AIBU in thinking it's odd to call your MIL "Mum"

[Fabulous46]

My DIL is 4 days overdue and has asked to stay at ours for another week. This is no problem to us as DS is back to work tomorrow and I'll be around. It makes sense as she won't be alone if she goes into labour. I'm a bit uncomfortable though with being called "mum" in the last few days by her. I really do adore her, but, well, she has a mum doesn't she? She doesn't have a great relationship with her own mum. I wondered do any ladies call their MIL "mum"?

[sykadelic]

I call my DH "dad/daddy" when talking to our dogs ("where's daddy?", "Go ask dad") and I expect I'll do the same when we have kids to reinforce the name so you could ask to be called Gran so little one knows that's your name (and not Mum or MIL).

To answer your question though, no, my MIL is by her first name. Sometimes I called her "mother-in-law" when talking about her to other people.

[Bulbasaur]

DH calls my mom "mom" but my dad by his first name or "hey you" to avoid the issue. He has a great relationship with my parents and they both treat him as one of their own. But he has terrible relationship with his own father, so calling someone else "dad" is a bit awkward for him.

Likewise, I don't call FIL "dad" and it feels weird and forced when I try. He's not my dad and he's not a second father to me. I have a good relationship with my father and don't need a second one in my life. I did call MIL "mom" though, she was a second mother to me.

[Annietheacrobat]

Many congrats!

[however]

I think I'd quite like it if my future DIL thought enough of me to call me mum.

But if any of my kids call another woman 'mum', well, I'd hunt her down and kill her.

[wigglylines]

MIL signs cards to me as Mum sometimes.

I thought it was an old-fashioned thing to do too, I didn't take it as if she was trying to replace my real mum.

[WineWineWine]

Take it as a compliment. My DH calls my mum, mum - because he loves her.

My MIL wanted me to call her mum. I never could, I don't like her that much.

[TheBooMonster]

My mum has always called my dads mum and dad mum and dad.

I do the same with my PiL sometimes, more in written form than out loud though. The way I look at it is when I married my husband I didn't just accept him into my life and family but his whole family and as I'm the one who puts the effort in with buying presents and cards writing their names rather than mum and dad seems incredibly formal

[cococandyfloss]

My BIL calls my mum and dad 'mum' and 'dad'. I like him but for some reason every time I hear him call them this it makes me cringe and want to shout they aren't your mum and dad they are my mum and dad!
My own husband calls them by name.

It also confuses me when he is telling me a story and says.. "and then mum said..." I takes me a bit to realise he is actually referring to my mum and not his own.

My parents did it but I think it is a generation thing-a lot less people do it now. (My sister and her husband are quite old fashioned)

[2rebecca]

My stepkids don't call me mum so I'd found it odd if anyone other than my kids called me mum. My mum called my dad's mum "mam" where as my dad called his inlaws by their first names. My mum said my nana insisted on mam but she would have preferred first names. I thought it was an older generation thing and am surprised some younger people still do it. Only my mum got a mother's day card from me.

[MasqueradeWaltzer]

My SIL calls my DM 'mum' and I think it's nice. Her own mother died when she was young.

But for us it's 'your mum' or their first name when we are talking to each other.

[MammaTJ]

Aw, you sound such a lovely MIL, so worthy of the title of Mum! Enjoy!

[Showy]

Brilliant, brilliant news. Congratulations and a very happy new year to you all.

[AcrossthePond55]

Oh, how wonderful!!

Congratulations, Gran!!! Best wishes to the new parents and baby!

[tilliebob]

Aww congrats Granny!

[zeeboo]

I've always called my MIL'Mum' it seems perfectly normal and natural to me.

[2015]

Congrats

[Fabulous46]

I probably used the wrong word in "uncomfortable". It was more odd as only my own kids have called me mum. I'm very flattered and grateful that we get along so well.

I've only been called GRAN today since an 8lb 4oz blue bundle arrived at 9.41am this morning. I was VERY privileged at being the third person to hold him . Mum, dad and baby all doing fantastically. Not that I'm excited to have them here with us or anything.

[Purplecircle]

My mum always did this but my Dad didn't call his parents Mum and Dad.
I don't do it but I do think that it's a compliment that she chooses to

[ceridwyn]

Thought it was normal, but then my MIL passed away before we married so never did it myself. I regard my SIL as my sister but then, I only had brothers to start with. It certainly used to be the norm when marriage was considered the joining of two families and not just two individuals.

[skylark2]

I don't, but my mum always called her FIL "dad" (FIL's wife died when my dad was a child).

[QTPie]

God, I would be very flattered! (DS is only 5 - so not an option for a few years...).

Could be her pregnancy hormones or she could be feeling genuinely close to you - would encourage it and not fight it to be honest. The better you get on with her, the more involved you will be with the grandchild :)

[MrsCosmopifairylight]

My dear late Dad used to call my (also dear & late) Mum's mother 'mum'. Partly because of the generational thing, and partly because, unlike his birth mother, she was fond of him.
Mum called Dad's mother by her name or Mrs Xxxx

I get on extremely well with my MIL but call her by her first name, not "Mum".

[tilliebob]

Nope although my MIL has often tried to get me to do so. I have a mum, thanks. DH and my mum are close but he calls her by her name and never as mum either - why would he, when he has his own nightmare of a mum?

[muminhants]

My DH has two brothers and both his sisters-in-law had lost their mothers by the time they married DH's brothers. They both call his mum Mum.

However, my mum is still alive. But MIL likes to be called Mum. I don't tend to call her anything in conversation, but will put Mum in a card or letter if I am sending one as I know she expects/likes it.

My DH calls my mum by her first name.

[BingBongMerrilyOnHigh]

I think it's lovely. I wish I had that kind of relationship with my PILs.