To no longer collect my cat from my neighbour's house?

[PeppermintPasty]

i wonder what you all think of this.

I live in a very rural part of the country. My nearest neighbour is probably just under a quarter of a mile away. They are an older couple. The man, whom I have known since I was a little girl, is in his 80s and is the patriarch of the nearby farm, where his family all live and work. He lives with his second wife, a wee bit younger than him, probably early to mid 70s. They live in a house on the outskirts of the farm land, towards my house.

They have a cat and a cat flap. I have cats. 3-4 years ago I acquired a brother and sister pair of kittens who have been happily living with us and our other cats (2 others) since then.

My garden is massive. Not a stealth boast. It is basically a field with a house in it. Everywhere around is National Trust land that is farmed by said farm.

Cats of course are no respecters of boundaries.

About two months ago the female cat went missing. She is a nomad and sometimes doesn't come in for a day or so, but always comes back. To cut a long story short, we found out that our neighbours had been feeding her and letting her in. My friend cleans for them and the wife had asked friend to let me know they had my cat and she won't leave! Ok, cue a couple of trips round there with my dc to get her back. Wife said she didn't mind, several times, but that my cat was fighting with hers, and so it wasn't ideal. My friend's view at that point was that the wife would have been quite happy to keep encouraging my cat if it got on with hers.

Ok, so I have tried to get my cat back and keep her in, impossible with my other cats, cat flaps, and a little girl who will inevitably leave doors open now and again.

The issue is that the husband has rung me twice and on both occasions been spectacularly rude and aggressive, at one point intimating that as he is a farmer he would know what to do with my cat and that you shoot troublesome animals.

So far so nasty. I don't put up with rubbish like that and the first time I put the phone down on him after telling him to get a grip etc. He told me to come and get the cat again (Friday phone call) and I refused because it is clear they are making very little effort to actually exclude the cat from their house. He shouted at me that it wasn't their problem it was mine, and I asked him how I should deal with it if keeping her in is not an option (it isn't). He suggested I take her to a cats home. I suggested he tried harder to keep the cat out.

But they won't. I accept that they are older and also he has recently been in hospital and it is far from ideal to have a cat coming in who apparently breaks ornaments (?) and has broken into the locked cat flap. I have said I would pay for any breakages but they refuse.

I have a stray cat (with a collar but no name) coming to my house at the moment. I explained to him (over the shouting) that when it comes in I put it out, and that is what they are going to have to do, every time. I said it might take weeks to break her of the habit. I said to them by all means spray water at her, anything like that, but the wife won't do that or says it doesn't work.

I don't want to fall out with them, he has always been a good neighbour but he was spitting vitriol at me on Friday, and threatened solicitors, which is hilarious as I am a solicitor. Basically, he is a shouty old chap who cannot be reasoned with and is used to having his own way. He may also very possibly have been a bit tiddly when he called me.

WWYD?! I just cannot see any other way than for them to continually pick her up and put/chase her out until she gets the message.

Sorry for the length, all about a bloody cat.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

Have they said that they feed it or do they leave food down for their cat and your cat eats it?

All you have is your friend saying that they feed it.

[Moreisnnogedag]

I think fruit's suggestion is the most reasonable one, but I'd have to grit my teeth.

I live fairly rurally and of the six houses nearby, four of us have decided to have black cats. They are all farm cats so come and go as they please (except overnight when we bring ours in). we have accidentally brought the wrong one in on a night and only realised when the fur felt wrong and it meowed oddly.

I'd pop round with a water spray/pistol too if they don't want to change their cat flap. Whilst the woman may not use it, the man certainly sounds like he would.

[BadgersArse]

you can remind him that hurting a cat is against the law?
keep a log of it all. this kind of stuff is the dream of the Mag court

[Variousrandomthings]

I think you need to lock her in a large room in your house for two weeks. Block the cat flap and get out in the evenings when your DD is in bed so she can mix with you and the other cats in the home. Consider getting nicer cat food. Don't pay for damage. They were feeding the cat, so encouraging it.

[Variousrandomthings]

Keeping her in one room is the equivalent of keeping her in a cattery. She will soon feel that your house is her home

[wowfudge]

I am astounded that 1) there is a pound you can take cats to somewhere; and 2) there is a cat curfew somewhere in the world!

In sixteen years of cat ownership I can recall 3 incidents when other cats got in through the magnetic cat flap. They tailgated our cat.

Don't trap your own cat in one room at home - that will be like torture.

[Variousrandomthings]

Wow - it's only a small sacrifice putting cat in a room for a week or two week. It might be the difference between the cat living and dying at the hands of this farmer. It's only like going on holiday and putting your cat in a cattery - except that the space is familiar and known and comfortable with familiar company

[blushingbooty]

Buy him a waterpistol so he can chase her off, tell him to stop feeding her and with the water she'll stay away. By feeding the cat they accepted her in, by continuing to do so they sent the message she was welcome, had they refused to feed her before then she wouldn't have stayed.

[Marynary]

It is ridiculous of them to suggest that you should keep your cat in because they are so useless at stopping her from coming into their house.

We have a magnetic flap and it seems to keep out all the neighbour's cats. Only one has ever managed to break it in the last year. Our cat is also small so I'm not sure why that would be an issue.

A friend of mine stopped a cat coming their house by spraying them with water and a bit of vinegar. Perhaps they could try that?

[TracyBarlow]

A cat curfew? Amazing. Anything to stop the neighbours' cats shitting all over my lawn so I have to go out and pick it up every morning before my children can play out. In their own fucking garden.

[Oldraver]

Well we do have a pound (I'm not the UK), and I would have no hesitation taking a roaming pet to the pound. We also have a cat curfew of between dawn and dusk, so a cat out of their own house at night is breaking the law. I have sent a cat to the pound in the past (kept jumping at my bedroom window screen at about 2am in the morning and howling and screeching). The council lent me a cat trap and I caught it and they collected it.

Seriously ? What kind of country do you live in that treats cats like this ? I have never heard anything so ridiculous as a cart curfew and a cat breaking the law.....and people thinking this is perfectly normal behavoiur

[AliceAnneB]

If I were you I'd offer to get them a microchip cat flap. Problem solved as only their cat could get in. We have two cats and they can't even manage to follow one behind the other through it even though both their chips are registered to it. The second cat has to wait for it to reset. There is no other way unless they are willing to squirt your cat with a spray bottle and actively discourage her.

[Thelovecats]

A quick google suggests it might be Australia...

[PeppermintPasty]

I had to take a photo of my post as my wifi is mad today.

[PeppermintPasty]

Sorry if you can't read it. I keep losing posts.

[TalkinPeace]

Cat curfew is standard in part of Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii and micronesia because cats are so utterly devastating to ground nesting animals not evolved to deal with mammal predators

look up Stevens Island Wren to understand

OP
Microchip cat flaps for both houses are the answer

[MidniteScribbler]

Seriously ? What kind of country do you live in that treats cats like this ?

A country where people are expected to take responsibility for containing their own animals and not letting them annoy the neighbours or devastate the local native wildlife.