To be totally angry that flu hits over Xmas and DH stays in bed for a week

[Monkeygirl28]

Flu hit on 27th, both of us get it, DH goes straight to bed leaving me with his parents and 2 DD 3 and 6 months to just get on with it...bedtimes, cooking, inlaw small talk etc and then generally getting up 4x night then up at 6am with either child....Pretty raging.....think I've had one lie in to recover...

[Bulbasaur]

I got really sick for a day after ironically making a big song and dance about getting the flu shot and ignoring my own advice. DH took off from work, stayed home, and took care of me and the baby. Luckily DD had her flu shot and didn't get sick. Not saying everyone has the luxury of taking off work, just pointing out that just "getting on with it" isn't the only option if you have a partner that can help you out. You two are a team, why isn't he helping you?

That said, if his parents were there, he probably assumed they would pick up his slack. Why not just defer child care to them as well? Let them spend time with their grandchildren. I would have.

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

Agree with many others, sometimes you just have to suck it up. I was so sick one time when DH was away that my head swum and I threw up when I tried to sit up. Somehow I made it to the fridge and pulled god knows what out of it and fed whatever it was to my baby sitting on a blanket on the living room floor. We slept in the front room and I lay on the floor for a good amount of time with a couch cushion as a pillow while my baby patted me. The TV was on. There was a nappy bucket in the front room and supplies next to it. We live 5000 miles away from family and DH was 1000 miles away so I had no choice. Luckily he wasn't gone very long and cleaned up and took over when he came back. My friend took and brought my preschooler home from preschool and fed both kids and filled a cooler with food and drinks for me but other than that I coped. Noone had a bath. I have no clue what my son wore to preschool or if the baby was even dressed.

Yes some people are hospitalised with flu, some feel like complete crap, they run a high temp and everything hurts and you are exhausted. If you aren't in the need IV or passed out for 48hr brigade somehow you make it work if you have to because you have no choice. Just because you needed IVs and were in a coma does not mean that the one somehow coping does not have "proper flu".

[mimilovell]

Reply to PhallicGiraffe- the reason why not everyone get the flu jab is because there has not been one year where the manufactures have GUESSED the flu stain for that that year. It takes 6 months to make a vaccine, and by the time it is out, the virus has already mutated. This is the reason why every year it doesn't work. And there is not one document from the manufacturer to say they have guess it right. Just recently, the Centre of Disease Control apologised for the flu jab not working this year.
www.naturalnews.com/047890_flu_vaccines_CDC_apology_medical_fraud.html

In addition, the guessed genetically modified virus being injected into your body, there are also a whole host of other chemicals, germs they know about and germs they don't know about being in thing the vaccine. And people who have looked into vaccines, don't want to inject that into their bloodstream, let alone consume it. Ie there are a lot of pregnant women who dont take the flu jab because it doesnt make sense. We are told to cut down on fish to limit our intake of mercury, yet our health officals tells us it is okay to inject it instead. Here is a video from University of Calgary showing how mercury kills brain neutrons.

There are others who say well I am not anti-vax but I wont rake the flu jab because there has been reports of death amongst healthy people.
Headlines such as "Ineffective Flu Shot be Causing More Severe Flu Outbreaks, Including Deaths - See more at: vaccineimpact.com/2015/could-the-ineffective-flu-shot-be-causing-more-severe-flu-outbreaks-including-deaths/#sthash.iZ6KA5fy.dpuf
vaccineimpact.com/2015/could-the-ineffective-flu-shot-be-causing-more-severe-flu-outbreaks-including-deaths/
Health girl 14years old dies aftrer flu shot - www.aol.com/article/2015/01/05/iowa-teenager-dies-days-after-flu-symptoms-appear/21124625/
Italy www.globalresearch.ca/flu-vaccine-kills-13-in-italy-death-toll-rises/5417407
Real life reports after receiving other vaccines not the flu one : thesnapmom.com/fighting-vaccine-battle-half-brain/

Hope this answers your question

[TattyDevine]

And even though I pondered the idea above that maybe he had it and the OP didn't, its likely they had the same virus, but also possible they didn't. We should shut up really! Well I should. Boo.

[TattyDevine]

Its true, nobody knows what you have really, not even necessarily yourself.

[Pangurban]

Yeah, what monkey troubles said.

[Pangurban]

There are different strains of flu and immune systems can vary in their ability to fight it as well. My paternal grandmother died from Influenza. This doesn't mean you only have the flu if you die from it. It was a particularly dangerous strain my grandmother was exposed to.

I had to function while I had pneumonia. And yes, it was diagnosed. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do where children are concerned. It does take it's toll.

[DinoSnores]

phallic, I'd always recommend those at risk get flu vaccines but having a flu vaccine doesn't guarantee never getting flu or a flu-like illness:

www.cdc.gov/flu/about/qa/vaccineeffect.htm

[StarOnTheTree]

You do find a way to get out of bed with 'proper flu' when you have young DC that need looking after, what a ridiculous thing to say.

Of course you can drag yourself around if you have no-one to help, because erm your DC would probably die if you stayed in bed for 5 days

I had flu 18 years ago when DD1 was a few months old when I was a lone parent with no support. One of my neighbours took DD1 for a few hours and on nursery days I dragged myself out of the house to take her because the other option was looking after her all day. It was truly horrific but I had no choice. Fortunately that's the only time I've had flu since having DC.

[toomuchtooold]

Bogeyface once I came on MN to have a whinge about how long it took my antenatal clinic midwife to diagnose my anaemia and half a dozen people chipped in to tell me that by the symptoms I was describing, whatever it was it wasn't anaemia. After I had had a blood count done. WTF, really.

[Bogeyface]

Oh and re flu diagnosis by MN....

I posted on here having had a truly awful day, I felt appalling. I was told that no, I didnt have flu, no matter how bad I felt, as I wouldnt have been able to post on MN. No, the fact that I was in bed on my tab didnt make a difference.

Then a couple of weeks later I referred to my "flu" when moaning about my mum saying that there was no way she had it if I didnt. She is something of a drama llama with illness, so it isnt a cold it is flu, it isnt a cough it is a chest infection, she told me she had cancer when actually she had a lump that the doc was investigating and he had said yes it could be but it was more likely a cyst. It was a cyst.

So anyway, MN then told me that actually I probably HAD had flu, that it affects people differently and I should not be so hard on my mum as she was probably really poorly. She wasnt.

So basically, if you think you are ill then you get told to pull your socks up by MN, but if you think that someone else is taking the piss when ill, you are a heartless unfeeling bitch......

[sykadelic]

FWIW Influenza A is going around my area at the moment. So many people I know have tested positive for it. They are still functioning in life to some level because they HAVE to. They have to go to work (one apologised to her friends when she tested positive because they were exposed).

Also, some people who had the flu shot still got sick because it doesn't protect against all kinds.

So this whole "well you didn't have flu" nonsense needs to stop. They might not, and yes people should told using it as a catch-all unless they've been officially diagnosed with Flu, but hardly the point of the thread!

[PointlessResolutions]

Not all men are like this. My DH has been ill since the 27th, is only just starting to improve and he's been mucking in and doing too much as usual. We cover for each other, it's not just him who gets to be ill. Just don't put up with it.

[Bogeyface]

[ItIsntJustAPhase]

Oh, I am premenstrual. And therefore righteously indignant about all sorts of things today.

[ItIsntJustAPhase]

OP, I haven't read the thread but I am in a similar situation. Ish. I'm actually totally fine b t have been seriously unwell from early 2012 to late 2014. Have been super solicitous of DH, taking on all childcare and housework but today I have just HAD IT. How did he think I managed everything while he just went to work every day?

[Monkeygirl28]

Monkey troubles I think you are right milking it did cross my mind!

Flu jab would have been a good idea in hindsight

Thatstoast - made me laugh out loud..!! .now what to do with that £8 perhaps a well deserved bottle of vino!!

[thatstoast]

What does she need the flu jab for when, according to mumsnet, she clearly hasn't had flu? Good news, OP, you've saved yourself £8!

[Hurr1cane]

Phallic, some people can't physically get the flu jab, it would make them very very ill

[PhallicGiraffe]

Why don't people get the flu jab? £8 at a supermarket really is an absolute bargain to avoid feeling shit for a week, especially over Christmas. Please tell me, I'm genuinely curious.

[monkeytroubles]

FFS. All the people saying "if your DH really had flu he wouldn't have been able to get out of bed".. do you not realise that there are many different strains of flu? Just because you had a particular strain of flu that rendered you completely immobile for days that doesn't mean that everyone who gets any flu virus will experience the same symptoms or the same severity of illness. Even if two people have the same strain of flu they can react to it differently. I contracted H1N1 (swine flu) a few years ago when I was working on a hospital ward. I felt like shit but I was certainly physically capable of getting out of bed, although I really didn't feel like doing so. Some people with H1N1 need to be hospitalised, some actually die. People are different, they experience illness differently.

OP, all the aforementioned " is it real flu or not" bollocks aside, if your DH genuinely wasn't capable of lifting a finger to help you he should have had a word with your PIL and kindly requested that they either help you out with the kids or please go home. And before anyone says "if it was real flu he wouldn't be able to.." If he was genuinely so weak that he lost the power of speech then he should have been in hospital. In which case I'm sure OP would have been a.) extremely sympathetic and b.) terribly worried about him. The fact that OP feels hard done by suggests that actually her DH appeared to be milking it just a tad.

[Monkeygirl28]

Malabrigo thank you!! I did tick off my symptoms on nhs website so that's the limit of my qualification of flu but yes if he had flu and I didn't then perhaps a different take on it all each post has helped me work this one out in my head so it's been good to vent!
All I'm saying is equality ... That's it no more no less... Maybe a bit of thanks for mums/ dads over Xmas too as it's not like it was in the single little black dress off down the pub days......

[Malabrigo]

Yeah the only person who can assess that is the OP and she clearly feels that he didn't pull his weight. So, we have to comment on that basis. Like any other thread, we're dependent on the info the OP gives us.

[DinoSnores]

I had flu once as a junior doctor and kept working through it as I thought it was just a really bad cold although I was breathless and having night sweats. It wasn't until my post-flu pneumonia was diagnosed that I realised what was going on and stopped work for a week.

Yes, lots of people say they have flu when all they have is a bad cold, but also many people with flu do just get on with things out of necessity of just because they are not affected so badly.

[TattyDevine]

I suppose it is relevant if he had "real" flu and she didn't. We are not in a position to know this.