Friend 'working the system'

[leannarose5]

I have a friend who was in a very sticky spot this time last year. She had gotten pregnant from the result of a one night stand and he didn't want to know. I really felt for her. Obviously, she had to claim some benefits as her wages weren't enough, and rightfully so.

Fast forward a year, she is in a new relationship, they are living together, he treats her child like his own and she helps to run his familys business. She has just found out she is expecting.

She also recently told me that her boyfriends family pay her cash in hand, and she does not declare her wages. She hasn't declared that her boyfriend is living with her despite the fact he is working full time and owns a property which he rents out. She hasn't declared that her daughter's father pays her maintenance. She has now decided to tell me that she can't believe how rich she is going to be once she has her second baby, so she is not planning on declaring it then either.

I know it's none of my business, and I know reporting her wouldn't make me any better off financially (I don't plan to report her) but I can't help but be furious. To the point where I am really struggling to be around her. I am a believer that the welfare system is a safety net for people who really need it, just like she did originally, and people who abuse that are the people who make everyone so anti-welfare and it's really unfair on people who truly need it.

So my question is, would I be unreasonable to avoid her, although she hasn't done anything to me personally, because I disagree with the way she lives her life? I know I sound a bit stuck up and pretentious, but I'm just really not sure how to deal with this.

[specialsubject]

catching burglars doesn't make insurance premiums go down, but it stops theft.

if she is a benefits cheat, she's a thief. Tell her that - you don't want to be around her, who knows what she might steal?

and report her too as long as you are sure of your ground.

[Lushlush]

She needs reporting. Too many people are genuinely in need and suffering at the hands of the government changes ref benefit cuts and she should not take advantage of the system like this. Does she not realise she could be imprisoned FGS?

[MaryWestmacott]

Mulder - thing is, the problem with Vodafone is it doesn't look like they have actually broken the laws as the law currently stands. They have paid some tax (VAT and business rates on shops), but it's not clear with HMRC that they actually owe any more in corporation tax, as it's not clear they've actually made a profit in the UK market given their debts.

It's complicated, and the law as it currently stands is crap at dealing with mulitnationals.

While you can just go report Vodafone if you want, you'd need to know they they were supposed to pay tax, not just that they didn't.

It's not clear that the woman earning cash in hand here is earning enough to pay any tax, the OP could report her for tax avasion and be wrong, but it is clear that she's defrauding the benefits system if she's claiming money as unemployed when she's not - rather like if you had insider information that Vodafone were lying and had already paid off their debts (the reason they say - and it looks like the HMRC might be agreeing - that they don't need to pay anything in corporation tax).

[JudgeyHotPants]

I can't believe that so many on here seem to condone benefit fraud. How can it be fair that there are so many families where both parents are working all of the hours god sends, claiming nothing but have very little left to show for it by the time their mortgage/rents, bills etc have been paid. It's just not fair and I can fully understand why it riles feathers so much.

[Roussette]

Whether I reported her or not, I would be looking at my 'friend' in a completely different light. I would be questioning my own judgement that my friend is behaving like this and I would be spelling it out in no uncertain terms to her how I felt about what she is doing. It ain't big. It ain't clever. But it is dishonest and amoral.

[Roussette]

When I say 'questioning my own judgement'... what I mean is, I would be shocked at how I had got so friendly with someone who was capable of this.

[leannarose5]

That's part of the problem, it feels a bit like a slap in the face as she is not really very popular among others (we used to work together) but I have always stood up for her. The sad thing is when she first moved in she was telling me about how blatant it is that her neighbour was claiming her partner didn't live there when he did, and now she's doing it herself. It seems as though she was given the help she needed when she needed itand has now got carried away

[UncleT]

Newsflash - you can be against benefit fraud while still understanding what the real sources of the benefits squeeze actually is. As usual, it's not a mutually-exclusive choice between tackling one or the other, and neither does either justify the other. People talk about distraction - this is a post about an individual allegedly claiming fraudulently. That has NOTHING to do with the issues pertaining to capitalist greed and cutting of benefits for those who need them.

[BackOnlyBriefly]

If this is literally true then she is not 'working the system', but committing fraud.

The trouble is we've had so many threads where it turned out to be just a guess that it's hard to take them seriously any more.

If you know for a fact that someone is definitely and deliberately committing fraud you should report them, but unless you're their accountant you almost certainly won't know for sure.

[NeedABumChangeNotANameChange]

She is a thief, she is stealing from the state. I would report and end a friendship with a shoplifter and the same with this woman.

[BackOnlyBriefly]

And yes the benefit cuts are about votes and attitudes to the poor (who wants them cluttering up the place) rather than a few people being overpaid.

[Mulderandskully]

That's what I was trying to say MaryWestmacott

[ArsenicSoup]

The trouble is we've had so many threads where it turned out to be just a guess that it's hard to take them seriously any more.

Exactly Back.

OP it is very strange that in such a short space of time your 'friend' has gone from criticizing the neighbours actions to following suit. Maybe that is your 'in' to challenge her? Just lightly say "You've changed your tune.....(and you're taking quite a risk)" and see what she says?

She really is taking a huge risk if she doen't even understand enough to know that CM isn't deducted. Dhe'll incriminate herself easily.

[Bulbasaur]

I know it's none of my business

There's your answer.

It's none of your business.

You don't have access to her bank statements. You don't have access to her tax forms. You have no idea what is going on with her financially.

She could be talking out her ass. She could be telling the truth.

If she is telling the truth then it will got tits up without you having to do anything when her xDP claims maintenance, and they look at her yearly earnings/ bank statement.

[cruikshank]

ssd, if your 'friend' who gets £2k a month has children who are old enough to qualify for EMA, then she won't be on income support but instead will be on job-seeker's allowance whereby she will have to prove that she is actively seeking work. And if she's been on it for two years, she'll have to, in addition to signing on, attend training courses, do monitored job searches at the training provider's office, do unpaid full-time work experience at local employers etc. Are you absolutely sure she is claiming unemployment benefits? Only it sounds, for the sake of £70 a week when she's already netting £500 from the ex, like a monumental fucking hassle for no good reason.

[Chloe1996]

Please help. I’m a single parent who can’t live with my ex, how do I go about getting help to get my own place with my baby? Will they help me? :(

[swingofthings]

Why not just be totally honest with her? Tel her next time that you think her behaviour is appauling, that you don't agree with any of it and don't want to be friend with someone who think such behaviour is acceptable.

Tell her that you have decided not to report her for the time being and hope she will stop claiming but that you can't give her assurance you never will. Then turn around and let her freak out. That's what she deserves.

[Babycham1979]

Grass her up then.

[Lifecanbeabeach2]

She won’t be rich by adding another child in to her benefit claim

• adding a second child isn’t a huge amount of difference
  

But yes she is a fraud

[Madders45]

ZOMBIE THREAD

[Madders45]

@Chloe1996

You’ll get far more answers if you start your own thread rather than resurrecting one from 2014.

[MotherOfMinions]

She- and all the others who are doing similar- are ONE of the causes of govt cutbacks to benefits. And each time someone is caught defrauding benefits it gives the Tories justification in what they are doing.