To ask whatever happened to personal responsibility

[LunchpackOfNotreDame]

Everything seems to be someone else's fault these days

Kids are badly behaved? Blame the teachers
Don't understand politics? Blame the government
Got a health condition that's not getting better but you're not doing your physio or taking your medication properly? Blame the doctors
The list goes on and I'm sure others have better examples than me!

Aibu to ask where personal responsibility has gone?

[Notasinglefuckwasgiven]

As Pp said some change is good. Compensation for someone seriously hurt due to someone cutting corners or something is ok. The grabby culture is wrong though. I see it at work....We get regular attempts at claims because from people too drunk to stand and if they fall or slide off a seat it's our fault. Can't possibly be up to you to get yourself home after a night drinking. It's someone else who must. And if they don't they sue. I believe ambulance service and police get this too. Some things you do bring on yourself and trying to get cash for it is wrong.

[cleaty]

From some of those examples, the people saying them sound as if they are extremely thick.

[suzannecaravaggio]

it shouldn't be allowed

[SmellsLikeMiddleAgeSpirit]

I think this is true to an extent, and goes hand in hand with our American inspired, no win, no fee, increasingly litigious culture. Something is always someone else's responsibility/ fault, and they're gonna pay!

This sort of attitude now means effectively there is no such thing as an accident, only fault and negligence; no such think as a forgiveable mistake, only blame. This encourages increasingly less personal responsibility... if we can blame someone else we can. Sometimes make some money out of it.

Sucks, really.

[LunchpackOfNotreDame]

I agree yeolde there is definitely room for both

[yeOldeTrout]

I'd rather live in a society that was quicker to offer sympathy than to condemn. If we have to tilt things one way or the other.

Besides (I said this elsewhere): both can be true. Sympathy is due & responsibility still lies with the obvious person.
Your parents may have fucked you up, but if you're an adult now then it's time to take responsibility for what happens in future.

[LunchpackOfNotreDame]

Wow! Sorry for disappearing I've got 101 things to do and it wasn't my intention to dump and run

amanda who? I'm afraid you've got the wrong person (feel free to report me though if you don't believe me)

Other examples:

My child is failing at school but I won't do any work with them because school work should be done in school time

My child isn't potty trained, the nursery can't see why I want him in a pull up for the walk home

I've got a splinter, let's get to a&e to have it checked out

Mum has broken her leg, why should I look after her, that's what social services are for

I got stopped by the police for speeding, why aren't they catching real criminals

[Youarentkiddingme]

I agree to an extent that there is a minute minority of people who will not help themselves. But I bet there is more to play in that than what it seems - eg MH problems that are undiagnosed or poor education and upbringing from a time where services didn't exist like they do now to prevent it.

Yes, there are issues with services and funding them. But that's because the countries money doesn't match up. Wages are too low for cost of living or cost of living is too high for the average income. Housing is expensive. People need tax credits because they don't earn enough to live off.

We are a nanny state to a degree - but how come we became one? Where did the issue of childhood obesity spring from or the sudden desire for term time holidays?

And YY to all the things we used to view as acceptable or normal - I'm glad we no longer accept men powering woman, that sexual abuse is in the open and people feel empowered to leave violent relationships. I'd love someone to be begging for help if it meant leaving a violent home - better than taking personal responsibility for marrying the person and staying.

Not all change is for the worse.

[GruntledOne]

Seriously, stop reading the Mail and/or the Express, you'll feel much better.

[trapdooragain]

hence why im not indulging him over the photo thing its been two weeks that's enough and ive told the social worker he is being disruptive to the children over contact she is going to have words with him at the end of the day i want to work if i cant rely on them being collected from school regularly how can i work under such uncertainty? yes its doable with after school clubs but it costs and they like to know more than a day in advance who will be there!

[expatinscotland]

Good for you, thread police.

[AmandaJanePisces]

lunchpack if you are Mrs W, your DH is guilty of serious professional misconduct for discussing a patient

If not, FO anyway : get over yourself

[expatinscotland]

Someone needs to put down the Daily Fail.

[cleaty]

A&E deal with these people more, because they can no longer get their GP to see them out of hours. There have always been people who won't take personal responsibility for their behaviour. And others who struggle to ask for help.

[WoodHeaven]

trap you might nor be divorced yet but fater, at most, 5 years you WILL.
And in the mean time, you are separated and can loive your life as you please.

You ex can blame ypu as much as he wants, yu don't have to think he is right nor do you have to act as if you were to blme (and then run around after him)

[WoodHeaven]

Agree with Spero and MrsDeVere.


So OP where are you and can you give more precise examples?

[trapdooragain]

actually i still cant divorce him he wont sign the paperwork then he will then he wont then he blames me because we are not divorced yet

what burns me is society still expects me to do things for him even though we are apart im STILL being blamed because i didn't arrange for him to go to parents evening he didn't either the school ended up doing it and im scolded because i didn't arrange it for the poor helpless man

im going to get into trouble of the school photos i told him i needed the money before they were ordered (BEFORE) he has seen the kids three times and not given the money over so im not ordering them for him fuck it ive had enough

[honkinghaddock]

There have always been people with a limited capacity for personal responsibility.

[suzannecaravaggio]

Just don't get me started

[trapdooragain]

actually i agree my ex is abusive but its not his fault its because thirty years ago his dad abused his mom and he is not ocd (neither is his mom diagnosed with ocd but refers to herself as ocd) but he allows her to visit her stupidity on the children thus ensuring another generation of insanity over food (trying not to out myself here but she has issues equating food with love and virtually force feeds ds when he goes over it makes him ill but shows he loves nanny and daddy!) again this is not there fault its her "ocd" her "anxiety" she won't be honest with the doctors to get help therefore the kids suffer for it (my personal opinion is her husband and family indulge it way too much because she snaps out of it when it suits her or when she isn't indulged so she really doesn't seem like she has genuine issues unless its convenient for her )

same with his stuff he left a year ago won't collect his stuff this is my fault because i have not arranged someone to collect it (his family are supposed to be collecting it) the kids are dirty when they are collected from nursery this is my fault and im neglecting them (when they are at nursery all day and have clean clothing in the bag)

he lost his documents for his car again my fault because they were in his car when we split so of course i should know where he put them

he has supervised contact with the children when the supervisors go on holiday it is his responsibility to arrange cover he does not do this till the last minute and we all end up chasing our tales sorting it out this is everyone else's fault but his

he has bad acid reflux won't take the tablets daily like he is supposed to only takes them when he has a flare up and they don't work so well this is the doctor's fault

no personal responsibility at all