To be afraid of being at home alone

[Liger123]

My partner is working away tonight and it will be the first time in a few years that I've stayed in an empty house alone.

Around 8 years ago I experienced awful sleep paralysis- I was living with my parents and it was enough to make me crawl into their bed just for some comfort.

Although I haven't had an attack in some years, the feeling of being scared in my sleep hasn't left me. I love having time to myself at home but I'm dreaded later on tonight when I go to bed.

Does anyone have any tips to help to get through the night? Apologies for sounding like a big baby!

TIA

[Liger123]

*dreading

[Bowlersarm]

I'd be the same! Haven't had to do it yet. Would it help to sleep downstairs with the telly on?

[Justabitoh]

When dp is back late, or not home at all, i usually fall asleep with a bedside lamp on, listening to a funny podcast.

I also suffer from sleep paralysis, i find i get it worst when i'm overtired. But you will be fine. I know it's terrifying at the time, but i just have to tell myself 'it's ok, you'll be fine' and try to go back to sleep. Trying to wake up never works for me.

[Liger123]

Thank you for your replies we live in flat so no downstairs, but I might put an audiobook on so that I have some background noise when I'm trying to sleep.

I'm also going to have some and watch SATC so hopefully that'll help me sleep easy...

Thanks again - it's nice to know I'm not a total sad case

[SuasSios]

I used to be like this, and would wake up a lot during the night if DH was away. He is currently away for a month so I've had to overcome the fear. I have a routine now of going to bed early, and sticking on a DVD. I watch it til I am tired, and then set the TV timer to turn off in e.g. an hour. I turn the volume down pretty low, stick in earplugs, and read for a while. So, when I turn off light, I can't hear anything apart from muffled TV sounds. Before I started doing this, I'd hear all sorts of noises (creaking beams, wind/rain outside), which would either keep me awake or wake me up with a jolt. I leave a light on in kitchen and hallway, so if I do have to get up in the dark, I am not trying to find the switch. I actually quite like being alone now, I'd never lived alone before and I am enjoying my own company.

[FightOrFlight]

YANBU

I love time to myself but as I'm used to sharing a house with people (parents then flatmates then children) I do get a bit creeped out about being alone overnight.

I think it's the fact you notice every noise that a house/flat inevitably makes - creaking, taps dripping, radiators and heating systems when they are heating up or cooling down. If someone else is in the house you just assume they might be responsible for the noises. When you know you are alone your mind plays tricks on you.

I second leaving a light on outside your bedroom (hall/landing etc.) as darkness elevates your other senses.

I remember being on my own one night watching Shaun of the Dead and nearly crapped myself when the rose bush outside the window tapped lightly against the glass due to the wind. SotD is a fecking comedy, not a horror movie I decided against watching 28 Days Later the next time I was on my own!

[pillowaddict]

I am very anxious about being alone - can't remember the last time I stayed alone at home as I genuinely have to ask a friend or my dsis to stay with me if dh is away I suffer from anxiety anyway and am terrified of the dark so I just can't cope all night alone. However, when I need to, I can stay in a hotel room myself (for work trips) as long as I have all lights on and door firmly locked. I hate being this way and really don't want my dd to grow up being like me.

[Amy106]

You are not being a baby. Lots of people feel this way. Just remember to leave lights on and don't read or watch anything scary or upsetting. Good luck tonight!

[maninawomansworld]

DW hates staying on her own in our place. It's a big old farmhouse with no neighbours , no streetlights (well, no street - just DARKNESS!) and a massive woodland to one side of the house. We've a cupboard full of guns and loads of dogs and she is still uneasy if I'm out late.

What does help her is if she checks the perimeter (doors / windows) and then ensconced herself in part of the house such as the kitchen and the snug which are next to each other and can be easily closed off from the rest of the house. She says the smaller space is less scary than the vast dark emptiness of the rest of the house.