AIBU in specifying in my will that 'new' DP allows DS to live with him or hand over my share of property?

[freshstart24]

I am buying a house with my partner of 5 years. We will be tenants in common. owning a 50% share in the property. We have each put down the same amount of deposit (£50k).

I have a DS aged 8. DS sees his Dad every other weekend. His dad is financially unreliable, he does not earn a 'proper' wage (he has a hobby which he sees as a job). I supported him for years, saw the light and ended things. He cannot afford to rent anywhere to live, he is currently lodging with a friend but friend has asked him to leave soon. I am not trying to slag off my ex, he is a good dad in many ways but the thought of me dying and him becoming financially responsible for DS is terrifying.

Anyway, I am planning to leave my share of the house to DS. However, there will be a clause to say that DP can live in the house for as long as he likes- when he sells it though, my share will go to DS (managed by trustees until he is 24 as EXP will decide to but a porche etc with it if he gets to influence DS).

DP is leaving his share of the house to me.

So my question is- is it reasonable for me to put a clause in my will that DP can only stay in the house as long as he wants (therefore delaying DS getting his share), provided that DS can live there too if he wants/needs to. I realise DS may want to live with his Dad and that is fine but I would hate the thought of him not being welcome to stay there is he needed to. The problem then becomes that if DS was still young DP could not be expected to become his 'parent' and look after him full time.....

The second issue is that this could great a situation where DS carries on living 'at home' as an adult, rent free because my will had said DP needs to give him my share of the house unless he can live there.

Any advice would be great!

[mynewpassion]

Buy your own house and he buys his own.

your conditions would be untenable and I would lose my home in the future

[maninawomansworld]

I haven't read through the entire thread so sorry if I am repeating advice already offered but you need to get a financial advisor and solicitor involved to make sure everything is done correctly.

A very similar thing has happened to a friend of mine, basically his father re married then died and the new wife got pretty much everything as the arrangements had been drawn up badly.

Essentially she got everything, the son got about £20k out of an estate of £500k. It was his wish that the son should receive the lot!


This is far too important a decision to take advice from a load of randoms on an internet forum - get professionals in!

[LotusLight]

1. You cannot remove your child's fathers right. Eg my younger children have older siblings who live/have lived here and are in effect their other parent. if I die however their father who does not much see them in law as the right to have them live with him. Now I have a letter of wishes with the will which says the children might stay with siblings but that cannot remove the father's rights and that is fine. now they are older teenagers it's not an issue anyway.
   

1. Leave your half of the house to your son as planned. I would do that if I had a new partner. If you die and he is under 18 yes have different trustees from your partner and from your ex and you could give a right to your child to live there until he is say 25 as even if he's 18 when you die he might want to be there in university holidays etc. Then say at 25 the property will be sold so your son gets his half. You don't want your ex living in it until he turns 100 and yuour son never getting the money!
   

However if you die next week and your ex pays the mortgage for 10 years and prices of properties and mortgage rates shoot up your ex may not be happy that your son gets half the equity in 10 years time. I suppose if that's the case the answer is he sells immediately you die to divide the proceeds.

[AppleAndBlackberry]

If I were you I would want my son to have the money at 21, or maybe some at 18 and some at 21. I would want to help him go to university, get on the property ladder etc and not have to wait until his 50s or 60s when DP died. If you feel DP is contributing more to the mortgage and deposit then you could make it 60:40 or 70:30 in his favour to reflect that.

[hidingmystatus]

It is utterly normal even where you are talking about both original parents for the parent to leave their half of the house to the child with provision for the surviving parent to live there for a time. Comments about "I wouldn't sign up to this" are effectively accepting that any right your child might have will be at risk if the surviving partner remarries or changes their will.

However, you need proper legal advice to ensure you achieve precisely what you want here. Talk to a specialist.

[LotusLight]

And be careful about for a time as often it is for life so the step mother 30 years younger than the father outlives even the children so they never get a penny.

[magoria]

What happens if DP wants to live in the house until 60 and DS wants a house/wife/kids of his own?

How will he get the money if DP has a life interest?