc.) then he might have learnt a lesson a lot earlier on - as it is, he's 40, unemployed and an utter loser with a massive chip on his shoulder, expecting everyone else to pick up his pieces every time.

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

I think most parents would report, because usually the crime is a one-off. Then you get the terrified parent, as above. Last, there's the enablers of "Mummy's little soldier/princess". Horrible people, but very rare. Even they give up when their child starts hitting the grandchild.

[NickiFury]

Yes, for something very serious and also something less serious if I felt that it would shock them into sorting the self out.

[splendide]

Genuinely laughed out loud at the boast of "I never even threatened rape" as a child.

Me neither OP, we're a rare breed though, it's terrible.

[RattusRattus]

savage - he thinks that is it our duty as parents to protect our kids to the nth degree and that if they have done wrong it says more about us than it does about them. So, technically we broke it, so we should fix it.

Can you guess who is the main disciplinarian in this house?

[Branleuse]

No I wouldnt shop my children to the police, or it would have to be something pretty bloody awful and dangerous. I would do anything before shopping my own flesh and blood. If they cant rely on me, who can they rely on?

Obviously I hope that there is never anything which tests me on this

[RattusRattus]

Oh yes, and the relying on us thing that Branleuse said ^^.

[Sallystyle]

Yes.

When discussing Eastenders and Dean with a relative they said how hard it must be to shop your own child and how they aren't sure they could do it (for those that don't watch it, Dean raped two women and was caught by his mum the second time) and I just looked like if my child committed a serious crime like that I know I would call the police.

[JessicaRuby]

Can't believe some of you are saying you would never ever shop your kids. Not even in the case of rape, murder, child abuse or animal cruelty?

[CremeEggThief]

I would for child abuse, rape or murder. I don't think I could for anything else.

[Anotherusername1]

For something serious, yes.

For a minor crime, no. As a couple of people have said, you no longer get away with youthful indiscretions, they go on your record and have a lasting effect on your life. Not being able to get a job eg because of a shoplifting conviction is very damaging. Personally I think any minor conviction or caution should be removed from your record on your 18th birthday. It's different for serious crimes like arson, GBH, rape and murder.

[emwithme]

My mum did, with my brother - admittedly he was an adult at the time (in his mid-late 20s). He has an issue with alcohol, more specifically, with beating up women (never men, strange that ) when drunk.

He beat his (then) wife, with their under 2 year old in the house. We lived six doors away. When ex-SIL managed to get to our house, mum went down to see brother, said she was going to take him to the hospital to get his injuries looked at, and instead went to the Police Station, while my Gran was taking ex-SIL to the hospital and I was babysitting DN.

It didn't stop him. The only thing that stops him is not drinking, but he won't do that for long periods of time - although I think that if he had gone to prison for any of his offences, that may have changed his outlook...

[whois]

In all honesty it depends on the crime and circumstances.

Agreed.

One instance of minor shoplifting. Graffiti. Taking recreational drugs occasionally. Other more public disorder type of offences - no I probably wouldn't unless it was a pattern of destructive behavior that was escalating. Those aren't particularly damaging to others and I don't feel that having a life time record is a proportionate punishment.

Anything violent e.g. assault, domestic violence or anything sexual/rape or god forbid something even more serious - yes I would. Harm to others and violence is a big thing and I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing my child had caused so much pain and distress to another human with no repercussions.

[peggyundercrackers]

it would depend on the crime really. if it was something small like stealing a sweet from a shop then no I wouldn't go to the police but I would go back to the shop and they would do what they would do.

if the crime was worse then yes - if it was something like stabbing someone or maiming someone then absolutely I would go to the police.

if they were driving without insurance and had not hit anyone or caused any damage to someone elses car then no I wouldn't because no one has lost out as such and there has been no loss to anyone. I would make sure they bought insurance there and then though.

[ComposHatComesBack]

As a couple of people have said, you no longer get away with youthful indiscretions, they go on your record and have a lasting effect on your life. Not being able to get a job eg because of a shoplifting conviction is very damaging I think any minor conviction or caution should be removed from your record on your 18th birthday.

The referral order - the sentence given by default (with exemptions for truly awful crimes) to young people in England & Wales convicted in court for first time offences is automatically spent on completion. It will show up on a DBS check, but for the majority of jobs you have no need to declare it. Also criminal records are more common than you'd think, a third of men have been convicted of a criminal offence by the time they are 30, so even with a DBS employers are used to contextualising a conviction for a public order offence when the applicant was 14 and has led an otherwise productive life.

[Nataleejah]

Agree with whois
I wouldn't if it was something petty, childish stupidity, etc.
But if it was serious, i certainly would.

[batshitlady]

For a violent crime like that? I definitely would...And I have 2 .

[Cutecat78]

A warning under the age of 18 does not go on your record - and my son's wasn't even "official".

[ComposHatComesBack]

More of a 'Horrid Henry' style practical joke where somebody was stuck on the toilet given the police were looking for young women aged 16-18, I don't think they would be spending too long watching horrid Henry or be unaware superglue could cause serious injury to skin.