"He's ok in small doses"

[OstentatiousBreastfeeder]

FIL and his partner just dropped 5yo DS off after having him overnight. AIBU to think, after asking repeatedly to have him overnight, insisting they'd love nothing more than to spend two days uninterrupted with him doing fun things, that this comment is a bit... rude? He didn't say it in a particularly kind way, and I don't think he meant it as a joke...

Apparently he wasn't naughty or cheeky, so I'm not sure what he means by it, tbh. He did say he was a bit tired because DS got up at 7, which is a bit earlier than FIL would have liked.

DH thinks he just meant he couldn't do it full-time and meant no harm. And I am suffering horrendous PMT, so I could be making something out of nothing.

Would this comment make you feel a bit hurt on your DC's behalf or am I being a twit?

[KatieLatie]

Blimey, OP, I am 42 in February!

[KatieLatie]

Think that maybe they just bit off more than they could chew...

As the mother of a 5 year old boy, definitely appreciate that they are full on. And I am (relatively) young and fit. And DS is a well behaved, loveable bundle of energy and noise, non-stop (unless he is asleep).

Don't think he was rude, probably just admitting his limitations...

[OstentatiousBreastfeeder]

Well I completely acknowledge I am a twit

Though I should point out that FIL is in his mid-forties and not even greying as yet! And I am.

[BeanGirls]

Other people's kids are only ok in small doses.

[BackforGood]

I agree with (virtually) everyone else.
He's just commenting that it's exhausting looking after little people - which it is.
Nothing rude or offensive at all.

[LikeASoulWithoutAMind]

I'm sure he didn't mean anything bad by it.

[LikeASoulWithoutAMind]

Small children are exhausting when you're not used to having them 24:7, no matter how old you are!

My close friend came to visit with her 3yo the other week. He's gorgeous and I'm really very fond of him and he was really well behaved but I was still shattered by the time they left. And I have 3 (slightly older but preteen) dcs myself who are really close in age so I'd say I have plenty of first hand recent-ish experience of small kids. Amazing how quickly you forget.

[Abidewithme3]

Loving the term niblings. That's fantastic.

[StrawberryTeaLeaf]

Niblings are the childdren of your siblings, your nieces and nephews.

Oh! Sweet

[Abidewithme3]

once your past 50 well I am and a cm so get the energy from
Somewhere in my old knackered body!

Still I wouldn't like them overnight.

Op it's the truth though isn't it. Small children are generally a massive pain in the arse and I love my mindees and my job but it's full on.

[toomuchtooold]

Am I the only one who suspects he's one of that old guard of granddads who are surprised how much work a small dc is because they did everything they could to swerve childcare with their own children?

[FretYeNotAllIsShiny]

Niblings are the childdren of your siblings, your nieces and nephews.

[Yellowbird54321]

I think it was unnecessary to say it in that way, particularly if he's made a fuss about wanting to have him for two nights, it would have been nicer to hear something like: 'sorry we're bringing him back early but I'm a bit worn out, forgot how lively kids are'
But I wouldn't make a big deal of it, just be mindful of it for the future by keeping DC / FIL visits shorter.

[ChiefInspectorBarnaby]

It could be that they were exhausted and perhaps being older and not having young children on a regular basis tired them out. Don't take it to heart.

[SaucyJack]

I get what he means, but I think it would have been better left unsaid.

[MorrisZapp]

Niblings is a great word :)

What does it mean?

[Damselindestress]

I would take it to mean that he would like to look after your DS for shorter periods of time because he had forgotten how tiring even well behaved small children can be. It's an expression and it might have been a bit thoughtless but I don't think he meant any offence, especially if he's normally nice. You are not a twit for feeling upset though, it's understandable.

[StrawberryTeaLeaf]

I'm sure it was a rueful comment on his own decreased stamina.

What's a nibling miaow?

[Atenco]

I love my dgd to bits, but I don't go in for much babysitting as it is hard work, especially when you aren't the person with a routine and who knows how best to entertain them.

[welliesandleaves]

Well, it wasn't the most tactless way of putting it but I wouldn't take offence.

Even the most adoring grandparents usually say the best thing about grandchildren is that you get to hand them back.

[ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba]

You are not a twit OP
Sorry about your PND,surely that effects how sensitive you are to such comments. (hugs)

I don't think your FIL meant to hurt your feelings and if my FIL had said something similar I'd be rolling my eyes or agreeing with him depending on my mood!

Grandparents can't always bear the interruption children cause,however insignificant the changes are. My advice is to forget and forgive.
And if he says something like that again, grin and say "wow, that's what my son said about you!"

[IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou]

I think that is really rude &
I would say it was rather insensitive of him

I'd say you're both far too eager to find offence where it's not intended.

[80schild]

This is how I feel about my own children.

[Topseyt]

I would say it was rather insensitive of him, but I suppose he had simply forgotten over the years just how exhausting even well behaved small children can be.

Let it go. Benefit of the doubt and all of that.

[DN4GeekinDerby]

He certainly could have been worded that better. If it is meant to be about his own ability to cope, he should say that. I wouldn't take it as a direct insult unless there were other similar children in the family they spend more time with without such comments.