To think this friendship age gap is strange?

[bluejeanswhiteshirt]

My 27 year old ex is good friends with an 18 year old. He lives with him, goes out with drinks for him etc. This friend is bisexual and I'm beginning to wonder whether my ex is too but that's besides the point. AIBU to find it weird that he's friends with such a young boy/man?

[allyouneedisloveandginandtonic]

I agree - it's completely normal for age not to be an issue. Surely it's the person you are friends with and not how many birthday cakes they have had compared to you.

Incidentally though why do (some) people become squeamish when thinking about age gap partnerships when age gap friendships are pretty normal?

[nowttodowithme]

I'm 46 and having lunch with a very good friend tomorrow, she's 26. Don't see the problem really!

[Alisvolatpropiis]

My dad is 51 and his closest male friend is 28. I don't think it's weird or that they're having a relationship on the quiet. They just share common interests.

Yabu.

[chrome100]

I'm 34. This year I am going on holiday with my friends, who range in age from 23 to 47. We all get on very well and the age difference doesn't matter.

[redshoeblueshoe]

Good for you blue - bloody hell - she'd have to think about it I don't think she'll get her act together enough - but that is good news

[bluejeanswhiteshirt]

redshoe she hasn't seen dd yet. Ex asked her and she said she would have to think about it and then called me to say she wanted to take dd out for the day. Not a chance!

[bluejeanswhiteshirt]

wheresthelight I'm 25 and not jealous in the slightest. My only concern is what kind of role model he'll be to dd when he's going out and getting wasted with teenagers every week and squatting in an 18 year old's box room after leaving us 3 months ago. There's a million reasons why I'm not happy with his behaviour, this is just a small example.

[GlitzAndGigglesx]

I'm 22 and all my friends ages vary between 25-50. Some are from work but we get pissed socialise outside of work and speak often. I guess it's just who you click with

[Nabootique]

I have friends aged between 18 and 60 odd, and I'm somewhere near the middle. 9 years is nothing, really.

[RachelRagged]

I was friends with a 30 year old Man when I was 17 . Looking back on it all as an older adult I think he had LD's *talking early 80s here so when he was born likely it was lumped under Backwards (the words at the time, not mine). Nothing untoward ever ever occurred.
Also, when I was about 12 my best friend was around 9 (so not a huge gap) , though I was closer to her sisters age I got along more with the 9 year old .

Honestly I would not fret OP .

[AlwaysDancing1234]

If he is being childish it's his issue not the friends age that's the problem. My DSis used to have a very childish friend who acted like a teenager and she was well into her 30's! It's the people involved that are your problem here.

[redshoeblueshoe]

I've just remembered your X was being a knob, who wanted his alcoholic mum to see your DC. I thought then he sounded immature. Sounds like he is reverting to his teens. I hope his M didn't see your DC.

I think you've guessed IRL lots of people have friends of all ages its also something I love about MN - you can't tell how old people are.

[Gem124]

I'm 29 and one of my closest friends is 49, totally different lives but we just click.

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

I'm 32 and one of my really good friends is 68. We chat all the time. I think the issue becomes less of a problem once you are a grownup.

[wheresthelight]

How old are you op because I am afraid you are sounding like a petulant teenager in the throws of "he can only be my friend" jealousy

[gobbynorthernbird]

Why are you angry? And why do you blame this friend for your ex smoking?

[whois]

I am late twenties. I have friends from my hobby spanning in age range from early twenties up to 50.

Not all age gaps have to be strange.

[bluejeanswhiteshirt]

Ok so I am being unreasonable! I suppose I've just always struggled with how immature he is for his age and I thought maybe becoming a dad would make him grow up a little but it seems to have done the opposite (not just because of his teenage friend). I know the bisexual thing is irrelevant but I'm curious to know whether he actually is or not, I can see something in his smile when he talks about one of our gay friends and it's always stood out for me. Like I said, it's not the age gap that bothers me as such, it's the fact that his friend is 18 and to me still behaves like a child. He's also encouraged my ex to start smoking again and they both drive along in his pimped up car puffing away. Makes me so angry.

[butterfly133]

I'm 39, my youngest friend is 26 and my oldest is 91. I also have a friend with uni age kids. I really enjoy hanging out with them too. If they lived round the corner or something, I can totally imagine going to the pub with them.

[iklboo]

I'm 46. I have friends aged between 21 and 65. 9 years is nothing.

[DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel]

Im 36 and I find that I seem to get on best with people who are either quite a bit older than me or quite a bit younger than me. I never seem to really gel with people my own age. Not sure why though.

[SistersofPercy]

I'm coming up for 42 and have a good friend I was at Uni with (I was a mature student), he's 26. I don't see him too much lately as he's off pursuing his career but he still messages and we catch up when he's back.

[Whathaveilost]

Some of the friendship dynamics in our family

Ds1 19. one of his circles of fiends are mainly male between the ages of 24 and 52. There a few women in that group. He goes drinking and to sporting events with them. I know them all and he askes if I want to join them and they also invite me and DH to go out

DH 52 circle of friends between the age of 28. - 52.im friendly with them and I am included in stuff if I want but they are defiantly his friends.

DS2 age 16 group of friends between the ages of 15 -21 nice crowd. Again I get invited (sometimes!, not as often as the other two groups) to join then on events.

I'm happy with the relatively big gap in ages with all the groups because everything is transparent. I know the people and I am included if I want to be( I know in your case he is your ex)
I have a close ( not best friend ) male friend who is 20 years 1 month younger than me and we go to the cinema, skating, trips away etc. defiantly nothing odd going on.

[AlwaysDancing1234]

When I was 18 I had a friendship with a much older lady and a much older man. I've always been called 'an old soul' and it was about shared interests like poetry and a sport, there was nothing remotely dodgy going on. If however you suspect he may be bisexual and possibly having an affair then surely that's the real issue here regardless of age.

[LarrytheCucumber]

I'm 63 and one of my favourite friends is 82, another 46. I think that is one of the joys of adulthood, that you don't have to choose friends from a narrow age range.