Let me start off by saying I haven't given the ultimatum as the title suggests - I just thought it was the most appropriate way of titling the situation.
Me and my partner have been together 18 months. Known each other 10 years.
We have recently been discussing moving in together to a 3 bed home. I have 2 children of my own from a previous relationship - he also has 2 of whom he has overnight on a Saturday & Sunday daytime.
We struggle to see each other in the week as he works long night shifts Mon-Fri. Our relationship is progressing nicely and we are now ready to live together which in turn would help the situation of not seeing each other much. Problem is he has a dog of which I am allergic to. When I am around her I come out in hives and get watery eyes. This has been resolved in the short term by taking antihistamines. I am also not an animal lover which he is aware of but in my defence I have tried to make an effort with a dog - but it is just not for me owning a pet. This is my opinion, and I don't begrudge others feelings when it comes to pets and animals.
I cannot live with the dog. It moults alot, leaving hair on every surface/clothing/aggravates my allergy. Due to his working hours it would be my responsibility to look after it during the week with regards to feeding, walks etc and I do not want to do it. I grew up with my parents dog and it was finally a release from it when I moved into my own home. I will be looking after my children full time throughout the week and actively involved with his on the weekend, I don't want to be cleaning up after a dog too I just know I will be miserable.
I have discussed how I feel with my partner and received the response of "the dog came first and she is a family member". There is no compromise. I refuse to live with it and he refuses to give it up. I have not asked him to choose between me and the dog, I respect his wishes and have stated that I am going to have to cease the relationship as there is just no median to the situation. Our relationship is at the stage where we cannot really live apart much longer, it will just fizzle out - we both want to settle down with each other and are very much in love.
He says I am being pathetic and unreasonable, my point is that I cannot help how I feel and neither of us will budge with what we want to do regarding the situation.
I didn't mean to fall in love with a man with a dog - but I just cant live with it. AIBU to walk away from the relationship completely? As much as it hurts, I don't know what else I can do.
AIBU?
AIBU....its me or the dog.
Dalfie · 04/05/2015 15:49
Crabby 
. Rspca will do nothing unless you have a camera crew with you!
The RSPCA won't do anything. I called as one of the neighbors has a huge dog (no idea what it is, it resembles a small bear) that she walks to the grass at the end of the street to go to the toilet. She drags it about on its lead and then 3 days in a row, we saw her rugby tackle it to floor in an attempt to make it move to the spot she wanted. I also know she doesn't walk it, except to the end of the street (about 50 yards twice a day), and has it confined for large parts of the day.
RSPCA said they would not look into a dog being confined, unless 24 hours a day. The don't come out for people not walking the dog and the dragging and rugby tackling could be classed as 'obedience training'. 
This is outside my home office window and she tackles it to the ground even now (7 months later) at least 3 times a week. If it wasn't so awful, it would be funny. Watching a women get so frustrated that her dog wants to poo 3 ft from the spot she wants in to poo in, that she wrestles it to the floor.
I'm a bit shocked at some people suggesting the (allergic) OP should LTB and run off with the dog instead! 
Please please op release the dog from her prison. I cant sleep tonight knowing shes locked away.
Do you never read the news then, LondonRach? There are people and animals all over the world suffering unspeakable cruelties and hardships. Does that stop you sleeping too?
I'm not being snippy; I am 
that this dog is being treated like this, but ultimately the dog is not being beaten, skinned alive, etc etc. I often feel overwhelmed and ground down by the suffering in the world, but does it stop me sleeping? No... usually my own petty anxieties and self hatred stop me sleeping.
he's treating his dog very badly.
he sounds unthinkingly cruel. i see this kind of treatment a lot.
his treatment of his dog would be reason enough for me to ditch this man.
i couldn't have a relationship with someone so thoughtless and downright cruel.
you have a bad egg here - you just can't see it.
poor dog .
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