Lesbian Auntie Wedding

[Janeymoo50]

ok....so I have you're attention probably. I am gay. 50 years old. Female. I finally met the love of my life last year, planning wedding for next May. My darling niece has two little girls, I want them to be flower girls........my niece is delighted. How do we "explain" a gay wedding to 5 year olds???

[BananaInPyjama]

5 year olds accept everything you tell them...fairies collect teeth, mums know everything, anyone grown up can marry anyone grown up.

My then 5 year old was confused why Tony Abbott, PM of Aus would not allow men to marry men here...she thought he was mean (and she's right he is an ignorant pig- even denied his own sister had the right to marry her long time female partner).
Have a great day- congrats on finding love, which can be an elusive thing!

[Littleen]

Don't think you need to do any explaining... When two people love each other, they sometimes get married. My two very good friends got married (2 girls) and nobody did any explaining to the children, as they don't have the same ideas necessarily as adults might do.

[mugglingalong]

Ds (5) has been known to correct other dc when they say that boys can't marry boys. We don't have any close friends who are in same sex relationships but it is all that he has ever known so it seems obvious to him. It is a non-issue at that age. I would just ask her without making it sound as if it might be unusual.

'Auntie janeymoo50 and x are getting married and we would love it if you could be our flowegirls.'

Congratulations.

[BellsaRinging]

My son went to my sister's wedding to her female partner at age 3. No issue. He'd known them both since he was born, so it was just 'x and y are getting married'. Tbh he was more interested in the cake and seeing his cousins.

He has had some questions recently (he is now 10), as he has realised, from speaking to others at school, that most of his friends don't have aunts and uncles who are in gay/lesbian relationships (he has both). He didn't realise it was something to be remarked upon.

[Pedestriana]

I can't see a 5 year old having any problem with this at all.

Love the idea of wings! Is there going to be lots of glitter too? :)

Congratulations, by the way.

[emwithme]

They'll be fine.

When I asked my (nearly 6 year old) niece to be my flower girl it was just after the Royal Wedding.

The conversation went (on the phone, on her walk to school with her mum*):

Me: DN, and I are getting married. Would you like to be our flower girl?

DN: Will I wear a princess dress?
Me: Yes.
DN: Can I wear fairy wings?
Me: Yes, if you want to [for I am an excellent aunty - she didn't in the end, though]
DN: Will I get a day off school for it?
Me:No, it's on a Saturday.
DN: Will it be on TV? With a kiss on a balcony?
Me: No. But there will be photographs.
DN: But why won't it be on TV? You should be on TV.
Me: I know. But it won't. There'll be cake and pop and music to dance to and will be there.
DN: Oh, OK then. But only if I can have a beautiful princess dress.
Me: DN you will absolutely have a beautiful princess dress.

*I had previously checked with her mum that it would be OK, so she wasn't totally blindsided by this.

When I was little, I asked my DUncle if he was getting married (there was a spate of weddings in the family). He said no. I asked if he had a girlfriend. He said no, and then "talk to your mum". I did. She said that DUncle didn't like girls, he liked boys, and that that was OK (this was the early 80s).

I went back to see DUncle the next week and said "I know you don't like kissing girls, you like kissing boys. Do you have a boyfriend. Is your boyfriend?" and that was it. All over and done with, and I got a Rubiks Ball for being "cool".

[Hellochicken]

I agree you don't need any special explanation, if they haven't been to a wedding you could talk them through the day and what flower girl "duties" are ?posing for photos and smiling?

[FryOneFatManic]

Congratulations!

It all sounds awesome. And I love the idea of fairy wings

I hope it all goes well.

[Alfieisnoisy]

I doubt they will ask ...aa others have said.

I suspect they will just enjoy the day. If they do ask then it's simply a case of saying that everyone loves someone different.

Congratulatuons though. Have an amazing day xxx

[HermioneWeasley]

Oh and saul LOLing at your DS and the cheese wedding cake. I would be EXACTLY the same

[GrannyWW]

Op think its your age (am 50 as well ) - The kids are cool with it :)

[HermioneWeasley]

Congratulations!

As others have said, your nieces will be thrilled and your day sounds fab! Be as excited as you like.

[NameChange30]

OP, congrats!

And SaulGood, your kids are awesome!

[Hoppinggreen]

saul my Dd was the same at the wedding of a friend a couple of years ago.
" it's not a cheesecake, it's a cake made of cheese???"
" so it's actually made. Of. Cheese"
" they've taken actual cheese and made it look like a cake"
All accompanied by a bemused/pitying expression as if there had been a terrible catering error!!!!

Congrats OP and have a lovely day x

[WorraLiberty]

Same way you'd explain any wedding.

[maddy68]

Why are you explaining it? I didn't feel the need to explain to my nieces when I married my husband, and I didn't feel the need to explain when I was bridesmaid at a lesbian wedding
Just enjoy it x

[MrsHathaway]

Yabvvvu. Let them wear the Elsa dresses.



What with the windmill and all it sounds divine. All the very best to you both

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Nothing to explain. Don't apologise for your happiness!

[YeOldTrout]

I'm another one who doubts they'll even ask, But If your nieces ask, there are just so many ways you can spin it.

"Yes that was the old-fashioned way, but then some people figured out that more people should get the chance to get married, it wasn't fair to stop people being happy." etc.

[SaulGood]

Oh yes they will want to know if there's cake.

DS was horrified when SIL's cake was made entirely of different cheeses. He stood there like a mini Peter Kay, gasping "cheese... cake..." in absolute disgust. He calmed down when there were other cake options brought out but he gave this massive cheese cake the side eye for at least an hour. I can't believe a child from my body dislikes cheese quite so much.

He'd love the wings though! DD wouldn't and would still insist upon either an Iron Man helmet or full ninja turtle gear. She'd make a weird Prime Minister though as she says herself "anything's better than Cameron".

My two remember the "gay wedding" (seriously, just a wedding) because there was a bouncy castle, an easter egg hunt, a BBQ, giant colouring books and cream teas the next day. I don't think either of them have ever mentioned the fact it was two women. Although, I should mention it was first same sex wedding in that county and the registrar accidentally said "I now pronounce you husband and wife" and thankfully, everybody laughed.

[sashh]

A 5 year old's concept of marriage is very different to an adult.

5 year olds often think they can marry a parent, their best friend and the dog, all at the same time.

Have a fabulous time and pleas have flower girls in Elsa dresses

[Teabagbeforemilk]

Agree with pps. No need to explain a 'gay wedding' . You are getting married, it's a wedding. If she asks, which I don't think she will, just say 'any 2 people who love eachother very much can get married'.

I also agree with pp says we should drop the term gay marriage. It's marriage.

When dd was 7 my hair dresser (also does her hair) announced he was gettin married to his partner, who owns the salon with him. Dd didn't even ask, she just hugged them and said congratulations. Never even asked about it after we left. Total non issue

[Italiangreyhound]

Congratulations.

Love the Elsa dress comment!

[Zillie77]

My 16 year old son already has his outfit picked out for his gay uncle's wedding, and he's not even engaged quite yet. This generation of kids coming up get it, on a fundamental level-it's a beautiful thing to see!

[CloserToFiftyThanTwenty]

I think a lot of year 6 think any marriage is weird or gross