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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go back to work full time?

10 replies

wallaceorgromit · 05/06/2015 14:25

Due to go back to work soon after maternity leave with DS1. My boss agreed to 4 days per week and I sorted out childcare: 3 days in nursery and 1 day with grandparents. I felt happy with this arrangement as I can still make a decent impact at work and move my career on, but get to spend a bit more time with DS.

However, another project has come up at work, but to be part of it I'd need to work full time. It would be good for my career, but not necessarily a deal-breaker for future jobs/promotions. DS would have to go to nursery an extra day per week.

I don't know whether to do it or not. I feel inclined to at the moment, but wondering if I will regret the lost time with DS once I'm back in the full swing of things.

OP posts:
amroc18 · 05/06/2015 14:49

It's a hard trade off but go with your gut - either way your DS will be absolutely fine Smile what's more important is whatever division you choose that you are fully there when you are there if you know what I mean. It would be more damaging to be at home and resent it than to work the extra day and vice versa. If you are happy DS will be too

littlejohnnydory · 05/06/2015 21:15

It depends completely on you. Sorry! I wouldn't do it but I'm not you and I have friends who are happy to work full time. My thinking would be "there will be other projects and plenty of time for that when he's older".

VelvetRose · 05/06/2015 21:18

I wouldn't but it's up to you. I think they are small for such a short time. We're all different though.

cheminotte · 05/06/2015 21:23

Surely if you are only 'part' of it you can do that in 4 days. Do you feel it needs to be full time or have you been told by his? I went back full time after dc1 and it was fine but was glad to go part time after dc2.

BathtimeFunkster · 05/06/2015 21:28

I would go back.

You are going to have to take care of this kid for 18 years. He won't stop needing you when he stops being "small".

If you are in a position to take on a career building project now, it would be silly to put it off because there might be other projects in the future.

Do you want more kids? Because further pregnancies and maternity leaves will put you out of the running for future opportunities.

If you can take this one, you should. They get harder to take and you get fewer offers the more you turn down.

Original poster
wallaceorgromit · 08/06/2015 12:13

Thanks for the advice, I've decided to stick with 4 days. It's taken a little while to come to terms with the fact that I can't have everything!

OP posts:
StaceyAndTracey · 08/06/2015 12:18

I wouldn't do it.

But we are all different - my Dh has worked full time since the children were born and he doesn't regret it at all . He only took about 2 days off and you've taken ( I'm guessimg ) 6 months .

So do what you think is right

StaceyAndTracey · 08/06/2015 12:20

So you have a partner ? If so, why doesn't she/ he go back 4 days a week to cover the extra day ?

tumsup · 08/06/2015 12:25

No it's tricky really. I think it's a myth that you can have everything. All you end up doing is exhausting yourself.

I'm finding 30 hours a week with school age dc exhausting and chaotic.

From the dc's point of view, I think they adapt to whatever routine you put in place myself. You'll know if he's not happy.

Nolim · 08/06/2015 12:32

I work ft and have no regrets. But follow your gut feeling.

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