To want to move jobs?!

[tangent20202]

I have a job that I had been enjoying very much- up until about 12 weeks ago.

I get on well with my boss- well; I thought I did. I'm not so sure anymore. We have worked together for quite a long time now and she knows me quite well.

I was quite the introvert when I first met her- and she took me under her wing a little bit. She has always described me as a friend. Anyway...the problems.

There has been a bit of a rough patch at work lately with people leaving/new people coming and it has caused a bit of a "split" so to speak.

We work together a lot, or we used to until about a week ago. There are some members of staff she will bitch about when they aren't there, and then will be up their backsides when they are.

One of my co workers went behind my bosses back and did something without her authority last week- and of course; knowing it was the right thing to do- I went and told my boss. Not to be a snitch, but because she WOULD of found out and there was no way to tell who it was so everyone else including her who was on shift when she did it would of been in the firing line. So my co worker got a bollocking. I went up to her and explain why I did what I did- no problem. We aren't the best of friends; but it is still perfectly amicable. Anyway- she left. And here starts the bitching from my boss- how there will be changes she can't cope with, talking about her personal life and how much she dislikes her. In the next day? Up her backside like a rat up a drain pipe- literally all over her, can't stop complimenting her work enough and how she is "the perfect employee" . Quite a change of tune.

Anyway- me. My boss has taken some of my responsibilities away from me, and will be giving them to someone else. I do have a hectic personal life and sometimes I get stressed at work- but I ALWAYS point out that I love my job and the responsibility it gives me. She gives me the tasks that I dislike doing most and so now i'm starting to feel i'm getting the shove. Obviously she can't officially give me the boot as i've not done anything wrong- but she wants me to jump.

I just can't work it out at all though. She says she wants to be supportive and be a friend- but then she treats me like that?! I 1000000% understand she can't show special treatment at work- but when she tells me i'm the only one she gets on with there, and "things are different between me and her" than other co works- but actually acts completely differently, what am I actually supposed to think? I do a lot for her and go above and beyond- and will be flexible with my working hours. So I just feel like i'm being manipulated by someone I thought was there to support me.

I'm sick of it if i'm honest. Sick of getting annoyed at work, sick of coming home stressed out. Sick of getting up in the morning and being filled with dread about going.

[tangent20202]

How badly do I need the job? I obviously need to work- but would it be the end of the world if I walked out tomorrow and didn't get work for a few months? No I have savings for that reason.

Honestly though if she is this bitchy I wouldn't put it past her refusing to give me a reference/giving me a bad one. And then i'm fucked as i've been in the same job since I left school and my old boss passed away last year and the one before that only knew me for a short period and I don't even know how to get hold of her.

I guess if that happens my only choice will be to go above which will then give her ammunition to be pissed off I guess. We live in a very small town and she can probably make gossip spread like wildfire as she has lived here for 50 years and knows everyone or everyones wife/daughter/brother/

[Ratracerunner]

It all sounds very bitchy and political. I would look for something else too and if you find a new position, maintain a polite but professional relationship with your new boss.

Blurring the lines between bosses and friends can be problematic.

And she sounds like a two faced cow who likes the drama.

[SquinkiesRule]

I hope you realize that it's highly likely that she talks about you in the way she does about the others when you aren't there and then says she's friends when you are in work.
Start looking for something else the place sounds like it is going to get very bitchy very soon.

[HermioneGrangerHair]

So to summarise, over the last 12 weeks, there's been a higher staff turnover, your relationship with your boss has changed, and you no longer enjoy your work?

The thing about you reporting your colleague, and your manager's response is a bit of a red herring, except that it suggests some boundary issues between you and your manager, and some pretty unprofessional behaviour from her. I have no way of knowing whether you were right or wrong to report the colleague, but it is none of your business how it's handled from there. You and your boss shouldn't have been discussing it at all.

Should you leave? Well... How much do you need the job? How much is it stressing you out/encroaching on your life outside work? You could try to put some professional distance between yourself and your boss, and try to be more task-focussed about your working life. That could be hard if you're working against your manager, but it's possible that she's also keen to restore a more professional culture in the team, and just doesn't quite know how.