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AIBU?

To think this friendship age gap is strange?

64 replies

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 02/07/2015 19:10

My 27 year old ex is good friends with an 18 year old. He lives with him, goes out with drinks for him etc. This friend is bisexual and I'm beginning to wonder whether my ex is too but that's besides the point. AIBU to find it weird that he's friends with such a young boy/man?

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OttiliaVonBCup · 02/07/2015 19:53

Even if he was more than friends, the young man is over the age of consent.
It's their life, they are free to live it how they wish.

CandyAppleFudge · 02/07/2015 19:55

I'm 22 and one of my close friends is 39 and another is 30.

ohtheholidays · 02/07/2015 19:58

Bloody hell OP that's only 9 years,god knows what you'd make of me then.

I'm 40 and I have friends that are 16 and I have friends that are in they're 70's.I think it's lovely if you can get along really well with people of different ages and backgrounds.It makes life far more interesting!

TheHouseOnBellSt · 02/07/2015 20:01

Oh God when I was 27 I was SO young and my best friend was 19! We're still great friends now! I'm 42.

IsadoraQuagmire · 02/07/2015 20:03

Not strange at all. I'm 18, most of my friends are older than me (ranging from 5 to 60 years older currently)
Even when I was very young I usually enjoyed talking to my friends' parents rather than the actual friends.

dancewiththetreedoug · 02/07/2015 20:04

One of my closest friends turns 40 this year, I have only just turned 27.
Age is just a number as they say!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 02/07/2015 20:07

So he's a father of a young baby and he's acting like a teen?

I get the issue op...

MummaV · 02/07/2015 20:15

When I was 18 my partner was 26 and many of my friends were in the 25-30 age bracket. Now I'm 25 and in my group of friends who I see regularly the age range goes from 17 to 45. We all see each other at least a fortnightly basis, usually all together and all talk at least a few times a week via whatsapp or Facebook messenger group chats.

I cant work out if its the age gap that's actually bothering you or the fact that you believe your ex may be bisexual (because he has a bisexual friend?) which surely is irrelevant as he is your ex?

paddypants13 · 02/07/2015 20:16

One of my colleagues is nearly 60 but I consider him to be a very good friend as well. (I'm 34). We just get in well, I think it's because we have the same silly sense of humour. He's also much wiser than me so great for advice. So YABU.

januaryblues11 · 02/07/2015 20:17

I'm 32. one of my closest friends is 72. I also regularly go out with a group of women aged 42, 46 and 54. age is just a number.

TheCatsMother99 · 02/07/2015 20:19

One of my friends predominately has friends who are 15 years or so older than her. She's 25.

They get on, have shared interests etc so what's the harm?

Earthbound · 02/07/2015 20:23

I met one of my closest friends at uni. I was 20 and she was 45 (mature student). We have always got along famously. She's nearly 60 now and it doesn't matter a jot. She's fabulous. YABVU.

CatMilkMan · 02/07/2015 20:24

One of my colleagues has twin 19 year olds, a girl and a boy I started playing tennis with the girl and squash with the boy, I would consider them very good friends we started playing 2 years a go.
Yabu

Talismania · 02/07/2015 20:25

Yabu I've lots of older friends and always have had,

LarrytheCucumber · 02/07/2015 20:29

I'm 63 and one of my favourite friends is 82, another 46. I think that is one of the joys of adulthood, that you don't have to choose friends from a narrow age range.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 02/07/2015 20:32

When I was 18 I had a friendship with a much older lady and a much older man. I've always been called 'an old soul' and it was about shared interests like poetry and a sport, there was nothing remotely dodgy going on. If however you suspect he may be bisexual and possibly having an affair then surely that's the real issue here regardless of age.

Whathaveilost · 02/07/2015 20:34

Some of the friendship dynamics in our family

Ds1 19. one of his circles of fiends are mainly male between the ages of 24 and 52. There a few women in that group. He goes drinking and to sporting events with them. I know them all and he askes if I want to join them and they also invite me and DH to go out

DH 52 circle of friends between the age of 28. - 52.im friendly with them and I am included in stuff if I want but they are defiantly his friends.

DS2 age 16 group of friends between the ages of 15 -21 nice crowd. Again I get invited (sometimes!, not as often as the other two groups) to join then on events.

I'm happy with the relatively big gap in ages with all the groups because everything is transparent. I know the people and I am included if I want to be( I know in your case he is your ex)
I have a close ( not best friend ) male friend who is 20 years 1 month younger than me and we go to the cinema, skating, trips away etc. defiantly nothing odd going on.

SistersofPercy · 02/07/2015 20:35

I'm coming up for 42 and have a good friend I was at Uni with (I was a mature student), he's 26. I don't see him too much lately as he's off pursuing his career but he still messages and we catch up when he's back.

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel · 02/07/2015 20:37

Im 36 and I find that I seem to get on best with people who are either quite a bit older than me or quite a bit younger than me. I never seem to really gel with people my own age. Not sure why though.

iklboo · 02/07/2015 20:37

I'm 46. I have friends aged between 21 and 65. 9 years is nothing.

butterfly133 · 02/07/2015 21:00

I'm 39, my youngest friend is 26 and my oldest is 91. I also have a friend with uni age kids. I really enjoy hanging out with them too. If they lived round the corner or something, I can totally imagine going to the pub with them.

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 02/07/2015 21:53

Ok so I am being unreasonable! I suppose I've just always struggled with how immature he is for his age and I thought maybe becoming a dad would make him grow up a little but it seems to have done the opposite (not just because of his teenage friend). I know the bisexual thing is irrelevant but I'm curious to know whether he actually is or not, I can see something in his smile when he talks about one of our gay friends and it's always stood out for me. Like I said, it's not the age gap that bothers me as such, it's the fact that his friend is 18 and to me still behaves like a child. He's also encouraged my ex to start smoking again and they both drive along in his pimped up car puffing away. Makes me so angry.

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whois · 02/07/2015 22:20

I am late twenties. I have friends from my hobby spanning in age range from early twenties up to 50.

Not all age gaps have to be strange.

gobbynorthernbird · 02/07/2015 22:43

Why are you angry? And why do you blame this friend for your ex smoking?

wheresthelight · 03/07/2015 06:00

How old are you op because I am afraid you are sounding like a petulant teenager in the throws of "he can only be my friend" jealousy

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