to be fucking beyond furious with my ten year old daughter

[ovaryhill]

Had a call from fraud prevention at my bank today
Daughter has been playing Movistar Planet and has taken my bank acard nd spent £266 over the past couple of months!!!
I'm so upset I could cry

[NewLife4Me]

I think the dd is probably about 11/12 now and has probably paid the money back by now.

[fallenangel14]

Okay, what do you want out of this? For her to recognise that a) it really is stealing, even if you're not physically handling the money b) to appreciate how hard it is to actually earn money in the first place c) to learn how her actions have upset you?

Why not, once you've calmed down (and I would be as angry as you too), talk quietly to her about all these. And then, ask her to go away and come back with suggestions about how she thinks she could put things right. How could she 'repay' the loss?; how can she apologise and attend to the fact that she's made you now not trust her? What does she think needs to happen to regain that? What does she think would be an appropriate punishment.

It might not work, of course, but it might. Sometimes I think handing out punishments to kids lets them off the hook a bit in terms of them actually taking responsibility for things they've done wrong. Parents are seen as the ones causing them to do without, etc as opposed to kids appreciating that its their actions that have caused the punishment. It's just an idea but why not try this?

[Buttwing]

Oops so it is!!

[LagunaBubbles]

Ah just read the WHOLE thread and realised now its a few months old!!!

[Buttwing]

Op I feel your pain my 10 yo dd did this last year on the sims she spent almost £200 on fucking dolphin pools and other crap for her sims house. She got a total ban on all iPads, computers, xbox everything for over a year I was furious. Every time she moaned we reminded her she had stolen from us and the family she also did jobs to pay off the money.

[Dfg15]

Ooh cross posts! sorry

[Dfg15]

The thread title says she's ten

[MistressDeeCee]

Purple yes I just read thread title and thought "uh oh.."! Thanks

[2PurpleCrocs]

Mistress it didn't say in the OP, but it did say in the thread title.

[MistressDeeCee]

I read 1st page and was just about to say thread sounded weird, how on earth did everyone know this girl was 10 years old when it didnt say in the OP?! Anyway its a zombie one so alas, I shall never know..

[FairyFluffbum]

Zombie Thread

[TurnOffTheTv]

Zombie thread!

[Justaboy]

19lottie82 Never did find out but shes damn clever with computers, she's written a lot of code over time in C and C++ and it's a bit beyond me!

Comes naturally to her!

[WorriedWoman1234]

I haven't read the whole thread Ovary but please don't sell the dolls. Find some other way of your DD paying the money back.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

This thread is 4 months old! I'd wager it's been resolved now!

[19lottie82]

Nilzaneva24...... You "believe" you signed up for a 1 month membership via PayPal? So you didn't check the small print? It sounds to me like you signed up for a recurring payment with PayPal and didn't read the small print at he time. Sorry.

[19lottie82]

Justaboy how did a 7 year old "hack" you eBay and PayPal accounts? Do you mean you left
Yourself logged in? Or she managed to get a copy of your passwords?

[MySordidCakeSecret]

The thing is.. yanbu to be furious, what she did was wrong.

BUT i play one of these online games, and the lure of in game purchases is huge. They're very good at heaping pressure on to purchase things and often it's the only way to become established in the game.

If she was my daughter i'd delete her account, so she no longer reaps the benefits of her theft. I'd also confiscate her use of the device for a period and get her to work out how she wishes to pay you back whether via selling posessions or earning it.

[Justaboy]

One of my daughter's hacked my e-bay account and paypal and bought a few toys from some suppliers.

I did give her a telling off and was quite impressed with her hacking skills.

She was 7 years old at the time!

She's now doing a "hard science" subject at a Russell group Uni!

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Cool story, bro.

[Nilzaneva24]

Hello there, sorry to hear you are going through this. I'm there right now and I know is not pleasant.
Here's my story, but firstly, everyone beware of this company. Do not hand your personal payment details. It's a scam!!!!! We made a one of purchase for £9.99 (I believe 1 month membership) since then they have taken payments from my husbands PayPal account without the need of a password which leads us to believe they save your payment details unlawfully. I will now be pursuing this company and fingers crossed I can get anywhere. I suggest you do the same, don't let them get away with it! I logged into her account and clicked on buy coins and I took me directly to PayPal pay now, no password required =O I have researched this company since and there's many victims of their scams. Also, I went into the chat and surprise! Sexual comments going on, avoid totally. They have not responded my emails, mums like you and I should team up and report them to the correspondent authorities. Your daughter is not the card holder therefore she is not able to use your card and if she did the payment should be invalid, as she is your daughter and a minor I doubt she would be pursued for fraud but instead this company needs to be held accountable for scamming children with very little judgement. I personally will send them a letter recorded delivery.
Will update you on how it goes.
All the best and cheer up

[mellicauli]

It's funny, isn't it, how we (myself included, further up thread, selling toys & the like) are so hung up on punishing the child?

Surely we should be getting mad at the games company and wanting to punish them? I did have a look at the site. It's not exactly straightforward to understand how much money will be taken off you and when. How can we expect a 10 year old to have the necessary

Shouldn't we also be telling ourselves off just a little bit? We know there's no such thing as a free lunch. So aren't we a bit na??ve letting our kids playing "free" games, where rather than everyone getting charged ??2 per game, one mug in a hundred is fleeced for ??200 for buying "diamonds" or "coins". And for that matter, why aren't we teaching our kids that online "diamonds" have no intrinsic value, that you are really just buying air?

[Goldenbear]

The definition of 'severe' would suggest that 'severe' punishments 'are' wrong. It is not just a question of 'difference', a difference can be tolerated, if I thought 'severe' discipline was 'ok' then I would implement it myself. It therefore 'is' wrong IMO.

[MrsGentlyBenevolent]

Ovary, my sister was a star, right up until her mid teens (raised elsewhere to me, I might mention, had a lovely upbringing). Then, she made the mistake of taking up drugs. No one saw it coming, she had been a model child, never caused issues, she just wanted to fit in with her 'mates'. I was shocked, and disappointed in her to say the least. It never went to the super hard stuff, but for a little while I just couldn't see her as my beloved sister, she had quite frankly broken my heart with her behaviour. However, it wasn't forever, and making a bad choice, that ended with consequence, made her a better person in the end. Sorry, not trying to 'make it about me' again, I just know how different it is when you think 'I'd support family no matter what', to the actual shock and disappointment you actually feel when it does happen. It's natural to feel this way, to be angry with them, yourself. Wondering how it got to that place, did you miss something? Bad things happen, people of all ages make silly, selfish choices. But, there's always a light at the end of it.