To be angry at DH

[MorgWorg]

Today is my DH'S first father's day as we have a 2 month old DS. I made him a card, bought him a photo mug and his favourite chocolates. Had planned on bringing him coffee in his new mug with croissants in bed with the card.

Last night he went out for drinks and got back at 3am drunk. He does nights (I take a medication that makes me too drowsy) and didn't let me know he'd be so late, and anyway, he was too drunk so sensibly went straight to spare room. This means I haven't slept.

He's still in bed except waking up to vomit. I've offered coffee but he doesn't want to eat or drink. I was going to make a roast too but now he doesn't want it.

He doesn't go out loads but when he does he gets wasted. I guess I expected him to calm down now we have a baby and because today was Father's Day.

AIBU for being upset? He's otherwise a wonderful dad and does deserve to cut loose but I feel like the say is ruined.

[iggymama]

Sorry, cross posted.

[googoodolly]

I think his drinking is more of a concern here than Father's Day, tbh. I wouldn't be happy if DP went out every other week and got so smashed he ruined the entire weekend with his hangover and vomiting. That's shitty, selfish behaviour from a grown adult who has a small baby and a wife on medication at home.

Going out drinking and coming home at 3am is fine so long as you can get up and manage the next day - not when you're so smashed you can't even get out of bed and all you do is throw up for the next 11+ hours.

I'm sorry but I find this kind of behaviour really unattractive in a grown adult. He's not a teenager anymore. He's an adult with responsibilities and a child at home. Once in a blue moon, okay, it happens to the best of us, but do you really want every other weekend ruined because of this?

[pandarific]

'selfish prick'? Really?

The OP is the one who is making a fuss over fathers day - it's meant to be from children to their parent, and her baby is too young to understand what the deal is. YABU to be cross at him for ruining plans that - presumably - he didn't know about.

Also, posters saying he's U for being hungover are being U. Hangovers happen, especially when you don't drink that much in general. Leave him alone, poor guy.

[googoodolly]

pandarific OP has said this has happened four times since baby was born, and baby is only two months old - that's every other weekend. That's not someone who doesn't drink much in general, that's someone who binge drinks and doesn't know when to stop.

[pandarific]

I've just read OPs later comments, and I retract the above - he did know about the plans, and he has been drinking a lot regularly. YANBU to be annoyed.

[googoodolly]

X-post

[MorgWorg]

He's up, extremely contrite and quite upset and said he has been selfish. He's bought the baby upstairs for a cuddle and I'm going to make coffee and croissant.

[MorgWorg]

Selfish with drinking I mean. The every other week thing isn't what would have normally happened I think, there's been a rush of important birthdays I've sent him off to. That's my fault a bit in wanting to make sure he gets a break I've gone a bit overboard. Anyway he's up so we'll have more of a chat about the drinking and will get on with our day. Thank you for your replies :)

[Gileswithachainsaw]

drinking til that state is ridiculous anyway. not the kind of behaviour you expect from someone who has a family. If he'd wanted a night out and knows you need medication to sleep then why didn't he arrange for a baby sitter for the night. expecting you to pick up the slack of a useless hungover mess on top of not having slept as you couldn't tale your medication is highly selfish and inconsiderate tbh.

[googoodolly]

Glad he's up at last Morg and the fact that he feels upset is probably a good thing. Maybe it's time for him to cut down on the nights out and give YOU some time off. You don't say if you're BF but if not, you could go out on a Saturday night with your friends or even out on your own for some peace. He certainly owes you some time to yourself, anyway!

Hope things improve

[diddl]

"That's my fault a bit in wanting to make sure he gets a break I've gone a bit overboard."

Of course it's not your fault.

It's entirely possible for an adult to go out & come home at a reasonable time & not pissed!