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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To cry myself to sleep?

20 replies

CruncherOfCrisps · 30/03/2015 22:23

I am in bed cuddling a stuffed teddy bear my dp got me. I just cant cope any more. I fucking hate my life. My job is making me miserable, I miss my mum, my anxiety is stopping me live life normally, I'm lonely, I'm knackered, socially awkward.

The list goes on. I'm pathetic and cant even stand up for myself. Just let people walk all over me. I don't have the confidence to go to the doctor about it. I just feel so hopeless and scared and wish I could just vanish off the face of the world.

Aibu to just cry and cry until I fall asleep (which will be early hours of the morning)?

OP posts:

BlinkAndMiss · 30/03/2015 22:28

Well YADNBU for wanting a good cry, whatever the reasons. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind at the moment which would push anyone to tears. Are you on your own? Time alone might be what you need, but is there anyone else in the house?

I'm sorry you feel sad x

FreudiansSlipper · 30/03/2015 22:29

you sound overwhelmed Cruncher

no you are not being unreasonable to cry yourself to sleep

of course I can tell you and many others that you are being unreasonable about calling yourself pathetic but this is about how you feel about yourself and maybe this is what you need to discuss with someone

on here you are not alone there is always support

liveloveluggage · 30/03/2015 22:31

I don't think you are being U to feel like it, but it is important not to let these negative feelings take over. You need to do something to make yourself feel better. I would get a nice warm drink and put something on T.v and do a puzzle or something to take your mind off your problems just for a bit. Have a little read on MN and get yourself feeling a little bit better before bed.

PuntasticUsername · 30/03/2015 22:34

You're not alone, and you're not pathetic. I and many others are here for you.

Have your cry. I hope you feel better afterwards. Please post here again and let us know how you're doing

VanitasVanitatum · 30/03/2015 22:34

YANBU at all but give yourself a break and go see your GP, or a different one if you don't like them. You sound depressed and that's not something you need to suffer through

Greensiren2014 · 30/03/2015 22:34

Hi,

I didn't want to read and run but I'm afraid I don't have any real advice except the doctors would be a great first step. I went last week as my anxiety was also getting out of control and I was struggling to function and I already feel a little less alone. It's hard but might help.

Droflove · 30/03/2015 22:35

I'm sure I'd like you. Some people are just naturally too hard on themselves. They are always the good people. Just remember that.

QueenBean · 30/03/2015 22:35

Aw I'm so sorry you feel like that, life can get truly overwhelming and sometimes what you need is a big cry to get it all out

Maybe try and read for a bit before falling asleep and then have a good rest

Is this a one-off or a regular thing?

AnnaFiveTowns · 30/03/2015 22:36

Can your DP go with you to the doctors to ask for help?

liveloveluggage · 30/03/2015 22:36

Being a nice gentle person is not a bad character trait by the way, it is the sad state of the world and the fact that others are not very nice which means we need to learn to be assertive, but it can be learned so don't feel bad about that. I am a bit awkward socially myself, but I just do my best and concentrate on my family and my much loved ddog and I am quite happy, I just realised you don't need loads of friends when you have MN!

Original poster

CruncherOfCrisps · 30/03/2015 22:47

Thank you everyone. For the poster who asked my dp is in the living room watching tv.

This is not an uncommon thing for me. I have felt miserable since I was little. I did seek help when my mum died some years ago but the doctor wasn't very supportive. I am too scared to go back. I feel like they will think I am making it up or attention seeking.

I put on my happy face for most people but inside I am screaming with emotional pain. My world is just a dark and empty place.

OP posts:

goodenoughmum88 · 30/03/2015 22:52

It may be good to try going back to your gp practice and ask for a gp who specialises in mental health? Most practices have one. Ask for a referral/information on your local primary care psychology service, and have an assessment. Feeling like this all of the time means you need to speak to someone and there is a service there for you that's free and can help. You won't feel this way for ever but need to get to speak to the right people first. Xxx

confusedNC · 30/03/2015 22:54

Sweetie I've had a rough few months. All caught up with me after Xmas. I went to gp. Best thing ever. I'm also lucky enough to be accessing counselling but just reaching out for help has been a big positive step.

We all have periods where things can overwhelm us. That's human not pathetic. Is your dp around? It might help to talk to friend or dp?

Sometimes we need good cry but if it's how you feel a lot, get some help. Im so glad I did.

PuntasticUsername · 30/03/2015 22:56

Much sympathy here. I know how it feels to genuinely believe you are the worst, most miserable, most unfortunate person in the world. I actually know a lot of people who have also felt like that quite a lot of the time. All I'm saying is, we can't ALL be right

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with healthcare professionals in the past. Sadly, it's not unusual. If you can manage to access your local mental health support teams, you'll get much more sympathetic treatment.

cabbageandgravy · 30/03/2015 22:57

Oh op You do sound fed up, and as if you are way too used to negative ways of thinking. Are there other doctors at your GPs? I have got to know which ones at my doctors are always kind.

I eventually got myself referred for cognitive therapy to learn to 'coach' myself to think more positively. It is a great skill to have, i think they should teach it in school. It might really help you. You really deserve to be helped. Perhaps your partner can support you in this, but either way, there are lots of things you can try. There is always kindness and goodvadvice on here too. and yes, do a puzzle or read something undemanding if you've got something like that there. Or even sing a hymn to yourself, I like to do that sometimes even though I'm not religious!

TheWindowDonkey · 30/03/2015 22:59

Hi cruncher. In your op you mentioned several issues that are leading you to feel this way. Unhappiness with your job, loneliness, being knackered and socially awkward and all things that feed on one another iyswim. If you could change just one of those things, which would it be and what would be the best case scenario concequence of that change.
When you look at all of those things they seem insurmountable, bu having been where you are now, i know that sometimes changing in small ways the thing i hated most about life actually snowballed into lots of small positive changes that helped me see light at the end if the tunnel.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mum, no matter how long ago the loss, that 'needing' your parent when you are at the bottom never fades does it?
Hang in there and know you are not facing this alone, lots of people on mn have been there and will be able to advise you.

confusedNC · 30/03/2015 23:00

X-post. Ask for different doctor? Most practices have a few and can see any of them. Perhaps you need bereavement counselling. I don't think it's unusual for people to feel loss for years, especially if it's tied up with other anxieties or you couldn't grieve fully at the time for whatever reason.

Dp must know you feel low if he's bought you cuddly toy? Sounds like he cares? I hope you can reach out. You're worth it.

AlpacaPicnic · 30/03/2015 23:04

Please reach out to someone. The Samaritans are only a phone call away. They will listen, they don't judge. They are not just for people who feel suicidal.

Sometimes life gets on top of you.

I hope you get some peace and some sleep too.

TheCatsFlaps · 30/03/2015 23:16

YANBU. I have been there and know it is hard to look up when you're feeling so down. Please do try another GP, there are some excellent medics out there.

chopinbabe · 31/03/2015 01:16

I second the Samaritans. Give them a call and you can just be yourself without having to pretend to feel differently about anything.

Make an appointment to see the doctor. Lots of people suffer but there is help out there and there is no shame in seeking it.

Things will get better: it's a very long road that has no turning.

Flip