To think she stole more than i realised

[Teenagecrisisagain]

A few months ago we had a cleaner. A really good very thorough cleaner who started to organise EVERYTHING for us and often sent texts like
"If you can't find something keep looking! I may have put it in wrong place!"

She was totally and utterly believable. Seemed nice and made our life a lot easier

I did start to notice I couldn't find things and put it down to me being disorganised or like she had said she may have put it in wrong place....
Couple of cardigans
Hair oil
Make up
Frozen dress
Etc etc

I went out one day and saw her. Wearing MY clothes. The ones I had 'lost'
Sacked her and as she refused to return key we changed locks.

This was months ago and over the last two weeks it has come to light that a couple of other items are also missing. A dress and another cardigan. I'm so upset and wondering....how much did she actually take from us and how could I have been so stupid ?

It was dh work party last night and it was my go to dress for occasions. I don't go out much so hadn't looked in the wardrobe it's in for a while and not for that dress anyway but I went to the side it's always in and it's gone :(

AIBU to still feel upset about this and to think she must have been taking stuff and quite a lot for a while

[Teenagecrisisagain]

I know that now ista and I do feel that the whole experience has made me a lot more suspicious of people which is a shame

I was just so tired at the time and the glowing reference coupled with the fact this woman was utterly charming and believable was enough to to gain my trust stupidly :(

[Ista]

Going what would you actually expect the police to do though.

[Ista]

But of course you should do all those searches before you employ someone to come into your home. It's your responsibility to ensure the safety of your home and family.

[Goingtobeawesome]

I would be visiting the police on adaily basis until they fucking well did do something. You poor thing. I'm so sorry you have had this betrayal.

[Aeroflotgirl]

How awful op, what a horrid person .

[Arsenicinthesugarbowl]

I'd*report and given not giving!

[Arsenicinthesugarbowl]

To be fair to you OP she was recommended so you had no reason to do all those google searches etc. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. She sounds particularly horrible though as she was so plausible and appeared nice when in fact she was anything but.
If report the other missing items and advise the police she cleans for other people. It sounds like she is unlikely to change her ways giving that convictions and jail haven't been much of a deterrent

[Teenagecrisisagain]

I should have gone to an agency but at the time I had called a couple and they were all busy and took a while to get back to me so it was quicker after having a recommendation for someone. Obviously that was a big mistake and our cleaner is now from an agency

As for googling I'd never in a million years have thought to google someone initially but afterwards I did. Wish I had done it before though

[GwynethPaltrowIamNot]

Bloody hell , I remember your post
I'd go round and tell her that unless she returned everything by a certain time you were going to the police , her choice

[redexpat]

Oh that is gutting. Im sorry she stole more stuff. To the pp who asked why she didnt google or use an agency 1. hindsight is a wonderful thing and 2. its not the OPs fault that the other woman stole from her. It is the fault of the other woman for stealing.

[KERALA1]

It's horrible op. I have been burgled at home 3 times and every car I have ever owned bar one has been stolen. But think what happened to you is way worse because of the personal interaction.

[Teenagecrisisagain]

The volunteering was through a church group but I'm assuming they would have the same rules ?

[Teenagecrisisagain]

I actually do have her address which I have to the police earlier in the year when I originally reported. When I googled her the road was mentioned them on her fb there was something with the full address so I was able to tell them

I considered going myself to ask for my stuff and key back but tbh was too scared after reading about her past and I reported instead
It horrible that she stole and it upset me but really what got me more was the fact she was so nice and chatty and seemed so genuine. I did not for one moment suspect anything and if I hadn't gone out that day and bumped into her I may never have realised !

[KERALA1]

Horrid.

My sister and her friends all paid £2k each as deposit and first months rent to a plausible letting agent fir a student house. He vanished with the money, the house was full if other tenants. Police wouldn't do anything.

[UsedToBeAPaxmanFan]

I'm so sorry for you, OP. It's a horrible feeling that you have been exploited by someone. The police should take this seriously, especially if she is slso cleaning for vulnerable older people.

I would also alert the charity your friend volunteers for, as I suspect they have very clear rules about boundaries for volunteers, and that she has overstepped them. Psrt of her role as a volunteer might be to support prisoners in job-seeking after release, but that would be by attending the job centre with them, or helping them fill in application forms. It's not putting them in touch with people where the ex-prisoner will be in a position of trust, especially where the people employing her aren't made aware of her background. The charity needs to know this so they can address it.

[BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley]

you should go back to the police and demand to know why the report of theft and the refusal to return your key wasnt taken more seriously the first time.

You sound a bit like me, don't like to make too much of a fuss and easily fobbed off for an easy life but seriously she has totally taken the piss and you should not have to tolerate it.

If she's shoplifted two cardigans the police would not be dismissing it so lightly.

[rainbowstardrops]

Definitely call the police again. I wonder how many others she's stolen from?

[DiscoDiva70]

I'd also go back to the police and report other items missing as even if they can't actually do anything at the moment it could be put on record.

Also, considering this cleaner has form for dishonesty, imo there's a good chance she's doing her 'cleaning' on the side and therefore you could always inform hmrc or the dwp if you think she is.

[Littlefluffyclouds81]

I had an intruder in my house in April, and the police attended that night after I called 999. Then I had some more information that I wanted to tell them, and it took nearly a month for the officer to come back. When he arrived, he apologised profusely, and said that the area he covers, which is huge, only had one officer covering it at a time, when there used to be 5. This all changed since the Tories got in in 2010. So they found themselves constantly firefighting the most important incident, and having to let people down as something like an RTA might happen in an adjacent area which needed more than one officer, and he'd have to go there.

So you can see how things like stolen clothes could easily just not get dealt with, which is wrong of course, but I don't think it's fair to say the police aren't interested.

[GarlicCake]

Oh, no, MindfulBear, what a depressing story. Agree with your idea about contacting her other customers.

[GarlicCake]

Oh, bloody hell. Poor you! At the very least, I'd report it again to the cops and get an incident number. You should be able to claim the missing stuff on your insurance - assuming it comes to more than your excess. I'd also consider telling the local paper AND your local Age UK.

Sorry you've had a run-in with an habitual thief. This is NOT normal, most people are kind and honest!

[Viviennemary]

I think you should contact the police if you are absolutely sure these things are missing. Because she'll go on and steal from somebody else and may take even more valuable things.

[Strokethefurrywall]

Jesus fucking Christ, and the police wonder why people take the law into their own hands.

I'd go and beat the clothes right off her body then take all the money in her purse to pay to replace the rest of the stuff she stole, but that's me. If going down the correct channels doesn't stop her then may be a broken nose would. Bitch.

[MindfulBear]

sorry to hear this OP. I would report the additional missing items to the police but dont expect anything to come of it.

I would also talk to the other people the friendly friend had recommended this cleaner to. She wont just have stolen from you & sadly the elderly are vunerable.

An elderly relative of ours was slowly stolen from, over many years, by a number of cleaners and carers. One even cleared the deep freezer!!!!
It was very sad because this elderly lady wanted to give a piece of family jewellery to her great niece one day and it was never ever found. The realisation that it had been stolen was a very bitter one, especially as during the search most of her pieces were found to have gone. The poor woman had had a stroke a number of years before and had not been upstairs or into her front room since. These people had free reign to take whatever they fancied.

Makes me sick they are not stopped.

[kittypaws]

it really is hurtful when someone steals from you, go back to the police and see if they can help although they probably wont as it isnt jewels or phones, but you can still try. I wouldnt obsess over it though, its a lesson learned.