Regarding pregnancy announcement on FB?

[Curtesytome]

I'm 15+6 weeks pregnant with baby no.2, I've had several bleeds over the last 6 or so weeks and have been fraught with worry so have waited until yesterday to announce our news via FB.

DP has a DD from a previous relationship who is nearly 6 and together we have an almost 2 year old DD.

On my post I simply put "delighted to announce baby No.2 on its way, after a worrying few weeks all is well"

Someone has shown DSD "D"M my FB post and she has rang DP playing absolute holy hell because by saying baby no.2 I have not "acknowledged" DSD and acted as though she doesn't exist. . . . . . . Hmm yeah, after EVERYTHING I do for her but that's anther post entirely.

I had thought about putting baby no.3 but equally that would've sounded as though I thought myself a replacement for DSD's DM and wouldve caused even more of an uproar. She ,are my previous pregnancy difficult, telling DP that she'd heard rumours that he might not be the baby's father. She rang DP constantly in tears and even went around telling everybody that DD looked nothing like DP.

I seriously can't be arsed with another stressful pregnancy because of her.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

She sounds jealous. It doesn't make her a monster. She had a family with your dp once, and it's been taken away. Not saying you're to blame as he could have met you after they split and I don't want to know, but the green eyed monster is bound to be there. It's only a natural human reaction.
Yes of course for you it's baby number 2 for you but for your partner it is baby number 3, so perhaps she feels her dd is getting pushed out.
Perhaps she is jealous of your pregnancy.

[MrsV2012]

This is her problem OP, not yours. She sounds a petty, bitter nightmare tbh, as a pp said, "as a SM your place is in the wrong" ...it is shit I've been there myself- you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
With some exP's, striking the right balance is hard impossible

Seeing you and her EX dp happy wouldn't be an issue to her if she'd "moved on" and was as "blissfully happy" as she claims to be. This has nothing to do with your DSD's feelings, I'm sure she's just as wanted and included in yours and her Daddy's life, this is a bitter ex trying to dampen your happy news silly cow

Congratulations on your pregnancy, enjoy it, and don't let this woman take one bit of shine off your happy time.

[Curtesytome]

Thank you anxious. We've had a very rough couple of weeks, fraught with worry and stress and more stress due to how DSDs DM reacted last time.

Everything seems fine with baby after numerous scans, appointments etc so yes, I am over the moon to be expecting MY 2nd baby. It's just a shame that she has to try to chip away at our happiness, yet again although she has apparently "moved on" and is "blissfully happy."

[ProvisionallyAnxious]

Balaboosta - unless I've misunderstood the person making the fuss is the OP's partner's ex, not his mother.

I don't think you are BU, particularly in the context of her making things difficult during your last pregnancy.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and it's easy for us here to say "you shouldn't have referred to numbers at all", but I don't think that's fair. You were announcing something joyful in the manner that felt right to you and were, I would imagine, expecting appropriately pleasant responses rather than someone picking apart your language for unintended slights!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, OP.

[Curtesytome]

balaboosta nothing was mentioned about grandparents, read the post properly before commenting!

[Balaboosta]

I think it was tactless. "AIBU to think I can say whatever u want?" Well yes - freedom of speech and all that but the price of that is that you can offend people. Which is what has happened here. YABU. GM feels other grandchild airbrushed from the picture. She is concerned about that happening and is watching out for the emotional interests of the child.

[Strokethefurrywall]

How much wine did you have HawkEyeTheNoo??

You sound like my mum trying to get my name right, haha!

[HawkEyeTheNoo]

Er I'm gonna step away from the wine and go to bed "strokethefurrywall" you need a NC so my wine induced fingers and memory might get it right!!!

[HawkEyeTheNoo]

Sleep! What a bloody good post!! Exactly! Fanny baws ex is just jealous! Feedthefurryhorse (feelthefurrywall) again another good point well made!

[WestEast]

She can get to fuck.

YOU announced YOUR second child.

[Curtesytome]

Bless you sleep thank you for your perogative!! You sound like an angel x

[sleeponeday]

She is an utter loon, OP. Don't let her petulant bullshit put a dent in your day. I say that as an expert step-daughter (currently on SM #3) and expert half-and-step-sister (6, in total). I have never had any stepkids, and my husband and I have no other kids with anyone but one another. If I have any bias, it's not in your favour - all my steps/halves are younger than me by at least a decade.

You didn't say your DP's second child was on their way - you said your second baby. As you say, ex would have gone loop the loop had you said third child en route, too. You can't win.

You sound like my second stepmum. I love her to bits. The ex... sounds like my first. And the only reason I don't hate the fact my father ever met her is my half-brothers, who are fab.

[Strokethefurrywall]

Hurtful to whom though? How likely is it that the 6 year old DSD is going to see the post and think "oh my God they've left me out!" Her feelings are the ones that matters (and the OP's) and unless she's an exceptional reader, understands the intricacies of the OP's facebook posting then I highly doubt she'll be hurt.

Unless someone tells her. Which would make them a twat.

[saturnvista]

I can see what she means. It could be hurtful. I would not have chosen to number the children at all in these circumstances.

[PHANTOMnamechanger]

I think it's got nothing to do with the DSD being ignored. It is to do with jealousy plain and simple. She is narked that you 2 are happy together and having another child.

[Strokethefurrywall]

Wasn't thoughtless at all - why anyone would expect you to consider the feelings of someone who behaves negatively towards you is beyond me!!!

[YouMaySayImADreamer]

If you don't think it was thoughtless and that you can announce it however you want then why post in aibu? People are going to have different opinions and it probably depends a bit on the dynamics of your family etc.

[Curtesytome]

I don't think it was thoughtless and I certainly don't see why I can't announce it the way I want to!

[Curtesytome]

If she hasn't caused do much trouble in the past and been such a manipulative bitch then I would be inclined to think that maybe I was a bit insensitive, but it just makes me think it's another way to cause trouble and slag us off!

I have no idea who has shown her the post, my FB friends are few and far between, mostly family and close friends. There must be a spy in the camp.

[littlejohnnydory]

YABU, it was a thoughtless way to phrase it and ignored dsd's existence. Could have been avoided easily by 'delighted to announce another baby...'

[goodnessgraciousgouda]

Frankly OP, it's your pregnancy and you can announce it however the hell you want.

Even if it bothered this woman, what the fuck does it have to do with her?

Nothing.

[YouMaySayImADreamer]

In all honestly I have a DSS and I would (and did) avoid mentioning numbers in my pregnancy/birth announcements. I have 2 DC but whilst I see them as my own DC 1 & 2, I also very much see them as children number 2 and 3 in our family as DP, DSS and I were a family long before they arrived. My DP isnt on fb either and neither is any of his family really but I would feel like I was ignoring DSS's existence if I referred to them as numbers 1&2.

I think if you and babies father are together and all your fb friends know you are, a baby announcement is joint news regardless of whether your DP is tagged or even on fb. I think you could have been a bit more sensitive and found plenty of other ways to put it.

[The5DayChicken]

If your DP had written it, she'd have a point. But he didn't, you did. There might be a grey area if you tagged him in but normal people would still be able to acknowledge the fact that you wrote it and that this is your second child. Tell her to stop being neurotic.