Ill try and keep this as short and sweet as possible.
Basically, DP (of just 6 months) has a 1 and a half year old daughter and struggles with the concept of parenting. It's not that he doesn't like children, nor doesn't want children, it's just much sooner in life than he intended.
The pregnancy was the unplanned result of a fairly long standing, but casual 'relationship' with a uni friend.
He is doing his best (his words) to do the 'right' thing by the child- sees her once/twice a week, and is paying child support, plus back pay.
On face value, fine.
However little things he's said just don't sit quite right, he openly tells me he told the CSA the wrong amount- he got the figure wrong, realised then chose not to correct the matter.
He often makes comments that just don't sit right with me as a parent- (hard to say without a complex story to put it in context) stuff like he just can't be bothered to go this week and this child is his 'practice run' etc things like the latter are said in jest, but still doesn't sit right.
Also, just generally about how he's struggling with keeping on doing the right thing when it's not what he actually wants to do.
I have however seen a marked improvement in his attitude just in the time we've been together (I'm pretty frank with him- when he's being a twat I tell him)
My biggest problem is, I know how he feels, I've been the parent that didn't want a child, took years to bond with DD and realise I love her and did want her in my life, (I just never spoke to anyone about this and just got on and dealt with it, hoping life would get better) and so I feel I am somewhat a hypocritic in judging DP when he's trying his hardest and I'm much further down the line of 'getting over it'.
I just wonder whether I'm being a little unreasonable in my unease when maybe he just needs more time to come round to being a parent. But it does play on my mind a lot
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AIBU?
To be questioning my relationship?
6 replies
AmIAHypocritic · 31/10/2014 20:23
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