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AIBU?

To think this man was just rude?

187 replies

QuestioningStuff · 05/10/2015 16:49

Shopping with DC earlier, we got to the cereal aisle and I asked DS (3yo) what cereal he wanted. I knew full well that he would say Weetabix as that's what he always has.

A man butted in before DS could answer and told me I should give him oats and fruit. That all these cereals are bad for them. I told him to mind his own business and took the weetabix. He called after me that I was rude. I said he was rude to comment on what a stranger feeds their child.

WIBU? He was rude wasn't he? I will be the first to admit that we don't live off of Kale and Chia Seeds (whatever the hell they are) but it's Weetabix ffs!

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QuestioningStuff · 06/10/2015 21:29

Hmm still lots of mixed results. Very interesting.

I think there must be 3 types of people on mumsnet.

The Smile & Nodders
The Fuck Offers
And the competitively not bothered about anything, ever, because we are so above everythingers.

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ConfusedInBath · 06/10/2015 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuestioningStuff · 06/10/2015 21:48

Confused I wasn't referencing you, but you can have bigger things to 'worry' about and still be irked by small things. I manage it all the time.

And if I was going to make something up to post on the internet I'd make it about something a bit more interesting than bloody Weetabix. Give me some credit.

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Pandora97 · 06/10/2015 22:14

People commenting on my shopping is one of my biggest bugbears. We all have them. In my case, it's probably left over from an eating disorder and being paranoid about people judging what I eat. That and I just can't stand nosy buggers. It wouldn't even occur to me to scrutinise what cereal someone was buying so I can't fathom why someone else would do it.

I don't think I fit any of those categories. I wouldn't smile and nod but I'm too much of a coward to swear at strangers so usually just roll my eyes (and then swear under my breath as I walk away).

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Moln · 06/10/2015 22:29

Yes he was rude, any unwelcome 'advice' tends to be rude, it seems unlikely he was attempting to help you come to a decision but to prove his superior knowledge. In other words a Pratt.

Whether you were rude or nor depends on how you reposnded, if it were in a short clipped way then no you weren't rude, it'd have just shown you were self conscious and bothered by him. If it were in a snarky abrupt manner then in would be rude. Whether being rude is acceptable when in a retort to rudeness is a personal opinion.

Personally in situations like this I tend to just repond with something along the lines of a "okaaay" then move on or if I'm feeling pissy I'd thank them for their "uninvited flawed advice".

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QuestioningStuff · 06/10/2015 22:43

Pandora yes I think that's why it bugs me so much too. I haven't had an eating disorder as such but I have definitely had issues with food and tend to be overly paranoid if I am buying what people consider 'junk food' (not Weetabix lol). So perhaps I projected a bit. Still think he was rude though.

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ephemeralfairy · 06/10/2015 22:50

I am definitely a Fuck Offer. I will have it on my gravestone. Grin

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TheMasterNotMargarita · 06/10/2015 22:57

Haha!
I'm a fuck offer too.
Although I'd like to be one of these people who come up with witty repostes on the spur of the moment.
OP you were not rude he was a weirdo.

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TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 06/10/2015 23:02

YANBU but never start a thread on MN about food, supermarkets or strange men. It brings out the MN nutrition zealots, the Priority Police ('haven't you got better things to worry about?') and the cool girls who think you should never be mean to the menz evah.

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IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 07/10/2015 08:09

I haven't had an eating disorder as such but I have definitely had issues with food and tend to be overly paranoid if I am buying what people consider 'junk food' (not Weetabix lol). So perhaps I projected a bit.

See, this is far more thought & effort than I'd put into some random saying something to me in the Supermarket.

If you don't know me, you have nothing to say to me that is applicable to me - it's all conjecture and thus, I'll give it the consideration it deserves - feck all!!

This works well on MN too, for all those people who decide that they know you because they don't like something you've posted. Click "ignore" & move on.....

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IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 07/10/2015 08:10

YANBU but never start a thread on MN about food, supermarkets or strange men. It brings out the MN nutrition zealots, the Priority Police ('haven't you got better things to worry about?') and the cool girls who think you should never be mean to the menz evah.

And the knobs, don't forget the knobs.... Wink

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EastMidsMummy · 07/10/2015 08:19

"Mind your own business" seems the perfect response to me for a patronising old man in a supermarket, whereas "Fuck off" seems a bit of an escalation.

Posters concerned about the mental energy it takes to form a reply should save their concern for him. If he's going to tell off everyone in a supermarket buying food as innocuous as Weetabix, he must spend all fucking day in there.

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Crazypetlady · 07/10/2015 08:47

People are saying hasn't the O.P got other things to worry about but she isn't the problem. It should be hasn't the cereal hater got better things to worry about than other peoples cereal choices.

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TheDowagerCuntess · 07/10/2015 08:58

I would've looked down at my feet, shuffled a bit, and been mortified.

But in my head, I would've responded as you did. I just wouldn't have had the actual guys. What a total arse. I bet he wouldn't have gone up to a 50-year old man taking weetbix off the shelf, and told him off.

Why is it ok for him to be rude to you apropos of nothing, but when you respond in kind, it's out of order...? Confused

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KatieLatie · 07/10/2015 09:12

Think that your response was rude, OP, to be honest. Although if I was in a bad mood and had raging PMS (like I have the past few days), I might have said something too Blush. Wouldn't nornally.

Of course nobody should comment on another person's shopping :(

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TheDowagerCuntess · 07/10/2015 09:16

Telling a man to 'mind his own business' when he was rude in the first place, is rude?

How?

Why?

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OnlyLovers · 07/10/2015 09:37

IKnow, See, this is far more thought & effort than I'd put into some random saying something to me in the Supermarket.

But perhaps you don't have the issues with food that this poster does?

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Olddear · 07/10/2015 10:09

Y'know, I walk into the supermarket, shop, pay, walk out. Not a bugger has ever commented on what's in my trolley. Ever. I feel quite snubbed now Confused

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/10/2015 10:12

I think you could have been politer in your response, tbh - he might have thought he was offering helpful info (in fact he was but you didn't want it so it wasn't his place), but all you needed to say was "Thanks but I think we'll stick with the Weetabix".

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TheDowagerCuntess · 07/10/2015 10:14

Fine Thumb but do you genuinely think he would've made the same comment to a 50-year old man putting weetbix in his trolley?

I can't see it, myself.

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maybebabybee · 07/10/2015 10:15

I don't think you were even vaguely unreasonable. He was incredibly rude in making an unsolicited comment like that - why on earth should you have been polite back?!

He might have 'thought' he was offering helpful info but he was still rude and you being rude back hopefully taught him that perhaps he shouldn't be going round making comments on what other people feed their children.

I live in an area where there are a million kids who go to prep school in daft flouncy outfits. I disagree ethically with the notion of private schools - so would I be justified if I went up to one of the parents of these children and started having a go at them about social mobility? No, I would be incredibly rude, and would deserve to be told to bugger off and mind my own business.

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/10/2015 10:21

I don't know, tbh, because I don't know what his motivation was, Countess , obviously.

Anyway, he got told, didn't he.

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GoodnightDarthVader · 07/10/2015 10:43

I have plenty of stuff to worry about in my daily life. Interaction with rude people still takes up a fair amount of my mental space and annoyance. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.

Like the woman in Sainsburys who had her trolley sideways at the end of the checkout (blocking me from getting my trolley to the end of the checkout on my side) who, when I politely asked her to move it, didn't apologise but instead looked at me like I had 2 heads (she moved the trolley though, so I know she understood me).

Or the trolley bloke in B&Q who stares at me every time I go there (he got a sarcastic wave from me yesterday for gawping).

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ARV1981 · 07/10/2015 10:48

I wouldn't have had the guts to say anything in response, but it would eat away at me.

I have had comments on my shopping before - I never buy fruit or veg in the supermarket as we get a veg box... someone said something to me about it when I was heavily pregnant. I think I just looked them in the eye, and said "I get a veg delivery" and walked off. I then spent a good hour composing witty put downs for if anyone ever comments on my choices again... I guess I don't have better things to do! Lol.

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Gruntfuttock · 07/10/2015 11:43

EastMidsMummy "Mind your own business" eems the perfect response to me for a patronising old man in a supermarket"

He was a young man. Why are so many people saying he was old? The OP said "He wasn't an old man he was probably not much older than me (Early 20s)"

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