To ask people about the mind set of FB users who brag, brag, brag

[raltheraffe]

I struggle a bit understanding other people's intentions and motivation.
This person has already been unfriended.
I am just wondering why she does it. I am aware a couple of shitty things have happened to her this year, but yet no mention of them, just this incessant bragging which I find a bit weird.

[OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat]

I must either think differently to most other people or I think a lot of people on here are a bit weird about FB. Do people really have 'an agenda' about their FB account?

I use FB as an alternative to sending a postcard from holidays, sharing funny little things that I see, or for keeping in touch with distant friends and relatives. I may have posted a 'look at my shiny new bike' picture but that is because I have a lot of cycling friends and I am excited about riding it, it's not a boasting 'I have a new bike post'. But the concept of judging a person's worth by what they own is something that has completely passed me by.

I haven't a clue whether people deliberately 'edit their FB image' as it just wouldn't occur to me to do that.

I don't think it is an appropriate medium for sharing and discussing problems or sad events and I don't like FBs invasions into your pictures (I haven't worded that very well but I'm thinking of the 'it's been a great year' thing they have been pushing recently. How dare they presume that you have had a great year?

I too have suffered an especially sad and tragic bereavement this year, but made no mention of it at all on FB because I don't think it is appropriate and that person and most of the other people affected weren't on FB anyway.

[WanderingTrolley1]

Some are insecure and seek validation.

[bensam]

I can't resist looking at what people have posted on FB but it gives me a knot in my stomach every time I do and especially if I post something (which I rarely do). Went on the other day and a friend (who constantly posts mundane stuff) had posted a picture of a blood-stained tissue plus splatters of blood on her table having cut herself trying to open a box. I mean FGS!

[LoxleyBarrett]

I use FB for it's entertainment value and don't really care what peoe post. It makes you realise that some of your friends are idiots and also highlights the lovely ones too.

Recently one had a almighty rant about bragging. A real foot stamping strop about not wanting to see their big new cars etc. The irony is that she brags just as much in a stealth way - hundreds of selfies, pictures on ski slope / at charity dinners / of her huge house and holiday home etc - she didn't quite get the irony when someone called her on it.

[Royalsighness]

I know exactly what you mean here. BUT. Try to work out why it annoys you so much to see other people post positive things rather than questioning why they do it, they may be insecure and unhappy but as long as they aren't hurting Anyone leave them to it. There are a lot of odd characters on FB. I find the ones that post the least are the ones to be most wary of as they see EVERYTHING

[cheifbrody]

If it is your normal life to go on holiday a few times a year, buy a new car every year and the kids are doing well at school. Also you are generally happy why is that considered bragging that it just my normal life.

Would you rather me lie and say I had a bad day today, no because then you would be moaning that I am moaning.

If you dont like it block me, see if I care, I doubt I would notice.

[AnotherGirlsParadise]

I post the occasional nice pic of my DC, sometimes a handful of pics of somewhere we've been or something fun we've done, sometimes a pic of me and DP together. The majority of my status updates are inconsequential fluff or sarcasm - I absolutely loathe how Facebook is used as a confessional/attention platform/haven for the passive aggressive. It causes SO MUCH trouble. The only reason I keep my profile active is to stay in touch with friends abroad, and family members I live a long way from. Otherwise, I could totally live without the horrid thing

[EllieQ]

I agree with Ilkley - to me FB is a place for sharing nice/ funny/ interesting things that other people will enjoy, but too 'public' for sharing anything personal and painful (even though I only have a small number of FB friends). I don't post anything about my mother's illness, or our infertility issues, but I'd post that I was visiting my mum, and was happy to announce my pregnancy on there once we'd told family in person.

I like seeing the 'everyday' things from friends who I don't see very often, which I know some people find irritating. So I'll post photos of the cat, comment on the book I'm reading or the tv programme I'm watching, post a link to an interesting/ funny article, or post something superficial about my life.

I suspect this is why people are accused of bragging (and I agree with the PP about it being almost un-British to post anything positive), simply because they're not putting everything about their life on FB. I find whiny/ self-pitying/ 'feeling so bad today' type comments far more annoying than someone being positive!

Also, posting photo of your toddler (with a bloody face!) after he's had an accident is weird and gross! Yes, someone I know recently did this!

[Theoretician]

I don't use facebook, but if people were posting about things they'd spent money on (cars, holidays, homes) I wouldn't call that bragging, I'd just think they were happy about the good things in their lives. Similarly for child "accomplishments".

There's nothing wrong with telling the world you have a new Ferrari (or whatever.) If you go out of your way to explain how it's better than your facebook friend's Mondeo, that's a different issue.

I suspect that most of the time when someone is accused of "bragging" the shortcoming is on the side of the (jealous) accuser.

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

Surely Facebook isn't the place to share the ins and outs of things like marriage problems/health scares etc. I've got a 13 month old DD. Since she's been born we've had some horrific times (PND etc) and some amazing times. I don't share much but when I do it's obviously going to be happy pictures of a nice family day out, not an account of how she only slept for 45 mins all night and I was feeling suicidal.

[DoJo]

So know that this person has had a tough year, and you suspect that they are feeling insecure and your response is to un-friend them?

[MonsoonAlan]

Some people are just like this anyway and facebook provides an editable platform to do it so you can only show the highlights and not the every day drudge. No-one posts pictures of themselves emptying the dishwasher or putting loads of washing on. I rarely post but if I do it is if we have had a nice day out or sharing anything which takes the piss out of Farage. I'm sure no-one is the minutae of my life and I'm not in theirs either.

I have a RL friend who is the most hilariously self-promoting person ever. She is very nice but never misses an opportunity to brag about her or her family's accomplishments.
Me: how are you?
Her: fine, just trying to decide which dept to work in next term, I've had outstanding reviews all round and now I have several departments chasing after me
Me: urm, great

I kind of admire her brass neck but at the same time, in a thoroughly british way, am mocking it with DH later.

I only have a small circle of facebook friends and they aren't really the tedious bragging sort (otherwise I wouldn't be friends with them and all my facebook friends are actual friends) I have one grumbler but in fairness she has lots of stuff going on so I am sympathetic.

Blimey, I don't think I've addressed the OP at all, just wittered about myself. It's like being on facebook

[cheifbrody]

Also you do not have to unfriend anyone you can just unfollow them so you do not see their updates...................... Then you can just have a look at their profile and see what they are up to when you want.

[Happypiglet]

I use fFB quite a lot. I usually post funny anecdotes about my general life, funny things the kids have done/said, ironic situations etcetera.
I also post photos of things we have done, days out, holidays, kids in onesies etc.
I also might comment on something in the news.
My posts always have an audience in mind. I have several different 'groups' of friends. For instance mil and my dad and both do and my siblings live a long way away and they derive great pleasure from feeling involved in our every day life with the DC, I certainly wouldn't phone or e mail each one individually with this bits of news and photos but FB s great for it. So I guess a local friend might call that bragging as they see me a lot and feel no need to see pictures of the kids enjoying a local day out but other of my FB friends do.
I always read posts and remember that I am only one small part of the audience....

[GaryShitpeas]

I love a good fb thread

I read something on here the other day saying FB makes you hate your friends and family

It's TRUE !!

[MuddhaOfSuburbia]

Ugh Smugbook

I loathe the SPINNING

Eg I could spend a day at my friends', moaning about her OH and how terrible he is, and how hard work her kid is, then see GREAT DAY CATCHING UP WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY on the Boastbook. Or hear about some disastrous family holiday where everything went wrong, then 93 pictures of sunsets and dinners go up, with a Feeling Blessed

Fuck. Off.

This is usually people who are great in rl

I just don't get it. At least try and be funny, dammit

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I haven't shared the bad things that have happened this year on facebook but I have shared photos of my wedding.

Bragging?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Mostly my status updates consist of vaguely witty complaints though.

[Pastperfect]

I use facebook to keep in touch with friends and family across the world so I share photos, occasionally tag myself if I'm somewhere interesting/exciting/strange and update my status if something curious/unusual/amusing occurs.

Sometimes my kids will look lovely, sometimes the destinations will be beautiful it is what it is.

I don't understand the angst around facebook - it's supposed to be fun. If you hate your friends get better ones.

[sunnyfrostyday]

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't mind the spin. I just think - good for them.

Quite aware that some of my friends are having a bad time, but don't mention it on facebook, but I think it's like putting on a smile and brushing your hair to go to the shop or work. Your public face always has an element of spin.

My DH and my sister both get very annoyed with it though. I put it down to their own insecurities.

[ClashCityRocker]

It depends. My DB and sil put lots of baby stuff on Facebook - pics, progress reports etc. They live a long way from family and it's a convenient way to keep in touch.

It's also quite nice to look back a few years on. If I put up pictures of holidays or weddings or even just nice days out, it's more for my sake than the people on my friends list, bar one or two close friends who may be generally interested.

[Glastokitty]

The thing is, one persons bragging is just another person's every day life. I have a friend who is a multi millionaire who posts about her trips to the Maldives etc. she's not bragging in any way, it's just her life. I have been accused of bragging sometimes when I post pics of us at the beach. I live in Australia, so I am apparently bragging about it being sunny. You can't please some people!

[Shockers]

What Ilkley said!

It would not occur to me that my friends would think I was 'bragging' if I posted holiday photos. Mostly because I don't think any of my friends are so mean spirited!

I love seeing their holiday photos too. My friends are mostly workers who look forward to relaxing with their families on holiday. I'd enjoy looking at their pictures if I went round; why not on fb?