Would you agree to a stripper?

[Inncogneetow]

I work in an office with a great team, aged 25-55. Some of them are very young, energetic and trendy; I'm not. But generally we all get on well and support one another. We go out 3-4 times a year.

In Jan we had plans to go out for a nice meal to celebrate a birthday, then some people were planning to go clubbing afterwards. Fine. I had no desire to go clubbing (old fart), so would have dipped out at that point, along with others.

Apparently the plans have now changed and we are going to someone's house for a "nice take-away" and a stripper is going to be organised for the birthday girl.

I am really, really uncomfortable with this (old fart). I don't want to be there, but I also don't want to support it in any way. I wouldn't like it if my dh went to such a party and I really disapprove of men or women being 'forced' to work in this way for the entertainment of others.

If I decline the invite now and give reasons, I will obviously be branded even more of an old fart and a killjoy, and they'll claim it's just a bit of fun, but I just hate the thought of it on so many levels.

So, AIBU?

[chipsandpeas]

wouldnt bother me, altho not my cup of tea id discreetly go outside for a smoke (or make a urgent phone call) when the stripper was doing his thing

[DaisyFlowerChain]

Not my cup of tea but I'm sure I could amuse myself for the time the stripper is there, feign needing fresh air etc.

I doubt the stripper is being "forced" to do it, it's usually a job choice for many and a good earner.

[whattheseithakasmean]

I wouldn't go & I'd tell them, in a nice lighthearted way, that the stripper really wasn't my thing. I bet you might give others confidence to do the same.

I didn't go to a fashion show/shopping night with my female rellies because there were going to be 'cheeky waiters' (boke). Basically, topless young lads serving the drinks. My DH wouldn't dream of going to Hooters or the like, so I have to pay his sex the same respect, I think.

I was assured they were lovely happy young lads who were setting up their own business & it was just a bit of fun. I pointed out topless waitresses would also present as lovely happy young girls and just a bit of fun. Both grim and to be avoided by me.

[Theoretician]

I have no moral objection to most of the sex industry, but I have no interest in seeing strippers. It'd be like going to a restaurant, looking at and smelling the delicious food, getting really hungry, then leaving without eating. What's the point of that?

[MrsItsNoworNotatAll]

I always thought that strippers weren't allowed to err....do their stuff in a private house. That they were only allowed to go into public places and someone has to be with them like a chaperone.

I don't know, something to do with their safety I think. Sorry I'm not wording it very well.

It would be my idea of hell anyway. Anything remotely work do-ish usually is. I wouldn't be going and wouldn't give a flying Fuck what they thought.

[Gawjushun]

Whatthe -- you were right to give the cheeky waiters a miss. They aren't just topless, the walk around in nothing but aprons with their ass hanging out. Double boak. Not sure I could enjoy food or drink served by someone with their butt on display.

[Mammanat222]

Agree that it sounds hideous!

If you care so much what the others think then feign an illness on the day. Personally I'd just say it's not my thing and opt out now.

[notenoughwine]

I recently started quite a similar thread here to get some advice about a surprise party with a stripper that was planned for my mum's friend. I thought she would hate it but she actually ended up enjoying it.

However I did discover I was very much in the minority of people who sees the whole thing as a bit of a laugh and a funny story to tell later.

Obviously if you don't want to go you should tell them you won't be able to make it. I'm sure they will be a bit more understanding than you think if you're honest about it. I know I'd never judge anyone for telling me it wasn't their cup of tea.