Giving myself over to MN jury as I'm unsure in the cold light of day but cannot be objective!
DS, 20m has a recurrent viral wheeze which lands him in hospital a lot in winter with breathing difficulties. He sometimes needs oxygen, sometimes just assessment and monitoring with his inhaler. Yesterday we had to go at 5 p.m. as he couldn't stretch between inhalers without struggling / working too hard with breathing. I knew we'd be there at least 4 hours but more likely 6 or 7 for the monitoring side, and we have previously been discharged at 12 and 1 am once they've been happier with him. Other times we've stayed overnight for monitoring or when there has been something else too (chest infection).
Yesterday, he was unable to wait anywhere near the required amount of time in between inhalers in A&E and they told us he'd stay overnight to be monitored once he moved up to the ward, we got up there at 10 pm. Upon admitting him they said he might be able to leave at 2 am IF he managed without the inhaler for next four hours, and if that was the case, did we want to take him home then or wait until the morning? DH had a big meeting at work first thing so waiting up there until 2 so we could go home wasn't ideal and mainly the cold aggravates DS' wheeze so didn't really want him out in it unnecessarily, so we said I'd stay with him overnight and DH would go and get some sleep, he left at 11ish, and overtired DS finally went to sleep.
At 1 am the doctor came and said his wheeze had almost gone, she was happy he could manage without inhaler until 2, and said we could go home after that. I explained the above convo with the nurse and that I didn't feel comfortable taking him out at that time across hospital grounds / car park, he was exhausted and finally sleeping and it didn't seem like the best thing for him. At which point she told me she was discharging him, there was no reason to stay, other parents had to manage and why were we different? If getting to the car by myself was such a big issue someone could take me and he could go back to sleep at home. Basically, I felt like I was being some sort of freeloader on the nhs for not wanting to leave until morning and her manner was bloody rude. I repeated the nurse had asked us and she said she had already told him he shouldn't have and that I could stay then as they weren't full, but if they needed the bed in the next few hours we would definitely have to leave.
So, at 2 am, when they woke DS up for his inhaler and throat exam, I - completely pissed off, knackered and confused - thought we probably should leave as if I settled him back down then we were kicked out for the bed it would be even worse. Then of course we had to wait half an hour while they fannied around doing I'm not sure what to discharge us. The doctor's (sarcastic?) offer of being walked to the car never materialised so did the deserted hospital grounds by myself. Got home at 330 am, unable to get DH up from his death sleep (chain on door), Ds crying in the car while I frantically banged on the door / rang him / prayed / eventually got in around the back with my kitchen key after climbing over the gate.
WIBU to complain? i'm really not a complainer (lazy) and have am very appreciative of the nhs but am not sure if that's clouding my view - I can be grateful for their help but still displeased with this, can't I? I don't really want to be in this position next time, and don't feel it's right for young kids with chest problems to be forced out in the winter at that time and wonder how many other people on their own with LOs this happens to. If we'd known this was going to happen, DH would have waited and pulled the car up to make it as least disruptive as poss for DS.
Sorry so long - would appreciate perspective!
AIBU?
About middle of night hospital discharge?
hawaiibaby · 18/02/2015 11:32
I won't weigh into the debate as you've said its resolved now, OP, but I wanted to say that it sounded like a very long and difficult night. Hope your DS is feeling better and that you all get a good nights sleep 
Sirzy - sorry forgot to respond last post. He's under paediatrics and started on montelukast granules a month ago. No difference as yet in frequency but doc said he may recover quicker this time because of them. Do you have experience?
PS The reason I went home (other than stroppiness 
) was the fear of finally resettling ds (takes a long time in noisy hosp) and then have to go anyway an hour later because they needed the bed. That is after all what the doctor helpfully threatened told me.
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Right - unreasonable it is. Fair enough and thank you.
Fully concede the doctor reluctantly and conditionally agreed we could stay eventually, as before, it was more that we were asked if we wanted to stay, made plans based on that, then it changed. But yes just one of those things and not worthy of a complaint because of a breakdown in communication. And yes I was pissed off and stroppy (did say that earlier) but that sometimes happens when stressed, upset, anxious and without sleep. As before, we have been discharged in the early hours so it wasn't that per se, though it's interesting that a lot of PP in similar situations aren't.
I'm not going to answer every post because quite frankly I'm too tired and though am fine to be told unreasonable, I do object to getting a bit of a pasting. I asked if I wbu to compain. Answer = yes, fair enough. But otherwise, not sure what I've done wrong. I'm not a difficult person, and as pp have said I absolutely would have moved and quickly if the doctor had asked / explained this was what was needed. We are both very 'yes of course, thanks for your help, grateful for support' type people. I didn't realise that meant I couldn't feel upset at how the night unnecessarily panned out. It's great for those that are cool as cucumber and completely un-fazed by this kind of thing (if indeed you've been in a similar situation) but it's not like that for everyone.
Thanks to everyone who managed to give their verdict - whichever it was - without being completely rude
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