To think this is a bit daft?

[Fluffcake]

Just popped to Tesco to get some lunch and saw a woman pushing a trolley with a baby sitting in a car seat in it. The baby was about 4 - 6 months old, I would guess and facing the mum. There was an tablet facing the baby blearing it out Finding Nemo.

Is that not a bit too young to be relying on an ipad to be entertaining your child and is not a missed opportunity to by interacting with your child?

The child, quite rightly, was looking at everything going on around them and gave me a lovely big smile.

but you need to treat a trip to the shops as an opportunity to show off your loud parenting skills to satisfy other shoppers too?

Yes. Talking to your baby in public is just to show off.

What a bizarre statement.

My iPad taught my son to read before he started school. He is now way ahead of where he should be. I really can't get worked up about iPad use

"Yes. Talking to your baby in public is just to show off. What a bizarre statement."

Yes, it is, JassyRadlett. But then again, I didn't say it.

It wasn't far off, was it? 'Interact' in quote marks, loud crossed out - strong implication seemed to be that if you chatted away to your baby in the supermarket, you were showing off your parenting rather than, you know, talking to your kid.

Which yes, is good for the kid.

Apologies if I got the wrong end of the stick - what were you aiming for?

YANBU I'm with you. Ridiculous to let a baby be watching a screen at that age

This kinda crap is the stuff that makes me nervous to go out with my child when she's in a bad mood because people are so quick to judge. Nothing like a tutting by stander to help a situation.

You did get the wrong end of the stick but it's no problem, Jassy.

Thank you, posters, for the really good laugh I needed just now

It is, of course, shocking that any concerned mother would take her baby to the supermarket. I bet they went in a car, too :( She should be at home, letting Baby help her harvest the veg for their supper and learn about life by watching Mummy kill a chicken.

Tsk, modern parenting. It's no wonder children today [complete as appropriate]

Can't fucking stand people who judge other people's parenting from a fleeting glance at somebody elses life.

YABveryfuckingU

I carry my child in a sling, chatting to him and holding his hand while pushing my trolley with one hand like a boss

Meh.

YANBU perfectly reasonable question to ask. But you were committing the ultimate sin of casting aspersions on another mother, hence the flaming you have just had. Hang on for a bit longer and no doubt you post will be removed for being offensive to mothers. Don't you realise that to 'fit in' with Mumsnetters you need to support all other mothers unconditionally and be totally bland in your posts?

If you'd have been at my house on Monday late afternoon, you'd have seen DD (4) watching CBEEBIES for 20+ minutes.

This is because I'd already taken her to a local group in the morning (walked there and back) where she whizzed around like a whirlwind for an hour. Then shopped on the way home, trying to stop her picking up EVERY SINGLE THING ON EVERY SINGLE SHELF. Then took her to another local group in the early afternoon (walked there and back) in which I had to participate in singing/dancing/shaking rattles, etc. Then cleared up after the cat who had been sick on the carpet. I needed some quiet time to recharge for the evening onslaught of meal-preparation, bath and bedtime and so forth.

Fine to interact personally with your children, but sometimes you need a break. I don't think what someone does in the supermarket to enable easy shopping is representative of a whole parenting style.

Meh.

By 4 months, both DSs were so over boxes.

Only advanced technology could entertain them.

Maybe for slower children boxes would work.

[head-tilt]

Surely it's just the outside equivalent of popping them in front of the telly so you can run the hoover round / make the dinner etc?
Or is it all come along darling, let's fit mummy's crevice attachment, this is skirting board, can we say skirting board ??

Very judgemental indeed.

Oops didn't realise these were my judgy pants, I will burn the straight away!
As for being perfect, I wish I was! Then my op would have read better and less judgy. What I'm trying to say is, do babies actually get anything out of being put in front of a screen? And by interaction, I don't mean reciting the times table or anything (that can wait until they are 2 as some have assumed . It was a long time ago that my dcs were that small so I can't really remember. I thought my dcs got hooked on TV from about 18 mos or so.

Also, knowing where this shop was, I wouldn't want to leave an iPad in my trolley for fear of it being swiped.

Finally, you have got to love the hypocrisy of nm - people judging and making assumptions based on a post whilst slagging you off for doing the same thing in real life (where you probably have more to go on).

But you had nothing to go on except for a split second snapshot of a baby looking at a tablet.
The MN jury had your post to go on. By saying 'is this daft?' it implies that you think you know better than that parent. Your OP didn't come across as curiosity as to whether the baby got anything out of looking at the tablet, it came across as judgey and slightly sneery.

You did get the wrong end of the stick but it's no problem, Jassy.

Fab. Care to explain what you did mean then, if it weren't equating talking to babies in a supermarket with performance parenting?

She can do what she likes in my opinion but I wouldn't have thought a 4mth old would even look at the screen really.

Experts say it's not great letting them use screens before 2 or 3 (can't remember exactly) but we all have our bad days!

If you like Jassy. I'll give you a quick scenario.

You can communicate with your baby all day long. Then, you need to go to Tesco. Maybe you're deliberating whether you can afford both the lamb and the pork with the £10 in your purse. Maybe you're wondering what the hell to cook now that you've found that the vital ingredient for your casserole isn't in stock. Maybe you're desperately trying to remember the 36 items you came out for because you forgot your list, maybe you're a bit tired and out of sorts. Whatever it is, today, maybe for the first time, you're not giving baby a running commentary on "Look at the pretty apples. Shall we buy cake for Daddy?" and all the other stuff that I and probably you have said a million times on a shopping trip with a baby in tow.

That's ok. You don't have to. The baby won't fail to develop because he has an iPad in front of him to stop him screaming while you try to work out where the frig they've moved the couscous to this week. You talk to him almost all the rest of the day and [yawn] half the night.

If he's otherwise communicated with and this is one of those once a week things, as visits to Tesco tend to be, the only reason to talk to him instead of having him otherwise distracted, whether with an iPad, the keys to your BMW, a Sophie Giraffe or a wind up musical toy while you shop is to keep judgy people off your back. Ergo the comment "It's obviously not enough to communicate with them at other times, but you need to treat a trip to the shops as an opportunity to show off your loud parenting skills to satisfy other shoppers too?".

Next time I take a small child shopping I'll do a lot of loud and enthusiastic "Oooh Isobel, look at the flowers! Shall we buy roses for Granny? What colour are they Isobel? YES, THAT'S RIGHT, THEY'RE RED AREN'T THEY?" rather than leaving the small child to their own devices (or an iPad one!) while I decide which will last longest, lest anyone gets judgy with me.

[insert large dose of humour and a smile here]

Shit, that wasn't quick, was it?!

Could anyone point me in the direction of these experts who have established that watching TV has a detrimental affect on babies and toddlers? I'd be interested to see how much is too much and why.

It makes sense to me that there is a corrolation between the two because an excessive reliance on the TV babysitter suggests there is a high level of stress in the family or a level of neglect which I imagine are far more likely to lead to negative outcomes.

But, surely the experts have taken all that into account? It's not like the experts think all parents are as thick as shit and cannot make reasonable assessments on using screen time in a limited fashion here and there to get important stuff done, surely?

A box?

Of course. Because a box is going to be so much more interesting that an iPad. And there's so much 2 way communication with a box isn't there?

It's no different to when dd was a baby and I used to give her a toy to play with in her car seat so I could get in and out of Tesco.

Things have moved on and tech is a big part of our everyday lives now.
I bet a hell of a lot of people on this thread are posting from a phone or a tablet, whereas before you had to sit at your desktop computer

When I was pregnant with DS2 I was bed bound with severe SPD. I couldn't be walk a step, so DS1, who was around 20-24months, watched a fuck load of TV. Only in those days, it was videos because CBeebies been invented yet. He knew the script of the Postman Pat one and Fireman Sam one by heart.

Any how, he's 20 now. He holds all A*s and As in his GCSES, and was in fact the highest performing boy at this level, and has AAB at A level.

We did read books, colour and build Dupol and Stickle Bricks, but imo it's bollocks to say screens make children slower!

I think I get it now sorry. I was reading the 'you' as aimed at other posters.