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AIBU?

To be pissed off with the police?!!

18 replies

harboromummy · 19/12/2015 03:09

Picture the scene. Laid in bed starfishing tonight with my windows open because I'm pregnant and hot.

I hear arguing outside and it's more of a girl screaming she wants her phone back and a man shouting swear words and stuff. I then hear the smack. And she screams and starts sobbing. I decide to call the police. (7 year abusive relationship where no one helped me said to do so).

I then hear them move further up the street, and I hear smack her again. This time I literally power walk down the road without my shoes on. As I'm walking up I can hear the guy telling her to go f*k herself and walks away, she's on the floor crying. He then sees me and runs back to her and tries getting her up and being all lovey.

I tell him I want to make sure she's okay, she clearly isn't! She's on the floor crying holding her face.

He shouts at me and then starts telling her to get up and come home with him. She keeps telling him to go and to leave her alone, I ask her if she wants to come home with me. She says yes but he literally gets I between us.

He kind of manhandled her and got her up, and started dragging her home all the time her telling him she wants him to go.

The bloke in his drunk state gave me his name and address.

40 mins later and the police still arent here and Iv had to let her go. I'm kicking myself now and don't know what to do.

Iv looked him up on Facebook, the poor girl isn't from round here. He looks quiet popular.

Arghhh

OP posts:

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harboromummy · 19/12/2015 18:30

Thank you all, I messaged her on Facebook and she apologised. I told her she has nothing to be sorry for but please don't stand for it and she deserves so much more.

X

OP posts:

calmish1 · 19/12/2015 09:15

Brave woman, I hope the girl gets away from the arsehole and you get some sleep.

TimeToMuskUp · 19/12/2015 09:13

I think you should try and focus the pissed-off-ness at the man who hit her, not the police. My Dad was an officer and around this time of year his shifts were just dreadful. I remember my Mum at Christmas would never plan anything including my Dad because she always knew his shifts wouldn't finish on time and even if they did, he'd be so utterly exhausted he wouldn't be fit for purpose.

Yesterday was the last Friday before Christmas where everyone and his wife are out on works do's getting trolled and causing havoc. The police are probably run off their feet trying to stay on top of it all.

You were so incredibly brave, op. Well done for showing her that she's not on her own.

harboromummy · 19/12/2015 08:57

The address is correct, and his name. I googled.

OP posts:

LittleLionMansMummy · 19/12/2015 08:45

DV is a priority and they're inspected on their handling of it too - unfortunately it's just that some are better equipped to deal with it than others and some are better resourced too. But it's a notoriously difficult area of work to deal with and it's complexities are huge. That said, they should always respond and respond quickly. Many times there are markers on file for previous incidents and they never know whether this time it will be fatal.

You did a very brave thing op and I hope the police do indeed follow it up properly when the man is back home (assuming he told you his correct address).

harboromummy · 19/12/2015 08:34

Thank you, Iv managed to find her dad on Facebook. I will message him. X

OP posts:

StarkyTheDirewolf · 19/12/2015 08:17

You were very brave. I've just woken up and am surprised to find Dh (nightclub bouncer) in bed next to me, this time of year is horrific. And I'm only awake because I was having a nightmare about him being stabbed!

I don't know whether this would be a good or bad thing, but if you've found her on facebook, can you find her Mum? I wish somebody had told my Mum. I don't know, maybe I'm being silly. Shes so young, you did so well op.

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome · 19/12/2015 06:43

The Friday before Christmas is the biggest drinking night of the year, sadly I suspect that demand for the police far far outstripped supply last night. Well done for what you did

maybebabybee · 19/12/2015 06:36

Sadly many police forces don't prioritise domestic violence. When my mum's ex partner assaulted her she had to wait a month for him to be arrested, they never kept her informed and every time she chased them they basically acted like she was a pain in the arse.

Not all police forces are like this re: dv, some are great. But many are not.

Perfectlypurple · 19/12/2015 06:25

Domestic violence is prioritised, but no matter how much of a priority it is if there aren't any free officers when the call comes in they can't go to it. They don't wait around. My dh was nights last night,he is still at work. I doubt he had a minute to breathe, I also doubt he will be finishing on time at 7am.

Op very brave.

DiddysMammy · 19/12/2015 04:26

Wow!! Seriously brave move!! Well done you.. As a late teen (around the same age as this young lady) I was beaten up after a night out by my lovely ex in the middle of town with people around and NO ONE came to my aid!! I am lucky enough now to have moved on and am married to a wonderful man who understands that he has to be patient and never raise his voice.. The first and only time he did I physically wet myself..

I hope her parents cop on to what is happening and she gets away from him!

MsMims · 19/12/2015 03:37

Agree with PP you've been really brave harboro

No matter how busy the police are, domestic violence should be prioritised. So many women are killed by their partners.

SpellBookandCandle · 19/12/2015 03:30

Harboromummy, you did a fabulous brave thing. You let this young woman know that someone, even a stranger, cares about her. Please take care of yourself too. Your safety should always be considered when confronting a DV situation. Xx

GreatFuckability · 19/12/2015 03:30

You did a really brave thing! Hopefully they'll find her and make sure she's ok. A big part of me would want to message everyone he knows and tell them what a piece of gutterslime he is.

harboromummy · 19/12/2015 03:23

They have rang 👍🏼

They have been to the address the guy gave and no one is in atm so they are going to look around for them.

i feel so worried about her and I don't know what to do.iv found her on Facebook and she's only 17!

OP posts:

TheXxed · 19/12/2015 03:21

Domestic violence has NEVER been a priority cuts or no cuts. OP you did a brave thing, I hope the police will chase it up but I seriously it.

NickNacks · 19/12/2015 03:17

Why are posed off with the police? I doubt they're taking 40 minutes just to piss you off and ignore your call. It's a Friday night, they will be incredibly busy and just won't have anyone to send to you right now.

Dh is a Police officer and incredibly overworked. He would be upset to hear people are pissed off with him because there have been so many cuts to their force and he can't be in two places at once.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 19/12/2015 03:16

You did a brave thing but I suspect there simply aren't enough officers to cover everything they need to cover on an average Fri night much less a Fri night so close to Christmas.

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