to go for the grammar?

[parakeet]

I am really torn. Reading, spelling, she's brighter than average I reckon (all parents think that, I know). Maths, she's currently in the middle set (out of three). She's in Y4, and we haven't done any tutoring yet but I'm thinking we should probably start around now if we're going to.

Our nearest comp is quite decent, so she would probably be fine if she goes there. But I feel she would probably fit in better at a grammar - she's fairly studious, not very street-wise, in fact a bit of a goodie-goodie, god bless her. I could imagine her being happier there.

On the other hand the last thing I want is for her to feel anxious and stressed for the entire remaining years of her school-life, because she is always behind at maths.

[gingee]

The above post was to parakeet by the way!

[gingee]

Oh Lordy it's late it was for agapanthus I meant!!!

And I agree with you about letting fate take its course !

[Agapanthusbluewhite]

Gingee - I apologise for my earlier comments I really do, it was presumptive and unfair to you. It was late and I was feeling contrary I guess, but that's no excuse. I hope both your DD do well in life you seem like a lovely DM.

[Sianilaa]

If you'd like her to go to the grammar (go and look round it!) then what have you got to lose by putting her in for the test?

I attended a "super selective" grammar myself and I have taught in in grammars in Bucks and Berks.

Children who are tutored to within an inch of their lives to get in are usually easily spotted. I believe a bit of exam technique and a pack of practice exam papers to get a feel for the tests should be all they need to do.

She might pass, but that doesn't always guarantee a place. She may not pass, and well, so what? Have a back up plan that you're all happy with. Don't make it the be all and end all. If she has a chance, take it. Someone has to get in.

I can't tell you how many parents I have met on School Open evenings, that gush constantly about how amazing little Mary is and how, at 10/11, they're already on GCSE level work in all subjects and how lucky we would be as a school to have them. 99% of the time it's BS or extreme PFB! And I don't think I actually ever saw one of those children in the following September in my 8 or so years as a Yr7 tutor.

Grammars don't necessarily have better teaching or facilities than a local comp. The advantages come from having bright kids, so you get through work at a higher pace, cover more material and to a higher level. Generally there are fewer distractions in class so behaviour is different - but not always perfect! They come with their own set of issues. And more and more they are seeing pupils with mental health issues and illnesses such as anorexia, for example.

Don't tutor your child. Buy a pack of test papers from Waterstones and see how they get on. That'll show you what kind of chance they stand. Don't make it a big deal, don't put massive amounts of pressure on them. But equally, it's worth a shot. Don't shy away from it just because you're worried they might fail.

[parakeet]

Thanks, there have been many many good points here. It has helped me very much.