To have refused to change DD3‘s outfit?

[Esmesgirls]

We were having some photos done today as a family, and MIL rang and asked if she could be in a few and watch. Last week, I went shopping for some new clothes for the DDs- really lovely dresses that suited their colouring and went with what DH and I would be wearing. However, we were getting some individual ones done at the start for DD3 (1 month) and MIL suddenly produced a new outfit and said she wanted to buy some photos of her granddaughter dressed nicely for herself! The outfit was a pink babies tutu, huge ruffle crochet headband and white t-shirt with DD 3s name (spelt wrong!) sewn on, and MIL refused to accept that I didn't want to wake up my peacefully sleeping baby, put her in an itchy outfit and then change her again. She was then horrible about the DDs clothes and refused to be in any of the pictures. I offered to let her put the outfit on DD3 at the end when we were done, at which point MIL refused because she said I'd spoilt the whole day for her and wasted her money! DD1 was upset because MIL said she could have looked a lot nicer if it wasn't for me, and the whole atmosphere of the day was spoilt. AIBU to think if I pay for the shooting, the pictures and the outfits, I get to decide what happens?
I have seen some of the photos, and even with mil's dark cloud, my DDs look stunning to me!

[Esmesgirls]

No, we're not travellers, and our parents really are both Jacob and Janet! MIL is the only grandparent left and DH is worried to complain in case she refuses to be a part in the DCs lives. I don't think it's good to have someone around them with no respect for me, but have resolved to ignore her.
Florrie- yes! DD1 is 16, DD2 is 3 and DD3 turned 5 weeks old today- all three are my absolute world.

[Kayden]

YANBU, MIL sounds fecking bonkers.

[ButterDish]

The outfit sounds gruesome, so YANBU on those grounds alone, even if your mil was a lot nicer (or more subtle!) about it. Because who actually wants a giant blown-up photo of a month old baby dressed like a circus monkey with her own name misspelled on her front?

My mil shares your MIL's taste in clothes, incidentally, and has bought my son more scratchy nylon horrors covered in guns, trucks and cartoon characters than you could shake a stick at. We now compromise on her buying him tacky pyjamas and slippers, but nothing we actually have to look at all day...

[DeeWe]

The wrong spelling makes me suspect it was more about that and you validating that than the actual outfit.

[ShelaghTurner]

Your parents were called Janet and Jacob and your DH's parents were called Janet and Jacob too? Wow, never mind your appalling MIL, that's pretty cool in itself!

[Florrieboo]

OP are you really 50 with a 1 month old baby? Good on you! I would love to have that much energy in 10 years time.

[NewFlipFlops]

YWNBU at all.

[binkiesandpopcorns]

Got to hand it to the MIL. She turns up, expects the OP to do things her way, and when OP says no, throws a tantrum and blames the OP for ruining the day . Would probably be more worried about what she said to your older child.

[Ruledbycatsandkids6]

Just be careful here op. It's a beautiful name but very unusual so you and your mil are very identifiable.

[MaryBerrysEyelashes]

Who was paying for the photo! Her?

[Florrieboo]

Weird to keep spelling her name wrong, it's like she is trying to make a point.

[CuppaSarah]

How come she only bothered getting a special outfit for dd3? Seems really unfair for your dds to see their grandparent only be interested in their baby sibling.

[Phoenix0x0]

YANBU!

How entitled is she!?

I would have been livid if I were in that position and even more so after the very mean passive/aggressive comments said to your daughter.

What did your DH say?

Personally, I would not be able to contain myself and would let her know exactly what I thought!

[ollieplimsoles]

Why did she want to come and 'watch and be in a few?' You were having photos of your immediate family, just you, dh and kids!

Sounds like interfering to me, I would have just said no to her being involved at all, never mind the dodgy outfit.

[Discopanda]

That's a very strange question to ask, TryToEngage, could I ask you why you want to know if they're a traveller family and what significance it may hold?

[TryToEngageBrainFirst]

Are you a traveller family?

[LittleprincessinGOLDrocks]

PMSL Hexadecimal1

[TheRealAmyLee]

YANBU. Did your DH get involved at all?

[Hexadecimal1]

Errrr, awkward question here - you and your dp aren't related are you?! He's not also your brother.....?

[FortyCoats]

*thought

[Esmesgirls]

Hexa, our mothers are both Janet as well!

[FortyCoats]

"Pay for the shooting"

For just a second I though you wanted to know if paying for a hit on your MIL was reasonable!

Oh and yanbu

[Aeroflotgirl]

Your MIL is a brat, never tell her anything again. Lovely name

[Hexadecimal1]

She sounds like a nightmare, but thanks for telling us the name! Drives me mad when people say "she mispronounces the name" and then don't tell you what it is

Lovely name. V unusual for both you and partners dads names to be Jacob!

[Esmesgirls]

Thank you! DD3s name is Jacoba (Jacko-ber) and MIL insists on pronouncing it as Jacoba-a (both mine and DH's fathers were called Jacob and DD3 named thus) and so spells it Jaycoba! It's so frustrating- even on congratulations cards a few of MILS friends have sent are spelt this way so she's evidently telling people her choice!