To think that early childhood is for having fun, not being academically hothoused?

[bronya]

I know people who are talking earnestly about how many shapes their child can recognise, how far towards twenty they can count, etc etc - aged 19 months. There was a whole discussion at toddler group this morning about the best structured activities to use to teach a child maths - aged two. It just seems a shame to be pushing a child so young. Surely this is the one time in their lives where they can follow their own interests, enjoy life without any pressure and just have fun?

So - AIBU to take my toddler to the park, on nature walks with the dog, to let him play outside on the bike, or with his football if he wants to? To follow his interests (within reason) and just let him be a child? Sometimes I feel I'm the only one who isn't concerned with x hours of 'academic learning' each day!!

[Expedititition]

It because the puddle brigade always come up on these threads. They are just puddles. Rain in a hole.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Why not do both.
You can go to the park and count how many dogs you see, what colour flowers there are, the numbers on busses, doors and gates.
there is so much to teach your kids just by going for a walk.

[EverythingsRunningAway]

Puddles are totally brilliant.

That's why kids love them.

[raltheraffe]

If there was a prize for academic hothousing my mum would have won it hands down.
I started primary with the reading age of a 9 year old, able to write and do sums up to 100. This was because my mum was so focused on academia everything else got forgot about. I was not allowed a paper round in case it distracted me from my studies.
When she insisted I sit SEVEN A levels thankfully the director of sixth form refused and told my mum that she would push me into a nervous breakdown, which she eventually did.
It was like being brought up in a religious cult.

[EverythingsRunningAway]

But why teach them about cardinal numbers and counting?

What about the fun maths in reflections? In the Archimedes principle? In figuring out what floats?

(Puddles!!!! )

No wonder so many kids think maths is boring if they're constantly having to count every thing they see.

[grannytomine]

Too true EverythngsRunningAway.

raltheraffe I hope you are OK now. I think most pushy parents run out of steam before sixth form, well the ones I know. Your mum certainly had staying power.

[Expedititition]

But they don't have to count everything they see. They sometimes count some things they see. That's fun too.

[Pippidoeswhatshewants]

A wholehearted YANBU from me, op! I especially hated the other parents that started check-up conversations with my dc: oh, which colour is your shirt? How many conkers did you find? Etc.

Let kids be kids, and that goes for when they are in school, too. No, they do not have to look smart and get prepared for work when they are of primary age!

[morbihan]

Some children do gravitate towards certain things. DD for example is 3 and loves letters. All day long she is asking me what words say, asking how words are spelt, asking to do typing and so on. Anybody overhearing her might think she has been hothoused and wouldn't she rather be jumping in puddles but she absolutely hasn't been, she initiates it.

[Mehitabel6]

I bet you don't bore people to death talking about it though, morbihan- it is of no interest to anyone, other than possibly fond grandparents.

[EverythingsRunningAway]

Counting isn't really that fun though, is it?

There are way funner things to do.

But if you count pointlessly there is lots of praise coming your way from a nearby adult.

I find the idea that 3 year olds naturally love numbers as convincing as the idea that 3 year old girls naturally love glittery crowns.

[morbihan]

That is true mehita

[RabbitSaysWoof]

Those people sound boring.
I'm sure they're not wrecking their dc's childhoods or anything but they sound boring to give it that much thought and energy I hope they're not too disappointed when their children are 4 and no further advanced than any other 4 year old.

[LePetitMarseillais]

Um counting is fun for a lot of kids.Counting stairs,missing out numbers,patterns etc is hugely enjoyable for pre schoolers and particularly if your brain is wire that way.

My dc were all obsessed with letters,words,books,one was obsessed with science, one with ICT etc

[CharlesRyder]

Counting isn't really that fun though, is it?

There are way funner things to do.

You think this because you haven't had a kid who loved counting! DS was a compulsive counter and even now at 4 sits in the back of the car talking about numbers and doing flipping sums. I have to ask him if we can talk about something else.

I remember being at a really cool leisure pool with him at just 2- slides, water cannons, the works. He wanted me to hold him near a pillar with a safety notice on so he could pick out the letters.

He has mild ASD and at 2 learning the rules for all this lovely, ordered stuff WAS his fun.

[ZeViteVitchofCwismas]

i think the children should be exposed to learning as some of them need it and thrive on it, however I dont like it when parents get stressed their three year old hasnt got a good pencil grip yet.

This is where I can be smug, as I exposed DD. Let her have a go, tried to do some counting, in fun games and so on, but it never clicked I let her be with regular chances to pick it up and never stressed. she is now easily over taking the hot housed children.

[raltheraffe]

My mum was only just warming up when I was at sixth form. Things got worse at Uni. I thought the big goal was to get in Oxbridge, but the moment I started the goal was to get a first, then a distinction. When I qualified with distinction then it was train to be a bloody brain surgeon which I was actually doing incredibly well until I got myself sectioned. After that she called me a nutter and embarrassment and did not want to speak to me again as I had brought shame on the family.
Best bit is I did not want to even train in medicine, I wanted to be a mechanical engineer but my mum said that was beneath me.
To be fair she had serious mental issues herself.

[bronya]

The conversation didn't revolve around 'Timmy loves counting' - more around, 'What activities do you plan each day to develop your child's maths? How do you get xxx interested in shapes/counting/whatever?'

If my son wants to count, we count. If he wants to spend two hours listening to me read every book we have, that's fine too. But if he's not interested, we don't do it. I don't think forcing learning at this age will give him a love of learning, and I'd rather he had that. I'd rather he stayed curious and interested in the world around him, that just for these few years he learns what he wants to, when he wants to. We'll be cooking soon, because he keeps bringing me the cookery book and asking about all the utensils, how to make things etc. We may make cakes once and not again for ages, or he might want to cook lots. Up to him!

[LePetitMarseillais]

Personally I'd love to know how you "hothouse" your average 3 year old.Most 3 year olds I know don't sit still for 5 minutes.

[ZeViteVitchofCwismas]

ralt that sounds awful...

[EverythingsRunningAway]

Patterns are fun.

Counting things for no reason isn't really fun.

Letters aren't interesting in and of themselves.

I reckon most children are far too smart and have minds far too sharp to be genuinely fascinated with squiggly shapes they can't decode or counting stuff to solve no problem.

I think they are smart enough to have figured out how clever the grown ups will tell them they are if they seem interested in these things.

My kid is interested in all that shit too. She's always hearing adults (never me ) go on about how smart she is.

I think she's smart, but not because of that mental mechanics stuff. She has a wicked imagination and she's great at telling jokes. Those are things I can get excited about.

[ZeViteVitchofCwismas]

lepetit it can be done. check out the threads on getting DC into top nurseries, the nusriers look for ability to apply oneself, ie building a tower..can child write name, know basic colours...

Exposing and making things fun is one thing, its the parents who get stressed about it...

I have heard it plenty at toddler groups, sucking in breath oh he isnt holding his pencil right yet this that and the other!

[raltheraffe]

To be fair she had serious mental issues but she never got any treatment as she figured everyone else was mad and she was the sane one.
When my aunty told her that I did not want to do medicine, my aunty was shown the door and that was the last time I ever spoke to her (until after mum died). Gran pointed out medicine involved animal experiments (I have strong animal rights views) and so gran got shown the door and that was the last I ever saw of her.
As for friends, they were strictly forbidden as they may distract from my studies.
When I was studying for medical finals my granddad was dying and she did not even tell me in case it could affect my grade. I only found out he was dying when I had a weird dream he was going to die so got straight on the phone and told mum that I thought granddad was going to be ill. I started demanding to know what was going on and it transpired he only had hours to live, so I left Uni and went back up North to be with him for his last few hours. If I had not had the weird dream I would not have been told until after the exams and I would have missed the funeral then.

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

My DD likes numbers and letters and will bring me books so we can do them. She also stops at road/street signs and asks what the letters are or will say the ones she knows.

She will run around the park, jump in puddles, go up and down the slide 5million times, refuse to eat her dinner, demand snacks, throw a tantrum having her hair washed, and every other thing a 2.6 yr old does.

The two aren't mutually exclusive.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Ds is 2.10 his SALT she expects him to sit at still for 15 mins . I told her that's a bit ambitious.