About DH working in Japan?

[ExasperatedAlmostAlways]

To give a bit of background so I'm not drupfeeding. My DH has his own company, we do well (I do accounts etc) and I am a SAHM. We have three kids who are 10, 5, 2. My DH tends to get an idea about something and jumps in with both feet without thinking it through properly or only seeing the positives rather than negatives. He is a great husband, really helps out with the kids and in the house if needed etc, isn't funny with money or abusive in anyway except he can sometimes unknowingly be a little selfish. His siblings were in their twenties when he was born because his mum had them young so he was spoiled by them all and grew up pretty much as an only child so sometimes thinks only of himself.

He called me this morning and asked how I would feel about him going to work in Japan in a couple of weeks for a few weeks. Hed been given someone's number who was looking for contractors to go over and work with him.

I said (thinking here we go with an idea he suddenly thinks is great without thinking of negatives) get more info then we will discuss it.

So he text me later saying 'x said the guy has guys working in Australia the Bahamas, could be a great adventure' that instantly make me think he's thinking of the benefits to himself and what he can get out by getting to go.

He then called and said he has spoken to the guy and it's all expenses paid (didn't ask where exactly he'd be staying though) day rate is less than what he charges here but the same as what he makes after tax. However he'd be working 12 hour shifts that he doesn't do here and he'd be working 21 days straight that he doesn't here and the kids wouldn't see their dad for three weeks.

Since starting typing this he has come in. He said he's worked it out and hed make 250 more than he would at home. I said 250 over three weeks but the kids wouldn't see you for three weeks and would really miss you. Surely the negatives outweighs the positives for the family as a whole and financially it's not that much better. He said in an annoyed tone well I just thought it would be an experience that could lead to other things and work elsewhere (more adventures for him with not much more financial benefits is what I take from that) I said I think you are being a little selfish and thinking of it as an adventure for yourself instead of thinking how much the kids will miss you. Hes went out in a huff but is away to help his friend in his house anyway.

Aibu? It just feels like the benefits aren't that great and it's coming up to Xmas where il be having to rush from pillar to post getting the kids to all their different things they will need to go to and doing it on my own for an extra 250 just isn't worth it.

[OVienna]

Thank you for the admonishment and careful policing of said thread. I did read several pages z have a wonderful evening.

[TalkinPeas]

Ovienna
RTFT
her DH did the research a did the right thing

[OVienna]

Three weeks away, cancelled jobs, all for an extra £250. That'll be gone in no time. Unless it's a very good prospect for UK work in the future I can't quite grasp how he thinks this job will benefit the family. I think it's mad, sorry. I 'd be wondering what us really going through his mind.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Scrap that, saw your update!

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

My father gave up a lot to provide us with a decent life when he started out. As he moved higher in work opportunities arose for him to go on trips that weren't strictly necessary but good. My mum always encouraged him to go. He saw American, New Zealand, Tokyo and a whole load of other places. He worked hard his whole life and was still working on these trips. He got to experience cultures he never would have otherwise. Unless it is going to make life amazingly unbearable for you, I say let him go. He will always remember how supportive you were and you and dc will get some excellent pressies!

[NCisannoying]

Oops
Good outcome

[TheDowagerCuntess]

Good outcome.

Besides, I would've been sceptical that he'd have gotten over there and wanted to see and do things other than work, and wouldn't have made anywhere near as much money as predicted.

All moot now, anyway.

[TalkinPeas]

RTFT : He's not going

[NCisannoying]

I think he is being selfish and rather stupid.

What if the clients here prefer whoever he gets to cover his booked jobs while away? Or if they decide he is too unreliable so he loses future work?

I also think that when you have kids, you can't go swanning off on a jolly and take no account of the fact that your absence makes life much harder for your partner.

When do you get to bugger off for 3 weeks and dump all responsibility onto him. My guess is never - self employed people rarely have the luxury of taking that much time off to cover childcare.

Then there are all the tax implications and unforeseen expenses. This will cost you money, I assure you.

If he was mine I'd say an outright no!

[BadLad]

But it's expensive. Like eye watering my expensive. I was paying £1.50 (¥250) for a loaf of eight slices of bread expensive. An all expenses trip might have catches where they will only cover a certain amount. Travel is expensive unless you walk and have a bike. Medical insurance is needed. You will get taxed over there but for a short contract, you can claim it back, but will have that gap between claiming and payment.

Some things are expensive, although that is fair more than the norm for bread. I usually pay about 180 yen, now 90p. Fruit is ridiculously expensive. Eating out is much cheaper than London.

Not sure that travel is expensive compared to the UK, especially train travel. The longest underground journey in Tokyo costs about 310 yen, or one pound sixty. And most employers pay for employee's travel to and from work.

[TalkinPeas]

Glad he made the decision for himself Exasperated - that means you and he won't row about it in years to come.

On the other hand, if any of that work comes up in EU ports, it might be worth him keeping a toe in the door ....

[specialsubject]

good news. So not worth it: visa, flights and most importantly the medical insurance. Standard travel insurance doesn't cover workers.

[OneFlewOverTheDodosNest]

How did the test go Exasperated?

[troubleatmillcock]

Sounds to me like he fancies a holiday in Japan and three weeks on his own.

But then I'm pessimistic.

[ExasperatedAlmostAlways]

Just to update he decided he isn't going to go. He said it would of been fine had we had no kids or responsibilities here with the business already but he does and it's just not worth it. He has passed the details on to his cousin who he subcontracts in for big jobs and who has no kids and still lives at home.

Thanks for all your posts, glad he made the decision on his own in the end.

[SouthWesterlyWinds]

Can I just say I loved my time working in Japan. Absolutely loved it! The lifestyle, the difference to the UK, the feast days and traditional celebration - loved it. Would go back in an instant if I could take DH and DC's with me.

But it's expensive. Like eye watering my expensive. I was paying £1.50 (¥250) for a loaf of eight slices of bread expensive. An all expenses trip might have catches where they will only cover a certain amount. Travel is expensive unless you walk and have a bike. Medical insurance is needed. You will get taxed over there but for a short contract, you can claim it back, but will have that gap between claiming and payment.

He's also being a bit naive if he thinks he can get a visa to work in Japan in such short notice without paying out and going to the embassy in London. He would probably need a letter from his sponsor, have to apply for a certificate of eligibility etc and then this will be finally assessed when he lands in Narita. I would suggest a feeler working visit next year when it won't affect his current client base or create bad feeling from his cancelling contracts for this trip last minute.

[howabout]

^...why on earth would anyone even consider working long and antisocial hours for less than their usual rate in one of the most expensive countries in the world (even if he gets expenses, he will spend more than he can claim back)?

Either someone is trying to rip your DH off, or the project is not completely above board.^

This.

Also I think he will have to pay tax unless what he means by tax free is that the figure quoted is after tax has been paid on his behalf by the employer.

He may well get more overseas work through his friend and very soon end up reliant on his friend with no UK clients left and you squeezed out of the business.

If he wants some time away and you are happy with that get him to save up for a lads adventure holiday.

[sashh]

How much will his visa cost? How much is tax in Japan? What about medical insurance? Holiday insurance won't cover him.

[RoboticSealpup]

Yanbu. He is cancelling clients at home, to 'gain potential contacts' that he doesn't even need in Japan. He could end up losing existing clients, for hardly any extra income!

He just really, really wants to go to Japan and do his own thing for three weeks. Fine, but at least he could be honest about that.

[ExasperatedAlmostAlways]

Just to update he's home and in a good mood and it hasnt been mentioned yet. I'm now more clued up on the tax situation and since I do the tax returns I needed to be aware what it involves with regards to tax working away.

Il speak to him tomoro evening my heads frazzled tonight and iv been up since half four this morning so going to bed now. Thanks for all your replies and info given regarding tax.

[antimatter]

Cleaner wouldn't be an option. No there's absolutely no way he'd agree to me doing it because he works

I would tell him to go away and examine his head.
If you go along with crap like that he will always book jobs without considering you.

[wannabestressfree]

He may be working on the boat but you need to spend more time out of the country than in it to get away with no tax..... Trust me I worked for them.

[nocoolnamesleft]

I worked in a non-EU country for 6 months. On my return, I had to pay UK tax on every penny. Worse than that, I ended up having to complete tax returns for both countries for several years, and they followed different finacnial years! Argh!!!!!

Check the tax situation!

[DarthVadersTailor]

YABU I'm afraid. It's a three week period and not three years, plus surely it's an exciting opportunity to work in a different country and network with people you wouldn't normally.....to deny someone that especially if they really want it would make you the selfish one and not him.

[Mistigri]

I haven't read the whole thread, but why on earth would anyone even consider working long and antisocial hours for less than their usual rate in one of the most expensive countries in the world (even if he gets expenses, he will spend more than he can claim back)?

Either someone is trying to rip your DH off, or the project is not completely above board.