University open days

[haveabreakhaveakitkat]

Dd (17) is going into her last year of college so is looking at universities for next year. Most have open days happening in the next few weeks. Three are within 60 miles so can do those quite easily in a day. One is 150 miles and one nearly 200 miles which would involve long drives and probably overnight stays.

We're looking at the next 5/6 weekends being taken up driving around the country. We have two other children to accommodate too.

AIBU to think that in this day and age she can get a good 'feel' for the place online? and ask any questions by email? The websites are very thorough. I haven't said any of this to her. She's excited about the whole thing but I'm thinking just visit the closer ones and check out the others online and if she gets into the further away ones we'll then plan to visit before she starts.

We actually have two excellent universities within our city - just a bus ride away from our house - but she's adamant she wants to move away and do the whole 'going away to uni' thing!

[missmoon]

I would strongly suggest that she visit the universities she is considering, and speak to current students if she can. It's such an important decision to make, and in order to get a feel for them you need to visit in person (I'm a lecturer and also work in admissions/outreach).

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

Theycallmemellow i can assure that parents definitely do accompany their children on uni open days. I barely saw anyone without parents at the ones we've been to.

[haveabreakhaveakitkat]

I'm really scared but proud she wants to be independent. I left college on a Friday and the next day was on the train to London to live and start my first job. It was the most exciting time of my life! I know she'll love it.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

OP, there seem to be another phase of open days in September and October, but personally we want to finish in September as DSes school seem to want personal statements and application filled in by October half term, so we want to be finished by then, so that might be worth considering.

[Floisme]

Parents are definitely expected to go! But it doesn't mean you have to tail around with your kids - there's so much to see that we split up when we got there and met up to compare notes at the end of the day.

[Gemauve]

OP, there seem to be another phase of open days in September and October,

Most departments run applicant visitor days in winter and spring, too. So it's perfectly OK to slap down on the UCAS form some places you're a bit ho-hum about, and look at them later if the places you were more certain of don't come through with offers.

DSes school seem to want personal statements and application filled in by October half term

That's the Oxbridge and medicine tail wagging the everyone else dog.

[eatyourveg]

You definitely can't get a feel of a place just from the website, they will only put the glossy lovely bits there and you won't be able to tell if the halls are smelly (one of ds's criteria) You'll have no idea how friendly and approachable or standoffish the lecturers are and no opportunity to ask questions unless you email the admissions tutor. I also noticed that ds has been checking out the other students at the places we've been to, one place had very few boys at his subject talk which worried him a bit so he spoke to one of the student ambassadors - not something I think you would necessarily get from a website.

We're in Kent and ds has booked open days for every weekend in June all at the other end of the country. We did 3 by car and the remaining 2 are by train. I bought a 2together railcard and booked well in advance so it didn't turn out to be horrendous. Dh will have to stay behind to look after ds2 but ds3 wants me to go as he wants another pair of eyes and ears so he can have another opinion if he wants help making his decision. I would say do whatever you can to help your dd and if that means she wants you going along, then go with her.

[MiddleAgedandConfused]

Going through the same thing ourselves and I would say you can't do it online. DD has already written 2 Uni's off because of the more detailed course info they provide and the 'feel' of the place. Think you need to go. Sorry

[OhNoNotMyBaby]

YABU - there is no substitute for visiting a place. None at all.

[PanGalaticGargleBlaster]

Might be worth giving her a few hours to herself to have a wander around the campus while you grab a coffee or soomething. No disrespect but she probably does not want to be poking her head into the Student Union building / bar or chatting to other students with her mum in tow.

Most open days will involve a tour of the department, a chat to her potential future tutors about the course and a wider tour of the campus by one of the faculty students who has been bribed with ?10 to show prospective undergrads around.

Also, find out where the main student accommodation areas are and have a casual drive around those places to see what the vibe is. A flashy campus is often bookended with some dire student digs that require a one hour trek across town through some ropey areas.

[Baaaaaaaaaaaa]

Oh stop it you lot. KitKat. Do what your dd asks you to do, take no notice of this lot.

My dd is currently looking at unis and one would have cost £500 to visit (trains, hotel and food/drinks). Whilst I was prepared to pay that if she was really, really interested in that particular university, but it was on her 'seconds' list so will only be visited if the others (which she's really, really interested in) don't appeal once she's been to them.

Some unis she's visiting on her own. Some she's going with school to. Some she's taking advantage of open lectures she's attending to get a feel for the places and others I'll go with her.

[NinkyNonkers]

Could just one parent go?

[Snugglepiggy]

Over the space of several years I went to 8/9 open days with my three DDs .A couple they went to on their own but tbh they asked me to go with them and it was a very special time that I cherish the memory of.Their dad went to a couple also.We were lucky enough to have the funds to travel ,stay overnight at one of them ,and treat it as a mum / daughter day out but I very much left the asking of questions, itinerary of the day up to each daughter on each occasion.I was conscious of them going out into the big wide world soon,and very proud of how mature they were becoming, and also having not gone to university myself just nosey to see what each one was like,and the various cities I'd never visited.
So I have very happy memories of each of those Open days.

[lantien]

My parents back in the day insisted I come up with a short list of Uni to visit, from the longer applied to, as doing all was impossible they said. I think it was 5 of the I think 8.

Picked up a lot of stuff going round that wasn't obvious by listening and getting a feel of the staff and place.

They'd already placed limits of where I could apply - we were in midlands - so any where in England or wales was fine - Scotland and N.Irland not as too far.

Practical considerations - getting there and back start and end of year would be dependent on them as I had no car - and that was as far as they'd consider as it was doable in a day. If I been interested in a rarer course I think I would have been annoyed as it was worked out quite well.

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Agree Gemauve, personally I visited my favourites but put down a couple of extras which I wasn't so fussed about. I had a local back up option which I was ok with and a couple of top choices, then I filled the rest of the spaces with ones with good reputations.

If I'd been turned down for the favourites then I'd have gone and visited the gap fillers to choose between them and the more local one. Mind you, I did the visits myself too - including going down to Oxford from Edinburgh on the night bus a few times!

[haveabreakhaveakitkat]

Snugglepiggy. That's made me well up a bit.. sniff

[DarthVadersTailor]

I went to open days myself, I live in the SE and took a national express coach to York and saw it for myself. Can't your DD do this with the universities farther away? She could check them online yes, and I'd do this first anyway but going definitely gives a whole other feel a website never can. You don't have to chauffeur her to them all though, if she wants to live and study somewhere hundreds of miles away she should get used to the travel aspect anyway and what better way than to do the journey by coach/train?

[Imustgodowntotheseaagain]

Another advantage of going to visit is the chance to meet current students and get the real, unvarnished truth - not the website version!

[Libitina]

For over subscribed courses ie midwifery, they do look at who attended their open days when it comes to their final decision if candidates tie for places.

I know someone who lost out on a place because of this. Make sure she goes and make sure that she has signed in somewhere too.

[haveabreakhaveakitkat]

Thanks Libitina, that's good to know.

Just had another chat and she's set on me going along with her. We're doing our first one June 4th. Only 4 hours and three changes on the train

[dougierose]

OP, I feel for you. I too have a DD(17) and am in the same boat. You are also coming in for a hard time from these other posters. Open Days are designed BOTH for students and parents; not least for parents to know what they're spending their money on.

FWIW, today DD went to Durham with a friend on the train.
She is going to UCL in Sept and I'll probably go with her to London on the train then go shopping whilst she snoops about.
We are going to stop by at St Andrews as a family as a holiday detour, her boyfriend's family are taking her to Edinburgh, I'll take her to Exeter as it's en route to my own DF.. she can go to Sussex on her own as quite frankly I can't be arsed and I don't know about Keele - I'll either shove her on a train or drive her.

So I suppose go as a family to the ones you want to , and don't go to the ones you don't.

[Fauxlivia]

I've just been through this with ds1(18). Virtually everyone had a parent with them. Uni education is very expensive - too expensive to get wrong. I'm going to be paying out a lot of money in the next few years, I want to know what I'm paying for is worth it.
I strongly recommend going with your dd to open days - you will notice things that she is oblivious to and vice versa.

[nowahousewife]

we're on the train heading home from an open day and one thing that struck us was that we really didn't see any kids there alone. The vast majority were with parents and a few were with a mate or two. We're accompanying out DD to 4 and 2 she's going to with friends. We've got three this side of summer and then 3 in Sept.

DD loved today's uni and said it was far better than it's website. We also got to have a good look around the town which was also a selling point. Today's uni was what she was calling her 'aspirational' choice and as another poster said further up it will really spur her on to get the grades she needs.

Don't know if that helps, but try and give her all the support you can OP.