re my mum congratulating my pregnant friend before me (Facebook one, sorry)

[wtfisgoingonhere]

So.... in the middle of watching Dr who when my phone rings, it's my mum, so I message her to say I'll call her back

My phone buzzes and she messages to say that my friend is having a baby (yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Eeek exciting!)

Knew it would be via Facebook so go looking for post and find my mum's already posted on it

Aibu to feel a bit put out?

Fwiw I'm currently going through a pretty tough time with depression which I realise may skew my emotions.

Text mum to say 'Yay, but you posted first' and she says that's why she rang so I could post first but she still did

Please be gentle I'm having a shitty time of things lately but this has really upset me

It is only affecting you because you are feeling particularly sensitive at the moment. Why don't you offer to treat your friend to tea and cake to celebrate?

Take care of yourself.

Why does it matter who posts first?

YABU, sorry

Order of posting reflects the frequency people saw it, not the order of importance of the people.

You might be entitled to be a little miffed with your friend for not telling you direct if you're very close but it's not worth it even then, just be happy for/with her.

Hope your shitty time improves soon, don't let this sort of daftness extend it if you can help it.

Great post Karaoke you are very thoughtful and kind

The people who like or comment within minutes of the update are usually the ones who have too much time on their hands.

Yes as Karaoke pointed out, there's probably more happening here.

Maybe have a think about how this is raising up some underlying issues with your mother? Maybe you feel like she often interferes in your life in various ways, and this particular event is just hitting the soft spot because you're otherwise feeling vulnerable?

Maybe this should be all about your friend, not you.

Just saying.

YABU, but it sounds like that's due to your depression - trivial things can seem more important and upset you more than they would normally. If it's a close friend, I can understand you being upset about her announcing the pregnancy on Facebook before telling you (and others she is close to) first, but I don't think it matters that your mum has posted first.

Look after yourself

i think you should delete facebook

It's a non issue.

Look after yourself.

I am assuming your friends accepted your mums friend request.

So the friend would expect her to see it.

It sounds like your issue is that she is on Facebook a lot and knows what happens with your friends before you.

When people put things on Facebook they expect people to see it in a random order. Some people are on face book a lot. Some people aren't.

I often get asked if I saw something on Facebook, I usually haven't. I only check it if I have an email to say I have been tagged in something or am bored. I only have it to keep up with news about my hobby.

I am usually the last to know anything on FB. So I can't really complain that people know stuff before I do.

Your mum did try and contact you to tell you.

Your depression is probably making you feel worse. Take care of yourself and don't be so hard on your mum.

Facebook is a way for people to act like egomaniac queen bee teens for all their lives. Accept. Ignore. Perhaps defenestration will work for you, if you don't live in a one story house.

Facebook was created at Harvard to find cute coeds. As a fellow depressive, I find it really unhealthy at times. Don't do the drama.

So sorry you are depressed, are you getting help? I hope so

What you have posted about is absolutely ludicrous. If it's a 'thing' with you or your friends about posting first (i.e. not just to do with your anxiety and depression) then I strongly recommend coming off FB as I can't put into words how ridiculous it is. I deleted FB and don't miss it one iota.

Yabu. I can't see the issue either!

Argh my mum does this too...every single photo, status, etc my friends post about their baby, cat, etc, there she is, posting away. I've deleted her and am actually NC at the moment. She has absolutely no comprehension of how much she has hurt me in the past, so, obviously, has no idea of how upsetting it is for me to see her plastered all over MY, not HER, friends' FBs.

If you have a normal mother you might not understand.

Bloody Facebook, it's literally tearing families apart and destroying friendships (removes tongue from cheek).

Its your friends announcement, it's not about you. Why make yourself the victim in someone else's good news and subsequent congratulations? It is neither here nor there who congratulated her first.