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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child peeing in supermarket car park

85 replies

Daffodil1210 · 05/09/2015 22:43

DH and I were out shopping today and as we were getting DS out of the car and into his buggy, a family returned to their car parked just along from us having been shopping in the supermarket.

Cue one of the boys (around 7 or 8 years old) deciding to have a pee by the side of his car, actively encouraged by his mother as she loads her shopping and the other children into the car.

Is this normal and AIBU for being surprised at this? FWIW there is definitely a loo in the supermarket, and the only thing I can think is that perhaps the mother didn't want to have the hassle of taking him back in to use it.

OP posts:

DrTinkle · 06/09/2015 08:00

No Art I said you never see primary age girls peeing in the road. Your example was in the woods, with no facilities nearby. That is quite different. Of course we cannot inconvenience boys and men by making them walk a few yards to a loo.

May09Bump · 06/09/2015 08:11

Unless he had a medical condition, it is bloody lazy of the mother to let this happen. Shove the shopping in the boot and take him back into the shop. I'd rather my shopping suffer than let my 7 yr old see this as the norm. It's basic manners.

Yes toddlers, who despite asking for the 100th time whether they need the toilet, need to go now and there is no stopping it.

monkeysox · 06/09/2015 08:20

Better than him doing it in the car. Some supermarkets don't have a customer loo. My little girl almost pooped herself because asda wouldn't let her go. A kind supervisor saw sense and let her use the staff one.
When you've got to go and all that.
At least it was only a wee.

LittleLionMansMummy · 06/09/2015 08:40

4yo ds did this at a supermarket in France this year, but there was no customer toilet. I was still mortified though. He still struggles to hold it in if he needs to go. At 7 and with a toilet available I'd expect him to use it.

TheEagle · 06/09/2015 08:50

There was a thread last weekend about a little boy who had pooed in a maze and I think the conclusion was that public urination/defection is against byelaws in most parts of the UK.

I don't know if this is true for supermarket carparks.

Calling the police seems like a wildly inappropriate response.

honkinghaddock · 06/09/2015 08:56

Some 7 year olds have the same bladder control as a toddler. I obviously don't know about this 7 year old. Ds 9 is still in nappies but moving towards toilet training. This could well be an issue for him.

Bottlecap · 06/09/2015 08:58

Fine for a toddler in potty training, but I wouldn't allow it otherwise.

Binkybix · 06/09/2015 09:02

Seems a bit lazy - if the child really was 7 couldn't they have gone back themselves? Maybe I'm over estimating capabilities, but I think I would have been able to do this at 7.

We have a porta potty for 2 year old but not one of the gross bag ones. It's helpful when we're out and about.

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/09/2015 09:06

I think it's disgusting too tbh.

supermarkets usually have toilets.

in the woods with nothing around and no facilities is one thing.

car parks literally a minute away from a toilet is another and people should stop being so lazy and disgusting.

unless there's a medical condition of some kind preventing it, kids should be taken to a toilet. weeing in a car park is disgusting. people now have to walk through that to get to the shops.

the animal argument doesn't apply. it's illegal fir dogs to foul an area owners can be fined for not picking it up.

they can only wee where they are taken and I'm sure no one would allow their child to sniff and lick the butts of other chikdren...

SoupDragon · 06/09/2015 09:06

Well I haven't done this in a carpark but if we're walking home from school and halfway home ds starts jumping around saying he needs a wee I tell him to go up ahead and wee by a wall. My ds wee isn't really different then all the dogs wee everywhere.

If he's old enough to be at school, he is old enough to go to the toilet before leaving or wait til he gets home.

As for the comments about dog wee, would you let your child shit on the pavement too?

Dogs are animals. Children are humans and should behave like one.

Fine for a potty training toddler but otherwise it's rank.

Bakeoffcake · 06/09/2015 09:14

I wouldn't like to see a child doing that at 7 years old but would give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he had bladder issues and had to go urgently.

BathshebaDarkstone · 06/09/2015 09:40

I think at 7 a DC should use a loo if it's available. I have to disagree that a 7 year old can go back in and use the loo by himself though. I've only just started letting DS 4 use men's loos in cafés and McDonalds by himself, but it's always close to where I'm sitting.

Flashbangandgone · 06/09/2015 09:47

the animal argument doesn't apply. it's illegal fir dogs to foul an area owners can be fined for not picking it up.

An aside to the main point I know but I've never seen a dog owner try to 'pick up' dog wee!

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/09/2015 09:49

I was clearly talking about poo given I adressed wee in the sentences underneath.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/09/2015 09:50

If the boy does gave a medical condition he will gave to manage it so that this not continuing into teen if adulthood. If the boy did nit have a medical condition, it is very bad form and bad manners, when there is a toilet nearby. Men never grow out if it, I was walking along a path, a man just stood there on the side weeing, yuck, there were budges nearby, bloody gave good manners to do so discreetly. The world is not your toilet!

Flashbangandgone · 06/09/2015 09:54

My view is that you urinate/defacate in private unless there is no alternative, in which case you do it as discretely as possible.... So for that boy, either he goes back into the shop, or he waits, or if both these are not possible (unlikely for a 7 y/o) he goes discretely behind a tree or bush out of the way.

My DD (4) needed to go on walk to school...was clear there was risk of accident... So I took her behind a bush out of sight (unless you were peering to look). I think this was reasonable...

Happfeet2911 · 06/09/2015 11:22

During the Tour de France all the riders stop for a pee in the countryside, they are all grown men, how can anyone get worked up over a child doing the same !

Branleuse · 06/09/2015 11:24

i thought it was legal to pee against the wheel of your car

I wouldnt worry about it. Kids need to pee sometimes, and not always by a toilet. Its probably one of the least important issues in the world that people for some reason get opinionated on. Like which way round a toilet roll goes etc

Branleuse · 06/09/2015 11:25

happfeet, I think in france there is no cultural shame in a bloke peeing in public

WeAllHaveWings · 06/09/2015 11:41

If the boy is above school age (with no medical issues) in these circumstances he should be have been guided by his parent to use the toilets which would have only been 2 mins away. Very lazy and unimpressive parenting.

Greengardenpixie · 10/09/2015 22:36

Well in all fairness they have closed a lot of public toilets and some places wont let you use the toilet so wtf are you supposed to do? I agree that in this case their were the toilets in the supermarket. Although it doesnt apply in this case but technically the toilets in supermarkets are really for people using the supermarket or because of the cafe. They arent public toilets.

Aroundamulberry · 10/09/2015 22:44

Yanbu at that age. When my DS was 3/4 then he would just pee on the side of the road etc before it was too late for me to intervene. But age 7/8 yes we would definable head back to the supermarket loo.

Aroundamulberry · 10/09/2015 22:45

*definately

Aroundamulberry · 10/09/2015 22:47

*definitely

catfordbetty · 10/09/2015 22:48

I've never seen this happen and I'm pretty ancient so I guess my reaction would be more surprise than anything else. It is a tad gross, I agree but until every 7 year old starts doing it I wouldn't get too bothered about it.

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